Pregnancy & Parenting

Closer to Mum or Dad?

Pregnancy & Parenting

Posted by: jessicawalden

17th Dec 2009 11:51pm

Do you think its fair to say, that a daughter is generally closer to her mother, because they are both female, or her father, because he is generally considered the protector? Tell me your thoughts :)

Comments 61

  • 8th Apr 2021 11:45am

No both my brothers and I are more closer with our mother then our father. My little one he is more closer to mum then dad

  • 19th Mar 2015 09:20pm

I think that this depends on the parenting overall. However, I have a 3yr old daughter, and I am in happy tears watching my daughter bond with her father and he does have this closeness with his other daughter.

Joh :)
  • 4th Feb 2015 08:17am

i think equally - i was a daddy's girl but some girls are daddy's girls but still very close to their mums in the girly department of shopping, boys etc

Joh :)
  • 4th Feb 2015 08:16am

i think equally - i was a daddy's girl but some girls are daddy's girls but still very close to their mums in the girly department of shopping, boys etc

  • 6th Oct 2014 01:01pm

It will change at various stages in life, and generally speaking, different needs will be met by each parent at different times. How 'close' a person is to their parents is very subjective: a parent may have a son and a daughter, who both say they feel close to their parent, but how that closeness is shown will be completely different.
What I have seen, particularly in relation to daughters, is this: girls who do not have a healthy level of closeness and intimacy with their dad, right from an early age, will look for that intimacy in other males, right from pre- and early-teen years. I don't know if there's a parallel for sons & mums.

  • 20th Sep 2014 05:28am

Girls are more closer to fathers as they can better understand the problems faced by them in life and also because daughters know fathers are the one will be resolving their problems

  • 14th Apr 2014 08:30am

i have 4 kids 3 boys and a girl.

i think about this sometimes but im not sure what my thoughts are. I think i have a closer bond with my daughter then my sons as we have things in common and relate to things more then with males.. the boys play with there dad alot..but when it comes down to things they all come to say mother daughter relationships are especially close but thats my view

  • 5th Apr 2014 02:50pm

My daughter is so much closer with her father than with me, as I'm the one who does all the disciplining, and although I do everything for her (take her to and pick her up from school, homework, feed her etc) she is still a lot closer to her father. We clash a lot as we are so much alike, and both driven, so we both want things our way.

  • 5th Jun 2013 07:27pm

for me a daughter is closer to her father because she can easily open up with him hesitations,no worries. a daughter is more confident in telling secrets to her father because men can keep secrets for a longer time than women. and if a daughter is in trouble,its dad they often call for a rescue.

  • 6th May 2013 10:57am

I think it depends on the personality of both parent and child. If the childs personality resembles that of the father then they probably get along better because they understand eachother and think alike.

  • 28th Apr 2013 06:23pm

My daughter has always been a daddys girl. It's interesting as we separated when she was a year old, and I have brought her up, she stays with her dad one day a week usually. My son (who was two when I separated) is definitely closer to me.

  • 27th Apr 2013 10:08pm

i have always been closer to my step father. my mother and i have never seen 'eye to eye'

  • 7th Apr 2013 01:06am

I think it depends on age more than gender. Apparently in general children are closer to their mother for the first few years, then during teenage years the role of the father becomes more significant. Obviously this is very unique to the child and parent, but is interesting as a general observation!

  • 31st Mar 2013 06:16pm

My daughter is closer to her dad, and my son is closer to me his mother. I don't know why it just happened like that. Now we have another girl coming in 5 weeks or earlier if i go into kabour before the due date, we'll see who she's closer to when she gets older.

  • 24th Oct 2012 02:17pm

ifeelandknow from experience that girls seem to be closer to dad my daughterwasshewould play usagainsteachother dad wouldtakeherpartitisusually jealousy mum mighgtbe taking to much attention away yet my son wasalways more inclined to want grandma iguess it was because iworked and mum babysat

  • 20th Apr 2012 08:04pm

I'm really close with my Dad and I was with my Grandad too. Ive got a great relationship with my daughter, though she listens to her Dad more. My son is just a little guy and is very much a mummys boy.

  • 20th Apr 2012 09:37am

i think there are certian stages in life where you feel closer to mum or dad. i know with my daughters they are daddy's little girls and my son is defently my little man! but i'm sure that will change as their needs change.

