Society & Culture

Do you consider yourself selfless or selfish?

Society & Culture

Posted by: Rainbow

17th May 2012 10:40am

If you aren't a selfless person, is it simply because you can't be bothered? Does selflessness actually get you anywhere in life anyway? And if you are concerned about it, how do we stop society turning into a selfish pit? Has modern technology and the lack of personal contact turned us into a ME society? Would you put yourself out for someone if it meant inconveniencing yourself? Do you think it is simply a matter of good manners or does it go deeper than that?

Comments 340

sriyam
  • 30th Mar 2016 12:24am

No one is selfless ....these days people have become self oriented..less sensitive...

Sweetness
  • 16th Mar 2016 03:09pm

Know i dont but these people that come into our country should live the Ausraliain way and dress the Australian way ,This is a great country if mingrants come here should be deliged to be the way we are not all tnat horrible dress and they should speek English i sat in a resturent yexterday these couple was so load talking in ghere langge drezdful they should speek english .

jules06
  • 15th Mar 2016 09:17pm

I am a totally selfless person. It is definitely a big part of my character. It is a disadvantage because I am used by the selfish those who want to take for themselves anything they can. I will offer to go right out of my way without a moments thought. If I see a need any need big or small I will fulfill it. I will go without in order to make someone else's life more comfortable. All my life I would see my mum take the smallest plate of food if there wasn't enough to go around. Or if there was a chip in a cup or plate she would make sure she was the one to eat or drink from the chipped crockery. If there was burnt food she would give the best bits to everyone else and eat the burnt bits herself. I watched her do this and when I have people for coffee or a meal I see myself do exactly the same. I have learned from my mum but there is an image extremely genourous core. I am always thinking of others. I have no real friends because I always am the one who is selfless and the giver so when the 1friend I have needs something she will contact me, but if there's no needs then I can sit at home alone for weeks without a pH call, or txt or email. Absolutely no contact whatsoever. I lead a very lonely life because of my selflessness and the people I attract in my life. Then if I honestly need help as I do now day to day after having a major accident I will still suffer the pain and do my best to help people even as I struggle with my disabilities but can never feel I have anyone to ask for help myself. In fact there is no one. So being selfless has huge negative personal effects on my life. Helping others is what I live for. I love to be able to go the extra mile to help a friend or a stranger. But it truly does place me into a very lonely life with no-one to help me with the many things I can no longer manage with the use of only 1hand & serious low back & hip damage. I wish I could be a selfish person and get what I need in life by using the resources everyone else has to offer.

olga
  • 24th Feb 2016 11:16pm

I would like to be bothered for anyone who needs anything and I am able to help. No matter when or how specially for my family and close friends. It doesn't necesary to spend money, just a bit of effort to smile, shake hands, hugs, a phone call away. I learn skils as much as I teach from others values, beliefs,

frannymanny
  • 23rd Feb 2016 10:41pm

I think that when you are fortunate enough to be part of supportive and big hearted communities giving and edifying others is a part of daily life. Giving of time, attention, daily necessities and friendship feels good and leads to receiving the same.

jen32
  • 14th Feb 2016 12:38am

I am both

chickenman
  • 17th Dec 2015 08:54pm

goes a lot deeper than good manners. the world is made up of PEOPLE and each of us is just ONE of those millions. without the other people in the world we are totally alone. why be mean or nasty to the rest of civilization? it is the millions that make our world and give us what we have. not just the people we know and associate with.

Jodie32
  • 18th Sep 2015 07:55pm

I have to totally agree with you. It really is a ME world and things seem to come to easily and is too expected by some. Abit sad isn't it.

Anonymous
  • 15th Sep 2015 12:52pm

It doesn't hurt to be a compassionate caring person, it doesn't mean your a "weak" individual it just means you have legitimate concerns for your fellow persons and your planet!

heeleen
  • 26th Aug 2015 11:07am

more people today think of nothing but themselves and what they want, sad, I like to think I am a kind person who would help when needed, a lot of it is good manners, which alas a lot of people are not being brought up to have these days, a lack of respect for everything is also to blame, I was coming out of a shop today and I saw an elderly man coming towards me so I stood there and waited and held the door open for him, he just brushed past me without so much as a thank you or a nod it was like I was not even there.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2015 12:02pm

i believe being selfless is much better that being selfish because being selfish does not get you anywhere. you will not have my friends and the few you have will know what you are and will have little or nor contact with you.

pothum
  • 18th Aug 2015 08:20pm

A bit selfless but every now and then I get selfish and require just me time. Feel bad but can't keep on giving all the time.

Huk
  • 30th Jul 2015 06:32pm

Selfless

Anonymous
  • 27th Jul 2015 11:11pm

I remember in school we were given a newspaper article suggesting "our youth is one of the most narcissistic generation" however, this was justified with kids being over spoilt and taking selfies. But I wonder of this may just be the result of a strong case of self-love and nurture. A virtue which was abandoned by previous generations, including so many diagnosed and affected by things like depression and suicide. Sometimes, being what others view as "selfish" is good for you. I think it's just about having a healthy balance.

Trippa
  • 9th Jul 2015 03:00am

Regardless of how much it may inconvenience me, I'd always put myself out just t help out someone in need. I think everyone can be selfless while at the same time being selfish. Chivelry has become a means to self gain, along with all 'good deeds'. It's not till you have lost everything and the kindness of others is what gets you back in your feet, do you realize what it means to be truly humble and selfless

Ashar
  • 7th Jul 2015 04:40pm

I'm not selfish at all, way too generous and kind hearted. Self obsession with many people is prevalent Western society, the advent of smart phones and other needless technology has made people think they are successful and a somebody.

Hazie
  • 3rd Jul 2015 03:39pm

Like a wise person said, be the change you want to see in the world. Keep on giving, help and be selfless. Those close to you will be advantaged first, then the people you help, then they will pay it forward to their close ones. How do we stop society from becoming selfless? Experience the world more, look up, smell the roses, smile. If it bother you to help, or do an act of random kindness, you're just going to feel obligated to be 'selfless'. Otherwise it'll be a part of your nature. (By you, I mean external, general you). However, don't be afraid to say no at times. Give what you can :)

Anonymous
  • 3rd Jul 2015 02:47pm

I consider myself selfish

EileenW1
  • 3rd Jul 2015 09:29am

How shallow and unsatisfactory a person's life must be if they only live for themselves and their own immediate family. I have made so many wonderful friends, many of whom I may never actually meet in person, through working voluntarily for numerous organisations, supporting several important causes and even establishing my own little charity to make life a bit brighter for impoverished children in another country.
I am never bored, always busy, always have somewhere to go, people to talk to either in person or online and the joy I see on the faces of my little children when I can afford to visit them with gifts, clothing or books makes my own life worthwhile. If we do not make a positive difference that what is the purpose of our life?

jacquiSmith91
  • 24th Jun 2015 02:43pm

I'm a selfless person.. I always help others before myself, for past year and half I have mad no money at all, even tho I have worked my arse off for Free,
Because I don't get Centrelink help being a kiwi, I have been looking after a elderly couple for past year, doing their housework, clearing property of overgrown trees n weeds, constantly improving lives around Me... But pity I don't get same gratitude back.. There own grown kids don't really care about them.. I do and always care too much. I wish I had a income or some monies come my way. But alas, I feel used and abused. What to do? Cant leave have no money, can't do anything to improve my own life. Constant resumes sent out- reply back say I don't qualify for job, heck I've upskilled n there's still nothing. Society is letting me Down.

browne
  • 19th Jun 2015 03:34pm

I naturaly think about the next person im not saying im a saint but it makes me feel good doing something for peole whether I now them or not

chickenman
  • 18th Jun 2015 05:20pm

other people are the only reason we are still alive. some people get a kick out of taking what they can from others and feel big if they can deprive others of what they don't have. when all said and done; it is only the "other people" that provide not only what we want, but also what we can desire. selfishness only builds the ego of those already in the gutter. the descent people in the world do not need to "show" others how big and powerful they are. they can survive and be happy with who and what they are.

Anonymous
  • 18th Jun 2015 03:37pm

To see what is going on in society, you need to put down your phone, tablet, laptop or whatever the latest gadget is. I have been guilty of doing this. By nature I like to help people and have done this face to face and over the phone. I have found that by doing this in person where you can see a real person react means so much more than get a smiley face at the end of a sentence. (and a abbreviated sentence at that). To be selfless means you are watching, listening but to be selfness does not necessarily mean that it will not get you anywhere in life. Good manners goes along way but to look more deeper means you get a better understanding. To ask questions means you get an understanding.

