Toddler behaviour & sleeping
Posted by: Amz84
18th Dec 2010 10:54am
I am going out of my mind with my daughter at the moment, she is 27months and is constantly demanding food and attention. That would be ok but it's the way she goes about it with tantrums and hitting and screaming! :( Anyone have any suggestions? I have just about tried everything and am ready to give her up for adoption (i would never really do that!!) but that's how i feel sometimes. The sleeping is horrible too, it doesn't matter what time she goes to bed she still wakes up between 4 & 5 every morning and will not go back to bed/sleep! HELP!!??
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Have you heard the saying "if you ignore it long enough it will go away" it really works. It sounds mean but it's a part of life. I found being really cheerful when my kids behaved that way works too. (actually still does and their teenagers now.lol) give them a bit of a laugh tell them they are so funny when they carry on like that. Tell them it won't help and go about your day humming a tune. Sometimes it's hard when you just want to pull your hair out but after a few times they will realize they are not going to get what they want.
Not all tantrums are about 'naughty' - more often than not they are borne of frustration. - so an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. And while all the advice here re what to do once a tantrum happens is sound, it is also good to help your little one to learn how to manage those overwhelming emotions so the tantrum does not happen in the first place.
Being 2 is such a difficult time! The world is so big and full of so many things to learn and do, and it is all so tiring. Tiredness (as well as hunger) are major triggers for a tantrum, so best to time important things like shopping trips and visits to reles for when you know she is 'fresh' and keep little bags of snacks to delay a hunger fueled tanty. (I am NOT saying pander to the tantrum - I am suggesting that you do all you can to help her not to 'lose it' -and for the rest, it's normal discipline and boundaries)
Speaking of which - those 4 am starts have to go! One clever mother I know got her son a children's clock and created a simple poster so he knew when it was awake time. If he was up before the hands of his clock found the 'sun' sticker, he was firmly put back every time. (with a drink if neccessary, and he was of course allowed to play in bed). Worked a treat.
i need help whith my 4 year old she is verry naughty she screams at me she hits me as well and dosen't listen to me i have tryed putting her in timeout takeing her toys away any one have any other tips would be verry helpful
Thats what my daughter is like at times, but when she carries on with the tantrums and crying i put her on a chair in the naughty corner. It took her a while 2 get used to sitting on the chair 4 2 minutes. But its working like a charm now. Just have a look at some of the supernanny shows! You have got 2 be calm but they really work.
I have a 3 year old son who is very demanding and thinks he is boss, I have found paying no attetion to him and waiting till he asks me nicely for something is woking, sometimes a little persaverence can go a long way
THANK YOU - I am not the only one who is doing the daily battle with this behaviour.
My daughter is 31 months old and has become extremely demanding on all levels. She wants her way or no way. Wanting her independence!
She is the youngest of 3 and the other two (boys) were no where as bad as she is.
I have used all coping strategies - ignoring, walking away, time-out. None of them work. Eventually its me throwing the tantrum.
I'm aware that it is just one of the those stages and she will grow out of it (she had better!). Imagine what the teenage years are going to be like.
On the upside she is a perfect sleeper. I get to recharge overnight ready to do battle again the next day.
I had the same prob with my son. It was hard, but this is what I did. I ignored the tamtrums. In the mornings I put a clock in his room and highlighted the time he was alowed to get up. I stuck a sticker on the clock and said when all the hands are on the 6 you can get up. It took a while but he eventually would sleep or just play until the hands were on the 6.
when the little one cries out dont alwats pick baby up as they will get used to this
dont sleep with the baby in the same bed
you can leave toys laying with the baby to try and help with entertainment
and the tv helps to music is a must for all kids used to have it playing all the time when i was there with them
try and loose the mid day sleep for the little one as well as sleep time is better during the pm for all and when baby sleeps so do mum
and dont be scared to say dad hears your half as dads need time with the kids
with waking time just let bub lay for a while
and if all else fails nanna and pop may want time with the grand kids
hope this helps a little
As a mother of 4 children that has dealt with similar issues with my daughter, I have a few questions. :)
How is the rest of her development progressing? If her motor skills, speech and social interaction (other than the hitting and screaming) is progressing "normally", then it could be a discipline issue as suggested in other replies. If not, it could be related to lack of development which is a completely different path to follow.
She may also be manifesting food intolerance behaviours, which I recommend visiting www.fedup.com.au for some ideas that have helped us tremendously.
Kids go through natural cycles. There are periods of rapid development when they can become very cranky, then suddenly they turn into the loveable kids you once knew again. Yes, firmness, good parenting, proper discipline, etc, does make a difference in the long run, but what I've discovered from being a parent is that there are periods where it is a struggle no matter how ideal, loving, and firm a parent you try to be. And, now having learned about and experienced these cycles myself, I have many a parent whom I've given a bit of a sour look while seeing their 2 year old throw a tantrum in a store an apology. It was not necessarily their fault. But be careful and don't use that as an excuse to be too lax. You still have to try to shape their proper behaviour 24/7. It's just something to keep in mind when the strain gets a bit much.
I'm having the same problem with my 3 yr old daughter. Especially when it's around with my 21 month old daughter. 3 yr old is always making trouble towards her lil sister.Such as screaming at her,taking things off her,pushing her,and smacking her. Sometimes i blame us parents for the way she was brought by seeing wat we parents do or say. I tried many times to stop her doing these things to her lil sister..
With demanding attention, sometimes they just need some reassurance that everything is fine. A cuddle, a kiss and a quiet word in their ear (mummy loves you you know). I realised I was pushing him away at times because I was too tired (normal). I found, his behaviour changed when mine did. As for the early wake ups, well I gave in and had that morning snuggle in bed. (Quick, jump in before jack frost gets your toes!) Sometimes they will go back to sleep!
I went through a similar time with my now 4 year old son........
He was very demanding at times it's the terrible twos. I found that both ignoring the tantrums (use the chin down - high eyebrow look) and using discipline (bedroom GO NOW!) worked. Not straight away, but he kinda just grew out of it. As for food, i realised that he was thirsty a lot too. Sippy cups and big boy cups with ice in them, kept him amused for ages. I used bread rolled up into balls and put them in his trains for fun. I realised they want to try what we eat too.
Sorry....I meant 3 main meals a day!! lol
This may sound harsh....but you need to be boss! Do not respond to her tantrums as that is giving her positive reinforcement for her behaviour. Walk away where possible and tell her you will talk to her when she is calm and using words not screams. Lock away food and restrict her to 2 main meals and a snack between. No juices of cordials, make water available at all times. Milk only with meals. As for the sleep. ....You have to explain to her it is still dark and when it is dark it is sleep time. Take her back to her room every time. It will take a few days, but she will get better. If she comes into yr room, take her back calmy, explain to her you love her etc and tuck her in and leave....agin and again!!! Good luck! I have 3 grown chn and work with chn and find that these things usually work.
I have a 3 year old girl, whom already thinks she is a teenager.
Thanks Jill I have this issue and I am already trying a few of your suggestions. This has given me a positive insight.