  • 19th Apr 2012 12:52pm

my daughter is a dads girl i dont know if its because i was always home with her when she was young

  • 3rd Apr 2012 03:24pm

i wouldnt call it unfair. because it depends on the child and who they feel ready to talk to first my daughter has autism and she loves her dad to sit and talk with and since i am a at home mum she has me around 24/7 and i dont feel she closer to me or her dad its just that dad is at work all the time and she just wants same time with her dad. sometimes its just best to sit back and watch dad and the kids play. on the other hand my son perfers to be with me. but thats only because dad wants him to do things with cars and bikes and sports. but he likes reading with mum

  • 22nd Mar 2012 06:31pm

I think it depends on each individual situation.

I'm the eldest of two, and my closeness varied. When I was a little kid I felt closer to dad - I was always a bit of a tomboy, and dad always wanted a son. As I got older, I became closer to my mum - she could answer questions dad never could, and I always felt easier talking to mum about certain problems/issues. Also, mum was always at home, which meant that we obviously spent more time with her, giving us a bigger chance to be closer to her than dad.

My younger sister however was always closer to mum. This was mainly because dad always ignored her or wouldn't spend as much time with her.

Like I said - I believe it varies per person and per family situation.

  • 17th Feb 2012 06:10am

I am the eldest and was always closer to my dad, even though he was the discipliner. But since having my kids I have been even closer to my mum. They live 7 hours away but she will make the trip up, whether she drives or flies, to come and spend time with the kids regularly. I appreciate her a heck of a lot more since starting my own family.

  • 9th Feb 2012 04:31pm


  • 12th Nov 2011 03:05pm

Hi jessica well in my expereience all children are different. And my daughter is both close to both myself and her dad.She wants mum when she is in trouble whith dad. And dad when she is in trouble whith mum

  • 20th Oct 2011 09:43am

My children (having both a girl and a boy )are both closer to me than thier father as being a stay a home mum they are with me all of the time. As babies they were both breastfed and couldn't express so hubby couldn't even do anynight feeds so i have done everything for them. I tend to take them everywhere and do all of the fun things like go to the park or visting grandparents! Our little girl likes to do things with her dad now that she is 3 but still comes to me if she is not well or hurts herself. And at the moment i think my little boy will always be a mummy's boy!!! But on the other hand I had a great relationship with both my parents as an older child, loved to go camping, mow the lawns, go woodcarting etc... with my dad but also loved to stay home with mum and sew, cook and get crafty.

  • 26th May 2011 12:56pm

I don't know if they can really be closer to one or the other. I know my son is close to me during hte day because we are always together but as soon as his dad comes home it's like i don't even exist. I know with some children they do rather being with the mum becasue they have a stronger bond but if the dad carried them they would have that bond to.

  • 16th May 2011 05:25pm

I've always been a 'daddy's girl'. My parents separated when I was a toddler, but apart from a couple of years as a teenager when I refused to speak to him, I've always been closer to my dad. And even when I wasn't speaking to my dad, I still wasn't very close with my mother. Some of that is because my mother tried to turn me against him, and therefore pushed me closer, but living my first 2 years with dad there, we were inseperable. I'm still very close to dad now, my daughter and I live with him, and I've found him to be a better support for my daughter and myself than my mother. but my daughter is a mummy's angel and Pa's sweetie, lolz.

  • 6th May 2011 12:45pm

Depends on your definition of closeness

  • 22nd Apr 2011 09:58pm

once my eldest daughter was able to shuffle around on her own, she became obsessed with her daddy. I always thought it was because time she spent with me involved more watching me clean the house, and quiet play, learning, teaching and giggles. Once my partner got home though, he would lift her up, chase her, spin her around, all the 'major rides' of a little ones life and it balanced out perfectly because when she wants a thrill, crazy fun moment, daddy is her favourite. but when it comes to putting her to sleep, feeding her, bathing her, I'm the only one she wants. If my partner does have a turn of feeding or bathing her etc, it always turns into a big mess because she thinks its a big game. Girls know what they want, and they get what they need. Whomever shes closest too, they've got what she's looking for. And because girls forever change their mind. They will eventually get bored, or simply tell you to step your game up.

  • 20th Apr 2011 05:44pm

I think that the daughter would be more inclined to the dad and the son to his mum at a young age. As they grow old, the daughter would grow close to her mum and son to his dad. I think this might be because when the children were young, they would want support from someone they know best, usually the same gender parent. After a few years, they start to want someone 'new', so they move to the opposite gender's parent.