Anonymous
  • 17th Jun 2015 10:21am

I think be strongly aware of manipulation in all forms.

Anonymous
  • 15th Jun 2015 09:14am

I belive I have a kind heart

MrsPohara
  • 6th Jun 2015 04:35pm

I consider myself as selfless, but sometimes I wish I was a bit more assertive and could say no to people.

Anonymous
  • 4th Jun 2015 08:16pm

Everyone is selfish, because people they do things that are on their interests. That's not necessarily a bad thing

Anonymous
  • 18th May 2015 05:48pm

i am a bit of both i always like to help people ,but if i am traveling to work and see an accident i most probaly wont stop

pothum
  • 26th Apr 2015 07:08pm

I am sure if I was to get a bit selfish then I would get more done at home.

Bizka
  • 22nd Apr 2015 09:59am

I am extremely selfless.....Probably too much!! I always put others first before myself. I guess it may come from being a mother.

Anonymous
  • 22nd Apr 2015 09:16am

i think of other people before myself...its just my nature

YoGabbaGabba
  • 11th Apr 2015 02:21pm

Female and a mother, so tend on the selfless side. I need to learn to be a little more selfish, but it is not really in my nature. People these days do seem more selfish. Less concern for others, push shove, no common courtesies like walking to the left or right of the footpath (depending on country). How do we stop it? Good question, but I am not sure I have the answer. I have taught my children to have manners. I think that manners basic please and thank you, acknowledgement of help, assistance rather than an expectation is a tiny part of it. My thoughts anyway.

josh13
  • 27th Mar 2015 06:09pm

i seem to give people a better deal then useally what i receive

Rach
  • 23rd Mar 2015 12:24pm

I agree 100%, we are producing a generation who are predominantly all about themselves and rarely stop & think how their words or actions effect others around them. As long as they are happy, that's all that matters. They don't allow themselves to feel the amazing and satisfying rush one gets when helping others and seeing how positive influence and actions can have such an impact on another persons life. And if one actually does help another out, they expect and almost demand something in return (I take joy in reciting the words to the song 'what about me, it isn't fair...' to my children) or a 'public display of appreciation' or nation wide gratification! Social media is one of the contributors to this issue, but is also a major social issue in itself. It not only contributes to a selfish mentality and a culture that no longer feels confidentiality and privacy is at all a part of ones display of integrity, but also contributes to a generation who don't know how to communicate effectively. No longer are they able to read body language & emotional cues when interacting with others outside of a screen. Language & literacy skills are slowly diminishing. Recently, one of my children was displaying her typically comedic behaviour, which always amuses the family and my 14 year old verbally responded 'LOL' ... what happened to a good old fashioned 'belly laugh' Having a really genuine chuckle naturally activates all the 'feel good' endorphin's in the body... no wonder social health issues such as anxiety & depression are on the rise! No one takes the time to have a laugh, even at themselves ! The wide spread use of 'Screen technology' has caused one on one interaction and verbal communication methods to become almost obsolete. Many lack awareness of recognizing, reading or reacting appropriately to verbal communication. This has become an entire social issue of concern in itself ! Be happy people, do something for someone other than yourself ... it is an extremely effective alternative to anti anxiety medication! If your having a bad day, always remember there is a new one filled with new experiences around the corner. If your feeling down, read the news and realise how lucky you are in comparison to others. People need to stop blaming all the influences they allow in their life for their own behaviour & issues and realise that only they can control their own destiny, that only YOU can change what happens in your life. Try believing in the theory of the 'Self Fulfilling Prophecy' .... you become what you think ! If you believe your life is bad is will just keep being that way !

Anonymous
  • 2nd Mar 2015 05:58pm

Try to be nice and look out for others

chickenman
  • 27th Feb 2015 09:50pm

we are all in this world together and therefore need to look out for and support fellow people. the alternative is to be a self centered recluse. i like to believe i am selfless ( at least to a point )

chickenman
  • 27th Feb 2015 09:50pm

we are all in this world together and therefore need to look out for and support fellow people. the alternative is to be a self centered recluse. i like to believe i am selfless ( at least to a point )

Anonymous
  • 16th Feb 2015 07:54pm

Selfless.

Donzie
  • 16th Feb 2015 12:02pm

I do consider myself to be selfless. I think when you have a baby you lose all selfishness you ever had! But in general I give of myself and my resources to help others, without counting the cost. I'm a Christian so it does come naturally, but it also makes you feel good to think of others. Yes, it might inconvenience me, but if it helps someone out, then it's worth it

Ashar
  • 22nd Dec 2014 09:28pm

Neither selfless nor selfish. I am way too generous. The trend nowadays to try to attract fame is discouraging. There is little concern for humanity.

gero
  • 22nd Dec 2014 09:04am

I consider myself to be selfless

Freedomy
  • 14th Dec 2014 05:22pm

Oh what a question. Oh when we talk about a good old munch, I am greedy and selfish, in fact so much as look like you would want to share my food and we could become enemies. When we are talking about knowledge I am greedy and selfish, pick me I have a question, I know there are so many others that do to, but I am so into your subject matter, I just need you to tell me about what I need to know. I get excited and pushy and then I become aware of it and self talk about this behaviour and then I forget and get excited again and repeat the last steps. I get on to me and pull myself up but I never remember.

When it comes to community, others, less fortunate, I have the patience like I have seen on no other and do consider myself selfless. And this has such a therapeutic affect and kick backs for my own good self.

Sharing of information, I take great care about handing over information, just in case other people take it on (even though I am not responsible for their actions). I find this sharing of information absolutely crucial to growth. So selfless.

And while cookies are food and we have discussed this matter, cookies are another favourite of mine. I wont even let crumbs escape me. And I am probably a closet eater and proud of this. But if you do see me eating cookies stay away because I am like a dog with a bone. In fact one could say I am so selfish with cookies that as soon as I bite into them, nobody else exists. I have always wondered if I was the Cooky Monsters love child?

Leelita
  • 5th Jul 2012 12:52pm

Its how your brought up! And its also how you feel about yourself, if you hate yourself then why bother being nice to anyone. You got to love yourself and love life. having a beliief in Jesus helps.

mmcdon
  • 25th Jun 2012 09:28pm

I probably am a bit selfish, I will happily help anyone when I can, If I think they would return the compliment but if they are the sort to just wait for the next hand out and not help others then I think anyone who tries is in for trouble there.

Butterfly
  • 24th Jun 2012 07:13pm

I am neither selfish nor selfless. To me, selfless means there is no self, and selfish means hurting others through inconsideration of another as a person. I don't think it is selfish to love and look after yourself. I don't think it's healthy to put another first, at the exclusion of your own needs. My guiding principles in life are: love yourself so that you are truly able to love others; treat others as you would have them treat you; be true to yourself and encourage the same in others.

Having said that, I often go out of my way to be sensitive to others' needs, and I am happy to help someone in genuine need. That's not selfless: that's caring.

I would consider myself a caring person which means I care about myself and others.

RWOLR8?
  • 24th Jun 2012 02:55pm

If money was never an issue many of us would give and share and help unconditionally, right? . Sometimes I simply can t afford my own values.I love making presents and even more receiving them, but for many people times are tough for those little surprise parcels and gifts; sadly our wallet controls a bit of our natural spontaneous sense of generosity. Ok but being thoughtful or pleasant or kind, helpful, just taking the extra minute or going the extra mile, sharing a tip, giving a trick,,, having a selfless move has millions of different ways that are free, no need to be religious to know this. I think there always was a ME society because there always were ME ME people. Surely as humans we have many Rights and still not enough but also we have some Must dos and not necessarily hard or costly or time consuming. But I gather most cafe chatters are good sharers already so how do we sensibilise everyone else?

coversharvey
  • 23rd Jun 2012 03:58pm

The majority of Human beings are selfless, the minority that are selfish are not very nice people to know

Yankeedoodle
  • 23rd Jun 2012 09:15am

To me if you are not a selfless person you will not get anywhere in life. I am old fashion and was brought up to respect your elders and to always help if possible when someone is in need. I don't have the answer to stop society from becoming a selfish pit so I can only continue to do what I do on a daily basis. If I can make at least one person smile a day I have a good day and I have more good days than bad. To me good manners have gone out the window. I rarely hear people say please or thank you and when you greet someone you don't know they look at you like you have six heads.

Magus
  • 22nd Jun 2012 09:57pm

Selfless or selfish, sometimes in some circumstances you need to do both! Selfish for self preservation and selfless at most other times. What goes around comes around and where possible selfless is the best.

Mils
  • 22nd Jun 2012 05:16pm

If you are a selfless person you help people because you care not because you expect some kind of reward or recognition....My husband tells me all the time that I am too nice and should learn to say no to people, but I guess I am who I am and will help anyone with anything....its how I was brought up my mum always said that you should treat people the way you wanted to be treated.....

jjdrer
  • 22nd Jun 2012 01:52pm

There is probably a bit of both in me as in fact there is in most people though we may not be aware of it.
I enjoy helping others when I can and don't mind being asked to do so. I also volunteer on occasions if I think I may be of assistance.

I have to admit that I do like my own space at times so I can do what I like when I want to as the saying goes---like enjoy reading a book or taking a "nanny nap" undisturbed occasionally., especially during cold wet weather or during heatwaves.

zedwoman
  • 22nd Jun 2012 01:45pm

I would like to believe that everyone likes to help someone. The problem is that they fear being sued in this day and age. Our country leaders don't even lead by example. They give themselves a pay rise but what about the poor pensioner. It it a subject that can branch off into a variety of subjects and believes. At least you can do is give someone a smile that has less chance of trouble.

zedwoman
  • 22nd Jun 2012 01:45pm

I would like to believe that everyone likes to help someone. The problem is that they fear being sued in this day and age. Our country leaders don't even lead by example. They give themselves a pay rise but what about the poor pensioner. It it a subject that can branch off into a variety of subjects and believes. At least you can do is give someone a smile that has less chance of trouble.

Maggie
  • 22nd Jun 2012 11:02am

Basically, I'm a sefless person - I think of others before I think of myself. It's the way I was brought up, and a way I respect, rather than the ME FIRST tendency that is so prevalent today, particularly in the younger generations.

Gerry1945
  • 22nd Jun 2012 10:43am

I have always been a GIVER and not a TAKER many people always expect to get paid to do something to help a friend. I do community work telephoning at risk people to see how they are coping as an unpaid thing to do. I will always help family and friends in need. I am always happy, never bored and that helps highly with self esteem and pride with my life.

di
  • 22nd Jun 2012 08:52am

I think we are all a bit selfish but the majority of people do put themselves out to a certain extent to help others. I think we have turned into a society that is extremely rude due to technology, I see people talking on their mobile phones whilst being served at supermarkets etc., there is no conversation with the person serving them, they just get the money shoved to them, no hello how are you, people too busy having a stupid conversation on the phone about what type of bread they want, yes society and young ones are extremely rude, inconsiderate and have very little respect for anybody else.

Kat82
  • 22nd Jun 2012 08:51am

I consider my self, selfless because I always put my kids and husband first.

kreative
  • 22nd Jun 2012 08:44am

depends on the circumstances, I can be both. I am basically a caring person - care too much but at times I can be selfish too. I am a compassionate person - if the other person is hurting, I will hurt with them.

Overall, I do believe we are a selfish society and miss the selflessness of days gone by. I think we are becoming more selfish as time goes on and working in a daycare centre, I see the way we are raising the children, in ten years, we will reap what we sow. A very scary generation is coming.

annie
  • 22nd Jun 2012 08:19am

I think I am a person that people can rely on to give a hand and help out whenever there is a problem.I have tried to teach my children to respect other people and to lend a hand when ever they can

jules 1
  • 22nd Jun 2012 07:20am

I guess I can be a bit of both sometimes. I suppose it depends on what has happened. I do prefer to give more than receive (which I do - give)
I do think the world has changed in the last 10 - 15 years, and people do tend to 'keep themselves to themselves more'.
So much crime etc these days, I think people don't have the faith in each other as they use to do.!

Anonymous
  • 22nd Jun 2012 04:22am

i give as good as i get, but every now and then i take a risk and give more than someone might deserve as i realise i have not been perfect

Caz67
  • 21st Jun 2012 11:39pm

Hi dear


if you treat people the way you want to be treated you find 99% of people will treat you the same way.If want to say nasty things things about someone you say say it it to their face first then that way if you are talking to someone and it happens to slip out and tell that person at least that person can say yes they told me themselves/ to my face then they are not hearing it second hand.It still doesnt make it right by telling someone else though.Its not the done thing but if you say something nice about someone thats great.It doesnt matter who hears it as long as you mean it.Have a great day and many more to come.xx

Caz67
  • 21st Jun 2012 11:38pm

Hi dear


if you treat people the way you want to be treated you find 99% of people will treat you the same way.If want to say nasty things things about someone you say say it it to their face first then that way if you are talking to someone and it happens to slip out and tell that person at least that person can say yes they told me themselves/ to my face then they are not hearing it second hand.It still doesnt make it right by telling someone else though.Its not the done thing but if you say something nice about someone thats great.It doesnt matter who hears it as long as you mean it.Have a great day and many more to come.xx

mossie
  • 21st Jun 2012 10:08pm

I volunteer 2 days a week at an emergency relief center, I do it because I love helping people who are in need.

wrighty
  • 21st Jun 2012 09:45pm

personally i like to help people if needed.. done lots playgroup committees etc coached junior footy, cricket , basketball sold a million raffle tickets for our footy club give plasma every 2 weeks won 20 grand one nite while sellin raffle tickets and i believe that was good karms for all i've done selflessness will get you nothing but misery!!

Deb
  • 21st Jun 2012 09:29pm

i would put my self out for someone i always have if someone needs help im there for them,alot of people are very selfish these days,i think society has alot to do with it,the sad thing is i dont think we can do anything to stop it happening,people are to worried bout their owns lives and what people think.in this day and age most times we dont even know our neighbors which is sad,

Jodiddleo
  • 21st Jun 2012 08:43pm

No, I know I'm not selfish. My Dad taught me if I have money then you have money, it's all about sharing. spreading the love.

Susie
  • 21st Jun 2012 08:13pm

I would prefer to help someone out but it appears that there is more self-centre people out there these days. It may be because of the drive to achieve in society.

mirec
  • 21st Jun 2012 08:11pm

I dont think that i am selfish as i often do things to help other people. I do sometimes go out and buy myself something to cheer me up but most of the time I will buy something for our house and thats not just for me, its for my family.

mirec
  • 21st Jun 2012 08:08pm

I don't consider myself selfish. As i have a family I tend to do and buy things for them. I will buy things for me to sometimes cheer myself up but most of the time I will buy things for the house that we all end up enjoying. Selfishness is when people only think of themselves and lucky I'm not one of these as i will do things for other people and put myslef out for them. Its not only having good manners as sometimes selfish people do have good manners. My mother is the most unselfish person I know as she never will do anything for herself and always thinks of her family first and will almost do anything to make them happy. I wish that she would do more for herself and not be so unselfish.

mare
  • 21st Jun 2012 08:01pm

I consider myself selfless - what you give out you get back - so it is a give and take attidude where everyone gains and no-one loses...:)

Jezemeg8
  • 21st Jun 2012 07:56pm

I love helping others, but I've learned to say NO at times too. It's sad that those of us who enjoy helping are often at risk of being used to suit another's agenda, becoming trapped as a perpetual volunteer often neglecting one's own needs etc.

I used to be that sort of person before illness and disability caused me to re-evaluate whether I was actually 'volunteering' or 'fulfilling another's agenda', so now I only do those things that I truly enjoy. Does that make me selfless or selfish, I guess it depends on whose agenda I'm not meeting. God bless.

purplecarol
  • 8th Jun 2012 02:29pm

I think I can be both, depends on the situation.

grozzledock
  • 24th May 2012 08:16pm

i am a selfless person, simply because i just dont have time, but lately i have started to try to be not so selfish and help others and think if i help others hopefully if i ever need help they would be there for me too and it has started to pay off...
just down the road another families son goes to the same school and we have started a car pool and if one of us cant make it that day we just asked the other one to drop or pick them off...
It goes deeper then that being if you put yourself out would they do it for you??
well that is my thought and my thought with my friends is yes...

sometimes i dont like it but i fell good about it once i have dont the job or thing i needed to do...
since i have been getting out with friends for ladies nights and stuff, i find it alot easier...or also maybe i dont want to inconvenience my family not me hmmm thats a thought....