  • 20th Apr 2011 08:50am

I am closer to my father than my mother as an adult. I see my mother for the type of person she really is and I don't like her. Is till love her though. When I was a kid my mother was my world. I did EVERYTHING with her.

I believe as children, they are closer to their primary care giver but have a need to be close to the secondary care giver. (eg: My boys turn to me first as it is almost always just us but when dad gets home, they follow him like a bad smell just hoping for some love and attention). As adults, children may love their parents equally but will be closer to the parent they have more in common with.

  • 19th Apr 2011 01:24pm

well i was always closer to my father, but my cousin she was closer to her mother. i think it depends of u really, what type of person u are. if your fun to be with etc they will want to be with you, but if your a grouch like me at times, my kids want to be with there father.

  • 18th Apr 2011 10:08pm

daughter always close to the dad

  • 18th Apr 2011 10:07pm

its good

  • 13th Apr 2011 03:20pm

I've got a daughter but she's closer to her Dad. She prefers her Dad more than me, maybe because she seldom gets disciplined by her Dad.

  • 8th Apr 2011 07:58am

Im an only child and growing up was really close to my mum. Then i married and had two children and moved to the South Island (NZ). My parents still live in the North Island and come and visit regularly. But now i find myself closer to my dad than my mum. When they visit, my mum never seems to enjoy herself and i feel she resents the fact that i moved her grandkids away from her. But im daddy's lil girl.

  • 6th Apr 2011 09:32pm

i have always been closer to my dad up until he passed. used to loook up to mum but she seems more intimidated by my independence these days and lacks the care factor towards me. My brother and sister onn the other hand are closer to mum

  • 2nd Apr 2011 12:43am

It's not as if I had much of a choice who I wanted to be closer with coming from a single parent family. I was naturally very very very close to mum, dad...lets not even go there!

  • 29th Mar 2011 12:36pm

well this all depends if there are court orders on the father then the answer is mum
if mum is a house mother then there is a 50 50 chance for either mum or dad
but if dad is at home heaps unemployed then it swings for the old man
and if mum is a grand money winner then it is for the money not the respect
and in finishing
they all get to see her at an early stage and this is where it all starts

  • 28th Mar 2011 09:26am

I think it goes either way and really depends on the relationship that the dad or mum has with the daughter or son. If a certain parent genuinely cares than a child is more apt to be closer to that parent.

  • 18th Mar 2011 11:49am

I think that's a somewhat fair statement. Although I have found from my own childhood and watching my children little ladies are often closer to Dad when they are little.
Then as the little ladies start becoming yound ladies they tend to become closer to their Mum's because Mum understands their girl problems. Not always the case but more often than not.
I have also found that boys are the opposite. Little men are closer to their Mum's when little and then Dad as they become young men.

  • 15th Mar 2011 07:42pm

my daughter is a dadys girl as soon as he gets home from work she follows him around everywhere!

  • 3rd Jun 2014 10:36pm
my daughter is a dadys girl as soon as he gets home from work she follows him around everywhere!

I close to both

  • 14th Mar 2011 07:19pm

I do think this is so for most people but my older brother was closer to mum.
I think that was because dad was to busy for us at times. I think we all go where we fell more love

  • 4th Mar 2011 10:47am

I believe there are two energy's in the world ... male and female ... with this in mind, ... a little girl is born with female energy and requires male energy so it seems that little girls are closer to their dads and the same applies to males. A baby boy is born with male energy and requires female energy to flourish and grow so it seems that baby boys are closer to their mothers. This is all until they are able to obtain / learn to get the energy they require, from other sources as they grow. This would indicate why, as little girls get older they start becoming closer to their mums and little boys get closer to their dads as they grow from little boys into men.

  • 22nd Feb 2011 07:51am

Im a daddys girl for sure but hearing that until i was two years old my dad had never picked me up and cuddled me or just held me.... i dont know why maybe because he was shocked i was a girl since my mum and my dad expected a boy up to the time of my birth... maybe he was disappointed... but i still love him... i bond with my mum but not as much as my dad... hes a softy far from a protector .. its just i find im more like him then my mum... personality wise and appearance.... he favours me more than my other two siblings and hes the best dad ever!

  • 20th Feb 2011 01:11pm

i feel like i'm closer with my girls then my own mum..only since i've become a parent have i noticed this. my son on the other hand just prefers his stepdad for rough play & major protector....