Jenny
  • 23rd May 2012 10:51pm

I would definitely put myself out of help someone even if it meant inconveniencing myself. There is just not enough people who will do this, they are either too busy or just can't be bothered. To these people I say Think, it may be you that needs help or assistance somewhere along the line, even if it is when you get older.
I also agree with others who say technology is spoiling personal contact, some feel that it is just as easy to pick up the phone or send a text rather than pop over, if only it is for ten minutes.
When I was little I was taught manners, but the children of today I believe have not been taught how to say sorry, or excuse me, or even a smile. A smile is worth a lot.

angelbits
  • 23rd May 2012 09:03pm

i was taught from a child to always be selfless as there is always someone worse off than u. i do believe this world has become selfish as technology has progressed but thats life. if u let urself be like the rest of the world then ur no better than them(selfish people). i will put myself out for other people but dont expect a thank you anymore apparently its too much to ask. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-(
also technology is great for sicknesses and people with disabilitys so instead of thinking in a negative way,try to thing of it thru different colour glasses.

hornto
  • 23rd May 2012 07:16pm

selfless..

Coastgirl2
  • 22nd May 2012 05:56pm

I think there are a lot of selfish people these days, only thinking of themselves. I guess it depends how you were brought up.

funny72
  • 22nd May 2012 04:38pm

i think the majority of people are selfish these days you cannot feel good about yourself if you dont give to others not money ,anything in general

killy
  • 21st May 2012 10:18pm

I consider myself selfless. I would rather other people that I love be happy and safe, they always come first, and I come second. I always think of others before myself.

dinky
  • 21st May 2012 08:34pm

I have been a selfless person for most of my life.I used to get great enjoyment in this untill early last year when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy and reconstruction.All of a sudden it occured to me that the majority of people did not appreciate the fact that I was willing to put myself out for them.I am now a bit of both,you could say.I am selfless when it comes to my family and friends but not to a lot of other people.It is not because I couldn't be bothered but because it is not appreciated.I am in my late 50's and the time just arrived that it was time for me.So I think that it is not just a matter of manners and I really think that it comes back to the recipient of your selflessness as to how it is recieved and percieved

pothum
  • 21st May 2012 07:14pm

I don't consider myself selfish - I volunteer my time to two organisations that help other people. I go out of my way to help others less fortunate but even I must admit there are times when all I want to do is stay home and get my house in order. If that makes me selfish then I am also that. In everyone's busy life there comes a time when you have to take care of your own house. Today you often hear people say "I can't volunteer I don't have the time" - well you have to be accountable sometime, and make time.

heeleen
  • 21st May 2012 01:20pm

I dont consider myself selfless but if I saw that someone really needed help I would put myself out to help them , especiall if they were family or close friends, but also if they were just in need. I also dont consider myself selfish but really I think everybody does need to be a little bit selfish sometimes. Life would be boreing if you werent sometimes.

hamish
  • 21st May 2012 01:02pm

happy

gnome
  • 21st May 2012 10:24am

I think that I am selfless and endeavour to work for others in the community especially the Veteran community. As we progress in the future of technology we find ourselves less involved in real life, with many spending too much time on the likes of facebook and twitter. Remember when we did not have all these gadgets we used to actually play games and go and visit other people, and you actually said hello to people on the street, life is short so make it fun by assisting others you may even enjoy it.

Richard
  • 21st May 2012 07:15am

Selfishness is based on an incorrect assumption that we are the egoistic 'me' that arises in the mind. Our true self is the consciousness that is the final observer of all that is seen in the physical and mental worlds. This observer can never be seen as it is it that is seeing. However, it can be recognised in other people and we learn to practice this and to care for others our world opens up in a delightful way.

Richard

goanna
  • 20th May 2012 09:02pm

Selfish people are all for themselves, not caring for others. One day they will have their downfall and hopefully wake up to themselves. I'm not selfish! Actually I have been told I am a very giving, kind person. In my opinion, society would be a better place if we cared for others.

diaooraa
  • 20th May 2012 08:07pm

I think you have to put in effort to truely be a nice, selfless person

TsarinaFai
  • 20th May 2012 05:12pm

I like to think that I'm a kind person. I've been told so too, but it's also important to remember not to become a doormat.

Gert
  • 20th May 2012 04:13pm

I always like to treat people how I would like them to treat me. A couple of sayings I like to remember is "What goes around comes around" and "what you sow, you reap".

gaygay55
  • 20th May 2012 03:10pm

My daughter tells me I am too kind for my own good. Yes I have been taken advantage of for this. I tried to instill in my daughter "Always treat people how you would like to be treated". Unfortunately there are too many people around now without scruples so now I trust my gut instinct and walk away from those person.

Nefertari
  • 20th May 2012 12:10pm

It was interesting reading all the other letters on here and I agree that selflessness is something acquired over the years. We are all to some extent a bit selfish but throughout life we tend to appreciate little acts of courtesy shown to us and try to do the same to others. I commend those who volunteer their time to help others and can fully understand what a good feeling that gives them, Too many people in the world today are so obsessed with themselves that they forget to spare a thought for others

Jan
  • 20th May 2012 11:54am

I like to help others, I can't afford a lot but I always gift to charties as there are people and animals so much in need. By giving and helping it makes you feel so good.

Andrewsgirl
  • 20th May 2012 06:51am

I consider myelf to be Selfless. I always put myself last in our family. I guess I always thought that was the right thing to do. I think that comes from ones upbringing. I don't think that you benefit in any way but it certainly shows that you have more manners than someone else.

koko
  • 19th May 2012 08:37pm

I think I'm not a selfish person, I'm happy to help others, but sometimes I'll put myself first, does it mean I'm selfish? it depends on how others think.

lyne
  • 19th May 2012 07:16pm

It definately goes deeper. To be selfless you need to care, to want to be there for the other person, to put them and their needs before your own. Our society is at risk of selfishness with "every man for himself" type of attitude. it is time for us to step up to the plate and "walk in the other person's shoes", determine to be a caring member of the community.

liaruso
  • 19th May 2012 06:47pm

I am selfless most of the time, always do for others before myself, except when I feel used, then I slowly back away.

alan 1
  • 19th May 2012 05:54pm

There is no point in being selfish, it is so nice to do an act of kindness. Sure pleases the other person who you were kind to, and you feel a sense of self gratification, "Life is too short" to be self centred. There are billions of human being out there,it is not just about you. I hope there are others, who think likewise, and give a little warmth to our society. "Make this world a better place to live in" "WE ARE ONE'

Alan

delilah
  • 19th May 2012 04:58pm

The main rule for my children has always been to "be kind your soul". For that they need to end each day happy about themselves and what they have done. If they are kind to others they may not always get what they want but they will have a happy soul. You never know what state your soul needs to be in later so the most you can do is be kind to it. I think that is selfish in its own way but it's a win win situation. I wish more people would think this way. I'm not sure it's technology that's the problem I just think people are too busy to teach their kids about others.

Mils
  • 19th May 2012 04:58pm

I think it depends on how you were brought up... as a child my parents always told me to behave towards others as I would like to be treated.....I always try to help people and be there for them but sometimes putting yourself out there can get you hurt..You also have to have a good heart and be caring...

Sue
  • 19th May 2012 04:23pm

I think I am selfless and try to be helpful to my family and friends. Also if I should see someone having some sort of difficulty, I do try and assist if I think it is necessary or helpful.

MJ21
  • 19th May 2012 03:59pm

I believe in Karma, so I believe that you have to be nice and selfless in order for it to return to you......

paulina
  • 19th May 2012 02:29pm

I think it is all of that and more.
I am selfless, and people walk all over you.
But that's them not me.

E T
  • 19th May 2012 01:14pm

Selfless

Pats
  • 19th May 2012 11:13am

Some of us perform selfless acts all the time, especially those of us who are parents.

brett
  • 19th May 2012 09:38am

bit of both depends on what is happening bu also do give a bit to charity and look after others so would be closer to selfless

ant022
  • 19th May 2012 09:35am

I treat people as I find them,do good and good will follow you, do bad and it will bite you in your bum!!.

Anonymous
  • 19th May 2012 09:26am

In my job I am constantly in contact with people and whilst this can be tiring as I am always giving a piece of myself I do enjoy it. So I guess I am selfless to the point that I suffer from tiredness

Groove50
  • 19th May 2012 08:18am

Unfortunately I think people are naturally selfish, and todays society doesn't encourage us not to be. I do my best not to be, because I was brought up with values and to show respect, but sadly many aren't taught this.

Nicci
  • 19th May 2012 07:43am

I think I'm selfless especially when it comes to friends and family.

Beachluva
  • 19th May 2012 07:18am

I think it goes further than that these days, there are too many hand outs and people start to expect it and say why can't I have the same as he/she is having, so then you can put it in the selfish basket.Younger people are going into debt wanting things that took our parents all their lives to get, SELFISH AGAIN crops up.Manners do not play a roll in selfishness, it is just if you can share or not.

sneakierbiscuit
  • 19th May 2012 04:02am

I battle against my tendency to selfishness. I think it's a weakness, a lack of character.

I believe that service (a term I prefer to selflessness) is the way to go. It is not mere manners. It is right to serve the other people around you, for its own sake. Of course, there are some "perks" to doing so... you can learn gratitude for your blessings, you can forget about being preoccupied with your own problems, you can make friendships or enjoy the work you do, you can get that "warm & fuzzy" feeling. That's great, but the innate worth of service is its own reason. I feel that we are called to love, and that service is an act of love.

And so, I put myself out for others if I can manage it even if it is inconvenient. I used to volunteer regularly, but not these days (unless giving fresh baked cupcakes to the neighbours counts!) With two small children at home, nearly all of my acts of service are toward my family. As they grow, I hope to introduce them to service for others through my example, and perhaps we can begin to do good works as a family.

Mat
  • 19th May 2012 12:00am

i consider myself to be selfless,thats a true character.

tonylovesotis
  • 18th May 2012 11:41pm

Unfortunately, I am a selfish person - particularly with my time. I like to spend most of my time by myself and find that devoting time to other people just saps my energy too much. Other than my time, I probably am quite selfless - I'm generous, never expect a favour to be returned, kind hearted and always think of others before myself. I think it is a matter of good manners and upbringing, but you also need to be inately a caring person.

sam
  • 18th May 2012 11:15pm

It makes the world a better place if we are little less selfish and polite to others.But there our people who take advantage of other peoples generosity which make people lose there trust and be bit selfish.I'm not a religious person but I like this bible saying "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

vrush
  • 18th May 2012 10:20pm

I am not completely selfish but not a freakingly selfless too. Not sure, if it gets you anywhere but it does give you piece of mind, a reassurance that you have done something good to someone unknown. We cannot stop anyone from being selfish but we can be selfless and try to act as ideals for them to follow us. Being selfless or helping others in distress might be good manners but I feel it is more about reaching out to others especially strangers. One act of kindness to get that good night sleep.

Saz18
  • 18th May 2012 09:52pm

All of my friends say i'm such a selfless person and that sometimes i need to be more selfish and put myself first. I think good manners is certainly part of it but for me it goes much deeper. i was always taught to treat others the way you would like to be treated so that how i approach life. I'm always the first person to help someone out and i'd much prefer to spend my money on my friends then myself.

petag
  • 18th May 2012 09:48pm

I don't know that I would describe myself as selfless but I would certainly put myself out to help a friend. Sometimes I feel that my husband takes advantage of my quiet nature. It is all about him and what he wants to do or buy. It doesn't feel like a partnership-it feels more like I'm his personal servant. He does what he wants when he wants and takes that as his right. I think that like most mothers I put my children's needs before my own.

rosema
  • 18th May 2012 09:46pm

sadly "Compassion " seems to have been lost
the fast lifestyle of todays world , the need to get somewhere fast, be it in Business or private results in timepoor people; children no longer learn at home to love,be kind to others,we have no time for those important ideals, I worry ,where will this lead us ?

Rev.Wal
  • 18th May 2012 09:45pm

I think it depends how you se yourself & your place in the world I have been a volunteer for many years helping where I can. I have Diabetes, Arthritis in my hips ,Knees & lower Back and a nerve problem in both hands. Many of my friends say I am a very selfless person but I do this for a selfish reason if I wasn't doing all this I would probably be a cripple by now & unable to do anything So I guess it's in the way we are viewed by others.

Captured
  • 18th May 2012 08:48pm

I call myself selfless, i almost always put others before myself; not only my family and friends, but also complete strangers. I was raised to be polite, always use my best manners and treat others how i would like to be treated myself. I am now trying my best to raise my 4 kids the same way.

I have often put others before myself, and yes, that did result in me missing out on things that i was really looking forward to.

The most selfish i get is when i tell my hubby that i really need some "me" time and he has to look after the kids for a while so i can have some time alone, or if i want to go out as a family... no friends or extended family with us.

Belanna
  • 18th May 2012 08:44pm

I think I am a selfish person - I am an older person, not married and don't want to be married. I like doing what I want when i want... I like going where i want without having to discuss where and when. Or to think about the other people (partner and kids) want.

ralphy
  • 18th May 2012 08:28pm

In my considered opinion you don't need any of this political correctness rubbish & all the legal paraphenalia that goes with it,everyone wants to be a victim & tell you all about it.These matters can be solved with GOOD MANNERS! which was the way I was brought up, it would would solve most break downs & enable the legal system to concentrate on catching criminals.

Anonymous
  • 18th May 2012 08:21pm

I am a selfless person, always willing to put myself out for others, expecially loved ones. Unfortunately, it seems most of my friends are not the same. I seem to attract people that love the quiality in me and utilise it to their utmost, but are never available to return the favour should I need help. Still, I will soldier on, as a world with helpful, selfless, considerate people in the mx is definately better than a world full of Me me me-ers

nette
  • 18th May 2012 07:17pm

We all know lack of personal contact can lead to becoming more self-involved (selfish) as people don't learn to socialise and learn giving to other skills. EVERYONE is born totally aware of only our own needs - feeding, comfort, etc, and are gradually taught by those around us how to give and receive and be more selfless (less selfish). I think as the world becomes more populated and competition for resources, jobs, and space become more critical, more people are becoming afraid and fearful for themselves and how they will survive, the Global Financial Crisis is giving many of us a taste of this. It causes many to become more protective of what they have or so busy tring to live they become depressed or find they only have enough energy to look after themselves let alone others and often this is seen as selfish. Mostly, I find people are only too happy to give when they can but I also understand that many who are considered selfish are simply trying to get by as well as they can.

MissHannah
  • 18th May 2012 06:58pm

I am a selfish person. Everyone is. To get anywhere in life, one needs to be a little selfish to keep them on track with hat they want. I help people when it is convenient but my first priority is me, since i have to live with myself. Technology is just what the older generation uses to blame all their problems on, selfishness has been around forever, and will be around forever.

Gussie
  • 18th May 2012 06:45pm

I find myself always helping others instead of doing my own thing.

Barb
  • 18th May 2012 06:37pm

I think we have definately lost something along the way. Unfortunately many things seem to encourage this loss.

rackster
  • 18th May 2012 05:59pm

When I do one thing to help someone each day, my day is a good one. The feeling of being of help in just a small way without wanting anything in return can keep you smiling for hours. The other day in the shops, a lady in front of me was 10 cents short, so I gave her the money, she was very grateful. To be of service in some small way each day can change your whole life.

Nell
  • 18th May 2012 04:31pm

It goes deeper than that

Anonymous
  • 18th May 2012 04:31pm

I think I am selfless as I give away surplus eggs from my free range chooks and surplus veges from my garden to the local neighbours who have families, also do volunteer work as well. I believe it makes me happy to give rather than receive and get pleasure from seeing people smile. Also give up my seat to people who need it more on the bus, will open doors for others as well.

Anonymous
  • 18th May 2012 04:28pm

I think I am as I give away surplus eggs from my free range chooks and surplus veges from my garden to the local neighbours who have families, also do volunteer work as well. I believe it makes me happy to give rather than receive and get pleasure from seeing people smile.

Son
  • 18th May 2012 04:26pm

I consider my selfless and also used by a lot of people. I was brought up to be decent and respect others especially the elderly and infirm. There are way to many selfish inconsiderate people out there and it is turning into a horrible World I am afraid,

samplekat
  • 18th May 2012 04:24pm

You have to be a bit of both. You have to look after yourself before you can understand and look out for others. This means actually "looking" at people, in the street, your friends and relatives - looking at their expressions, their faces and talking to them. Not only do you learn things, it gives you a better perspective on life and everything around you.

If your ears are plugged, you cannot hear the world around you.
If your eyes are glued to a small screen you cannot see the people, the faces and life around you. You think you are connected but you are actually dead to the world.