  • 20th Feb 2011 08:42am

From all i have observed in life, I would say that boys are generally closer to their mother and girls are closer to their father. When I think about it, it makes some sense. We learn about the opposite gender first in the home, and maybe its just natural biological survival to gain a better understanding of what to look for in a future mate. Girls typically look for a guy just like dad, and boys look for someone just like mom. Of course, we all know that that is not always the best idea...
~just my opinion---sooooo not a professional :)

  • 1st Feb 2011 05:49pm

Hi Jessica! in my case ever since i had carried my only daughter who is the youngest of four she has always been close to her dad and her brothers are mummy's boys you can guarantee thou when they are sick everyone is looking for Mummy to comfort yeah.

  • 25th Jan 2011 11:15pm

Interesting topic and one I hadn't given much thought to until now. I am from a family of females and must say I was very close to my dad (though I lost him many years ago). I think because I have so many females (sisters, female cousins, aunts and I have daughters and nieces) in my life my dad the only male really interested me. I liked to "hang out" with him and would follow him about (even when I was in my twenties). I thought he was wise and kind and though my mum was a great mum I think I was closer to dad. I am a grand mother now of 3 little boys and watch them with their mothers (my daughters) and it is fascinating how close they are to their mothers and I am over joyed with fact that we have grandsons!. Is it because opposites attrack?

  • 8th Jan 2011 10:55pm

I believe that every child is different depending on their personality. Some people get along better with their mothers and some better with their fathers. Just like how some people get along better with their brother instead their sister or vice versa, same goes with uncles and aunties, grandparents, cousins and so on. Whether its opposites attract or common similarities that brings people together its hard to predict and even harder to change but can evolve into a lifelong bond.

  • 2nd Dec 2010 07:23am

In my thoughts daughters are closer to dad when they need or want something, as a general rule dad see less of his child due to work so therefore giving into her. However when a daughter is sick and or tired she is mums little girl. As a daughter and a mother of a daughter this is my experiance.

  • 23rd Nov 2010 09:10am

generally closer to father because mother is usually the diciplinarian and the one to say no about going out midweek, staying out too late and wearing inappropriat clothing for age.

  • 23rd Sep 2010 01:35pm

i think it has nothing to do with that. i believe its who puts in the most. My son is closer to me because i do everything. i feed him, clothe him, get up to him of a nite, take him places. While i'm still with his father so he's around but he doest do anything with him

  • 19th Mar 2015 09:22pm
i think it has nothing to do with that. i believe its who puts in the most. My son is closer to me because i do everything. i feed him, clothe him, get up to him of a nite, take him places. While...

This is fair.

  • 28th Oct 2010 12:37pm
i think it has nothing to do with that. i believe its who puts in the most. My son is closer to me because i do everything. i feed him, clothe him, get up to him of a nite, take him places. While...

My both kids boy and girl are very close to me as were the father comes home and mum has already done everything with the kids. I take them everywere.

  • 3rd Jul 2010 03:18pm

noo,,,i have the boys and thats the way i like it,, boys are so with the mother and the girls belong with their daddy. I would say that is why my husband is begging me for a girl..

  • 3rd Jul 2010 07:24am

I've always been closer to Mum because she's always understood what was happening in life. I'd ring home and if Dad answered I'd try to talk to him and his words were always 'I'll go get your mother'. Not that he didn't try, I think he sometimes just didn't understand. Mum would explain it to him later. I love them both dearly, but when trouble arose, I know I always call Mum!

  • 31st May 2010 06:34pm

i think it is fair to say daughters are closer to there mothers,i love my daughter dearly,but if a problem arises she always talks about it with mum.then mum gives me the details.girls are old adage is_a daughter is a daughter all of her life.
a sons a son till he meets a wife.
women have power

  • 29th May 2010 03:03pm

I was always closer to my mother! she did everything for us kids!

  • 28th Apr 2010 03:12pm

I am an only child (female) and am and was equally close to both my parents. My 22 year old daughter is much closer to her Dad than me. As the third child after 15 years to her 2 brothers she really is Daddy's little girl. I am quite fine with that. I feel that I am closer to my sons than their father is to them.

  • 25th Feb 2010 10:14pm

Hi Jessica
I have always looked up to my dad and have been closer to him than my mum. I am also the oldest child in the family so not sure if this may have something to do with it.
My sister on the other hand has always been close to my mum and she is a middle child.
Maybe it depends on the child

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