Taking the time to look and observe people around you is not an inconvenience and you are not putting yourself out. Part of this is manners, but I am not sure what anyone is learning in society anymore.

naz4321
  • 18th May 2012 04:11pm

may be

Lord
  • 18th May 2012 04:11pm

I live in the country. Giving a helpng hand is a way of life out here. You never think about it. You just do it.

Bellxchat
  • 18th May 2012 04:11pm

I think it's in our nature to be kind, helpful, loving, co-operative, etc. That's why it feels so fulfilling to help others, that "warm and fuzzy" feeling inside. Being disconnected from our essential self is at the heart of selfishness, aggression, unkindness, unhappiness. It's the goal of everyone on the planet to be happy, and the mistake is made in thinking happiness comes from without, or that there's only so much to go around. The well of goodness is endless!

Buggy
  • 18th May 2012 03:59pm

I personally don't consider myself selfless but I have been callrd that by many people whom I have helped. J was raised by my mum and she instilled into me that fact that everyone needs some help sometimes and one day it might be yuorself

Gilbere'
  • 18th May 2012 03:48pm

I like to think I am about 80% selfless and 20% selfish. I am more than happy for my wife to by clothes etc (if & when required). I am happy to lend a hand to neighbours if required, or assist my son by driving him to work and/or picking him up if it's raining.
All I ask for in return, is for them to worship me like the God I am ( there's that 20% creeping in).

Les Hodgson
  • 18th May 2012 03:46pm

MONEY has turned people into being very selfish people

bj
  • 18th May 2012 03:45pm

I think somewhere we act differently to different things. And at times we can All be selfish, I think this is as should be, as we would get used like a door mat.

warey
  • 18th May 2012 03:45pm

I concider myself self less in that I have voluteered with several organisations to serve other people with the skills that I have learnt over 50 years of work and now am retired. I mentor young people and help in two nusing homes as well as an overseas organisation. i want to make a difference in peoples lives and the thing I like most is to dicuss my christian life and how Jesus is the one who changed my life completely o think of others and help them. Colin

warey
  • 18th May 2012 03:43pm

I concider myself self less in that I have voluteered with several organisations to serve other people with the skills that I have learnt over 50 years of work and now am retired. I mentor young people and help in two nusing homes as well as an overseas organisation. i want to make a difference in peoples lives and the thing I like most is to dicuss my christian life and how Jesus is the one who changed my life completely o think of others and help them.

Anonymous
  • 18th May 2012 03:14pm

I personally feel that being selfless comes from somewhere deep within and that not all people have it - i feel it is a trait some people are born with. I consider myself to be quite selfless in that I do not need gratification for helping others (altho it is nice when gratification is given but that can just be a simple thank you!), i feel it is part of my duty as a human being. I have no issues helping or assisting others and do not feel the need to be gratified when i do. Sadly i know of many people who just aren't capable for whatever reason. I also know of many hard working people who go beyond their means to help others because they enjoy it and get a personal sense of satisfaction knowing they have helped people who otherwise couldn't help themselves.

Unfortunately i also hold the belief that society has a lot to do with creating a world where people respond to instant gratification. I mean manners are disappearing and people are becoming totally selfish and focused on material gain instead of being decent human beings. Money and the importance that society places on money has lots to do with this. I mean I know of many people that have 'stepped' on people just to get that job or house regardless of the consequences to other people.

Selfless people sometimes get stepped on due to their caring nature and in some cases get stepped on by others. I also believe that selfless people have a higher understanding and are capable of being selfless because we see the way the selfish are acting, and where it is taking society, and try our best to do more to enrich the lives of others - selfless people seem to be able to see the consequences of the selfish and the way they act and I personally strive to do more to try and counteract the actions of the selfish. As when you are selfish your actions generally impact on others, and not always in a positive manner!

and No i do not think there is anything we can do to stop society turning into a selfish pit. The best we can do is encourage those selfless people to keep going and to make changes etc wherever they can as we will always be on the back burner in society due to the amount of emphasis that is placed on money. Money makes people greedy and do things they sometime wouldn't do and makes people who may not have been considered selfish to become selfish as a means to survive in the current economic climate!

annmaria
  • 18th May 2012 02:55pm

i think i am selfless, i think i give more then take and try to help where i can

Twokatz
  • 18th May 2012 02:46pm

I like to treat people that way I'd want to be treated and often do things for others with no thought of "reward"

My favourite quote is "Commit random acts of kindness and senseless acts of generosity" I also believe in karma as well as paying it forward - there is a wonderful tear jerker movie called "Pay It Forward".

I have also been a volunteer when it was life before children but since our son's birth (he's nearly 15) I have been volunteering every year and I feel it is important to give back to the communities I'm involved with.

Jesse
  • 18th May 2012 02:41pm

I am a full time carer gave up an awesome career in the military to take on my new direction in life so yes i am selfless

Litaq
  • 18th May 2012 02:25pm

I have been doing voluntary work since 2001. I love doing it and the appreciation that I get from the people I'm helping gives me so much pleasure.
I would like to think that I'm not a selfish person as I like to help people who are in genuine need be it money or not.

We can't stop society from turning into a selfish pit and that is so sad knowing it would make a lot of difference in this world if we all help one another.

LastTimeLord
  • 18th May 2012 02:12pm

I doubt if modern technology and the lack of personal contact can be held responsible for people being selfish. This is definitely a case of nurture over nature. The values you mention, selflessness, good manners, and a willingness to help others, are not as highly prized as they once were nor instilled through example. When we encourage autonomous individualism and use economic values as the basis for moral engagement, benefit to self trumps all other considerations. To quote Daniel Goleman, “Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”

Barb
  • 18th May 2012 01:59pm

I do genuinely care about humanity I do volunteer work and always pick up rubbish that the selfish me society has discarded in parks and gardens.

Anonymous
  • 18th May 2012 01:38pm

I work as a counsellor - the clients I work with come from disadvantaged situations and so they really appreciate it when that 'extra mile' is offered. It's a very selfless industry - otherwise, why would anyone do it? It's incredibly rewarding when you can see someone's life turnaround and put them on a positive path.

NigeyBaby
  • 18th May 2012 01:12pm

I have found myself becoming more selfish over the years. Making less time to help people, not caring as much about some things.

Human fallibility? Looming old age? Increasing disappointment with people?

bonnie
  • 18th May 2012 01:11pm

I consider myself selfless, I always put other people before myself, thats just who I am

Madnan
  • 18th May 2012 01:01pm

I think that we are a composite of both, that there are times when we know we are being selfish, and times we are willing to go the extra mile for people. Some just do one or the other to a greater extent

Maggie
  • 18th May 2012 01:01pm

Selfless

donkey
  • 18th May 2012 01:00pm

Depending on the situation, I certainly would help a person in need . To me it is instinct , fast reaction : accessing the situation and acting! This is not a matter of good manners, It goes deeper into the depths of of instinctive feelings.

GretaZ
  • 18th May 2012 12:49pm

I just love life! If you can do something for someone else, which makes them and you feel better DO IT! I will help just about anyone once. If that person doesn't apreciate it, by saying thanks, it's over. My husband and I have helped many people and we generally become the scapegoats when their lives don't work out. I pick and choose who to help these days, because I helped a friend and she caused us a lot of problems afterward. I try to do one good deed a week, but really I'm a carer who does good deeds every day in one way or another. I am proud to be me, and prouder still that I am not selfish or an egomaniac!

panica
  • 18th May 2012 12:42pm

I think that this depends very much on the circumstances. I would generally do anything for anyone, but there are times when you just have to think about yourself, especially when your kids or your health for example, are affected.
Being selfless has nothing to do with what you get out of it, it is what kind of person you want to be and being able to live with yourself, ie not betraying your principles or ideals.
As to a me society I think that every generation has people that think only about themselves, this one is no different. But at the end of the day, or the end of their lives are they happy/contented or does selfishness breed discontent?

rabbits
  • 18th May 2012 12:33pm

i would put myself out for others when appropiate

Burchy
  • 18th May 2012 12:31pm

I try to help everyone I can when posible but focus on myself to make sure I remain healthy and capable of keeping up my other responsibilities.

pauline50
  • 18th May 2012 12:26pm

I am far from selfish as everyone else always comes before me,i have a kind heart even though i have less then every one else i always manage to be kind and give my coat of my back if i had too,on the other hand my sister is selfish everything is me me me ,i can't stand that and it makes me more inclined to be kind.people don,t want to share any more ,selfish people will have a lonely life so i make sure i help many people and have many friends:)

PaulDW
  • 18th May 2012 12:25pm

I have a belief and ethic - "Be nice to Everybody"

Try to live my life that way and think the results are positive. Am a little bit old fashioned so always opening doors and giving my seat away - costs me heaps at the bar though :-)

chooi
  • 18th May 2012 12:16pm

Everyone has a good streak in them until circumstances lured them over to the dark side. Nature versus nurtured.

nannypat258
  • 18th May 2012 12:14pm

I am uncertain into which category I fall. Am I selfish for putting my family members before all others? If this is the case then I am selfish. Am I selfless for putting a hold on my life to care for a sick husband for the rest of his life? If this is the case then I am selfless. Whichever way it is it doesn't matter - I am happy and contented with my life and hold no jealous feelings for anyone who has more money, more freedom than I do.

Alex
  • 18th May 2012 12:13pm

Bit of both works. Balance is the key. Take your own time first then spread around what's left.
Like everything (mostly) extremes are to be avoided.

taffy
  • 18th May 2012 12:04pm

I am not a selfish person because I am a born again Christian and would help anyone. I often put myself out for people. I have a lot of physical difficulties but because of my faith and my relationship with Jesus He keeps me going and gives me strength and joy.

CaityWaity92
  • 18th May 2012 12:00pm

I think I do.. Only because I am a scout leader and well I think about people before myself.

IronPapilion5
  • 18th May 2012 11:59am

Moral questions like this are not always straight forward.
One day you can do heaps of things for others, practically bend over backwards for them and at the same time be called a "Selfish Person", because those that accuse think you are being "Self less" for Selfish reasons.

So what matters is what is in your heart. Many say, "Use your head, not your heart". Well, I think that a person who is simply out for gain is one you can see that has "Cash Register Eyes".
Best thing with those people is that there is no surprises there. They are selfish.

For me, I feel implied to do things for others because being kind and caring sets a person apart. A progression of mankind and brings great goals to reality because of the dreams of hope for this world. It is set on production and creation and who knows what we can discover when we speak a word of kindness or give without expecting anything in return.

A kind person is a light in a world set of darkness. No genuine kindness goes unrewarded, even if it is only the satisfaction of making a difference.

As for me being a kind person. I am too much of a realist. I am kind because I hope it makes a difference, like a ripple in a pond it comes back in some way and returns to the sender without an unexpected end in a good way.
Yes, others would say I am kind...so I supposed I am.

lynneeime
  • 18th May 2012 11:54am

As far back as I can remember as an adult, I have always helped people. I found friends asking for my advice or if their children were hurt, they would come to me. I am a carer so maybe that is why I attract people to me. I also give out a smoke to people who ask, even when they offer to give me money, I don't take it. I think it is in my nature to help people without expecting anything in return.

kerrytherese
  • 18th May 2012 11:53am

I am always doing something for other peaople and pitting myself last

gabesmate
  • 18th May 2012 11:44am

I do not consider myself to be a selfish person. For ninety nine percent of the time I'm happy to help out where I can. Yes, I would put myself out for someone if they needed my help. Manners has little to do with it, as I believe that to assist someone , if possible, is just the right thing to do. I live in an area where there are not too many people around, and if you get in bad trouble here it really is necessary to be prepared to assist. As a matter of fact I don't have contact with a great number of people while I'm at home, but make up for this when I go out at least twice a week. It is my belief that you gain a great deal by being reasonably selfless. Quite simply, it makes you feel good.
So there it is, you help someone and it makes you feel better. If you ignore those in need and walk away I'm certain you would feel lousy. Surely we haven't turned into a ME society. If, for instance, I'm in a shopping centre and having a problem simply opening a door, someone always assists me. As an older person this is the sort of thing that happens from time to time. Younger people are great, as far as I'm concerned. They smile, open doors, and on one occasion a schoolkid who wouldn't have been older than 15 helped me carry a couple of my bags when I was loaded up with them. I'd love to say those bags had exotic things in them, but they were only groceries.

wowi
  • 18th May 2012 11:34am

I do consider myself to be a selfless person. I will help anyone if it is within my power to do so. My 5 children always say that i should start thinking about myself a little more as they feel that sometimes people take advantage of my good nature. Just recently i have had an experience where this is very much the case. It has made me wonder if it is worthwhile inconveniencing myself to help others. My experience has made me lose a little faith when it comes to helping others.

ellie78
  • 18th May 2012 11:30am

Overall I would say selfless, having given up a career to take care of my children, making sure they come first in everything. Saying that, we all have a small part of us that is selfish, we always wanting things our own way and will get annoyed if things get in the way of our goals!

harrassed
  • 18th May 2012 11:20am

I don't think there is a clear cut answer to that. As with most things there are shades of grey. I volunteer, I go out of my way to help people out even if it inconveniences me because I treat others as I would like to be treated BUT I can get just as tired and grumpy as anyone and need some me time which means I may not do everything my kids want me to. My work is not a pleasant place to be and is highly stressful so sometimes I complain (who wants to hear that?) I don't think being selfless "gets you anywhere" as such but hopefully you will be surrounded by like minded people so life will be more pleasant on the whole. Yes I'm concerned about society, It would be nice if everyone treated each other with respect and consideration. Predominantly I think this comes down to the parents because if you look at the media there aren't many role models eg the networks decided that many of the reality shows have to have a "nasty" judge who generally does not offer constructive criticism but says "that was the worst thing I've ever seen". Social media has a lot to answer for. Anyone and everyone can comment on news items etc and be fairly anonymous and not be held accountable. I don't think it's simply a matter of good manners but it is a large part of it.

Lastcardlouis
  • 18th May 2012 11:19am

I'll admit to being selfish at times, no doubt about it. On the other hand I put in a huge number of hours running a web site and editing/publishing a couple of car club magazines on a purely voluntary basis. Why? Because I can and I enjoy it.
To be frank, some selfless people leave me cold because it seems their lives consist of little else than rushing around doing Good Things and lacking a "normal" balance. But everyone's driven differently: how you can motivate people to even do the right thing half the time beats me!

magnitised
  • 18th May 2012 11:06am

These days been selfish is the only way to keep out of trouble..Ive helped people before in trouble on the street and nearly got charged my self. I had to go to court for another time making a citizen arrest.The only people ill help now are my family, The law here has made me black at heart. I wish it was not so but looking after my self is the only way to get ahead and stay out of trouble.

Five-O
  • 18th May 2012 10:51am

not sure

Five-O
  • 18th May 2012 10:51am

not sure

kazzdazz
  • 18th May 2012 10:47am

I consider myself as a selfless to an extent. I WILL help anyone who is less fortunate than myself at any time, although I will not do so if it puts my own family in a position of hardship. Saying this I will still offer assistance of another kind. Example of giving homeless advice where they can find shelter. I have put them up in my home before. But my family's needs must come first.

Jaime
  • 18th May 2012 10:36am

I would like to think of myself as selfless but the truth is that different factors affect this state of mind. I am a people pleaser by nature and I enjoy making those around me happy and comfortable. I will always go out of my way for friends and family even at my own expense. This is without question..

However with strangers it would depend on my mood. And in this regard it just comes down to laziness. I try to be a good person and I tell myself that even the littlest thing could make someones day. However i would be more selfish than not when it comes to strangers unless something makes me conscious of it. Like a smile or some other gesture that makes me conscious of my actions in relation to that person.

ted
  • 18th May 2012 10:24am

I suppose that I am both as I have put 35 years into volunteer emergency work (24 hours a day) so I was selfless to others and selfish to my family in some ways, but the feeling I got from helping others gave me a real good feeling from being able to do that sort of work it also made my family proud of me.

Lizzie
  • 18th May 2012 10:19am

I am not a selfish person I would go that extra mile for friends and close family.in the past I have helped a lot of family members out sometimes without thanks but it does not stop me being the person I am. I know a lot of selfish people it's all about them not sure what makes you like that it's like they think they are the ones that are owed something in this world.

Nemeen
  • 18th May 2012 10:18am

I believe that I am a selfless person, I go well out of my way to help others even when I get it thrown back in my face. I can obviously have selfish moments but if you don't then you just burn out. I don't think it is just good manners because I know people with good manners who don't go that extra mile but I could not tell you what it is.

Mim
  • 18th May 2012 10:13am

Most of us are probably a bit of both but leaning more to one way than the other. You can make yourself a doormat but can also be a scrooge in your life.

Anonymous
  • 18th May 2012 10:02am

Selflessness has benefits to others and the person in practise. Positive energy can be transferred to others and encourages increased productivity.
In my opinion, modern technology has been affecting society since the industrial age in which machines and artificial aids have increased an aura of conformity, supressed emotion and perhaps selfishness and greed, although I do think there are still plenty of people who posess selflessness and i'm confident it will remain so for a long time to come - biology takes a long time to evolve to it's general environment.

Debs
  • 18th May 2012 09:55am

I don't know if I am selfless ... I have children so I guess I have had to be selfless to a point. I can be selfish too ... coz I will NOT share my chocolate! I have put myself out for others at times but I do think that on a whole the generations have become more "me" orientated. Manners have heaps to do with it ... and sometimes some people will take advantage of kind people ... so a person can be selfless even when they say NO! And helping someone can also be done for selfish reasons ... I think it's how others percieve you as a person.

Pammy67
  • 18th May 2012 09:54am

I find that I always put others before myself. Suppose that is part of being a 'mum'. I should toughen up a bit sometimes, and put myself first, but it rarely happens.

Kirsty1
  • 18th May 2012 09:53am

Aren't we all selfish? Who can say they've not had selfish thoughts? Who can say they never begrudge what they do for people? Selfishness is natural human nature. Being selfless takes effort. If we fool ourselves into thinking we're not selfish, then we stop making the effort to think of others! Thankfully, many people are willing to go against their basic human nature and aim for something better.

flower
  • 18th May 2012 09:43am

i dont think im a selfless peson if anybody needs help i try to help has much as i can.
vera

Lee
  • 18th May 2012 09:37am

I will always try and help if I can as I enjoy helping, just my nature. But I do think you need to be aware of your own needs as well.

Ellessri
  • 18th May 2012 09:36am

I haven't really htought about it, I'm probably a bit of both, slefless outside work and selfish at work.
It gets you somewhere with friends - they know that you will do anything for them and that creates trust and a feeling of having someone to turn to. That is definitely worth something - especially if it goes both ways. To me you do whatever you can to help family and friends, no matter the personal cost.

matua
  • 18th May 2012 09:35am

By being selfless, means to be a servant willing to help and care for others. This also extends to any animals or pets, and they know who is selfless. In my observant of some selfish people I consider that they seam more greedy and grumpy. They tend to be unhappy within them selves which is directly opposite to that of selfless people who inward happiness extends even to the outside.

MICHAEL
  • 18th May 2012 09:32am

I consider myself to be both SELFISH and SELFLESS. In fact I think everyone is the same, it just depends on the circumstances

Michael

Scree
  • 18th May 2012 09:25am

I like to think that I'm selfless.
Mainly because I feel my mother brought me up to be that way.

Littlelegs
  • 18th May 2012 09:24am

I help out as many people as I can. I often get told I give or do too much and don't look after myself first.

Jeay4nz
  • 18th May 2012 09:16am

I always thought I was a Selfless Person until recently when I visited my GP and then found out that I am Now a Selfish person who cannot get the Medical treatment I thought I was entitled to and all because of the new Regulations imposed by the Government recently that now says we are only allowed approximately 10 Minutes of the Doctors time before as stipulated by the Health Authorities and I now wonder WHY, I am always having moments of blackouts all because my Blood pressure drops rapidly and unexpectedly a t any time, day and or night and Yes, I cannot get the help I really need to be able to get this Corrected by the General practitioners, Question is Now, Has the Medical Services gone ballistic or What. ???

Kat82
  • 18th May 2012 09:06am

i am Selfless, My husband, Kids and Family all come before me.

alienmyst
  • 18th May 2012 09:05am

I wish to pose a question to your question: does this really matter? I personally think people are not truely honest with themselves and with the world around them. Everyone wears masks , one for each situatuion they face in a day, but in the great scheme of things as a hole what matters is what we are doing to change this world from the ugly thing it is becoming, war, famine , greed , lust, hatred, racism, the list goes on..... Where do you stamd when the person in the street is being attacked, or the begger is asking for $2 or the women in the house 2 doors down has left her 2 year old outside with nothing on, what are you like morally is more the question I would ask .

Debs
  • 18th May 2012 09:58am
I wish to pose a question to your question: does this really matter? I personally think people are not truely honest with themselves and with the world around them. Everyone wears masks , one for...

I absolutely agree ... Morality is on a decline

sarah
  • 18th May 2012 08:58am

I think good manners are very important - one of our best schools motto is Manners Maketh the man - I feel that a person with good manners will possibly be selfessness as it is in his pysche to help someone in need..

Gerry1945
  • 18th May 2012 08:53am

People are becoming more selfish forcing us to listen to their subwoofers and wakeing us up with burnouts and excesively noisy exhausts. They do no care about others or authority and the laws.
Icare about others and do community work, help the elderly and family because it makes me feel good and useful. There are too many uncaring people in this world. Children are being brought up to be introverted and they care more about their 2000 Facebook friends than their family or real ones.

Motherparrot
  • 18th May 2012 08:53am

I think most of us are a bit of both. I knit woollen squares to make up into blankets for charity and happily buy the wool/yarn in various places to do so but on the other hand I get very annoyed at all the charities who ring asking for donations. Sometimes I feel the more possessions we have the less giving we are.

vikki1986
  • 18th May 2012 08:48am

Everyone is selfish more or less and I am

glendaj
  • 18th May 2012 08:44am

I consider myself a giving person. I volunteer weekly at the local library, look after my neighbours children often at short norice and love every minute of the time I can give to others. I am retired now but when I was working I had the same attitide and went out of my way to help others as much as I could.

feefee
  • 18th May 2012 08:20am

I have always helped out where I can. Being a parent, you have to teach your kids selflessness plus it's a great feeling to know that you are contributing. Even if it's the same people "helping out" all the time, those people build great friendships and the people not helping are missing out.

rubbish
  • 18th May 2012 08:09am

as a current member of Lions I am always trying to make a difference to our community so I suppose I am considered to be selfless , without appearing to
" blow my own trumpet" Bert

jann
  • 18th May 2012 08:00am

I think it comes back to good manners and how you were brought up

Alphabet
  • 18th May 2012 07:56am

I'm a believer in the adage that "you have to look after number one first" - if you can't look after yourself, you certainly can't help anyone else ... beyond that, I'm more than happy to help anyone if it's within my means ...

vickbenla
  • 18th May 2012 07:43am

Shortstuff
  • 18th May 2012 07:42am

It gets me nowhere, but I would give my last dollar to help someone, hard when the world is selfish

mickey
  • 18th May 2012 07:35am

I think I have a kind heart and some people have said so. Yet, on the other hand I can be a bit selfish if I want to indulge myself. I'm generally kind and selfless to family members putting their needs before my own.

Anonymous
  • 18th May 2012 07:15am

I used to be very unselfish ..and would always put myself out for others..but some people just take advantage of you...and im getting more wary. ive learnt to say no more but need to do that with some people more often... but Im trying to be decerning and still help others all I can. I have noticed over the years more people are becoming truly mean and selffish though. sadly..

daisy
  • 18th May 2012 07:14am

I try to be kind to everyone, and I give everyone a smile, don't always get one back, makes me think they have a lot of problems in their lives. I someone needs help I will be there.

Rosita
  • 18th May 2012 07:13am

Sadly we are building a very selfish society where everyone is looking out to fulfil their own pleasure and satisfaction and not being there for other people. my pleasure is gained from seeing the joy and pleasure when you are giving to others be it material or personal..

silvafern
  • 18th May 2012 07:05am

It is true! Modern techo is turning us into communicative morons and depersonalised our inter-relationships.We text instead of talk.It is a sad reflection of where "modern" society is at.

swamy
  • 18th May 2012 07:01am

Selflessness equals contentment; as I am content with what I have, I consider myself a selfless person.
Only if people realize the futility of desires, they can become selfless. Modern technology can be harnessed to achieve selflessness.
I can wholeheartedly strive for selflessness even it it meant inconveniencing me.
Good manners no doubt remain the starting point to achieve selflessness.

Jojo1
  • 18th May 2012 06:01am

I am a selfless person. No selfishness does not get you anywhere in life. We need to do more random acts of kindness for people. Yes I think modern technology has turned us into a ME society. Yes I would put myself out for someone even if it meant inconveniencing myself. Yes it is good manners but inherently it is our basic inner self.

spunky70
  • 18th May 2012 06:01am

I actually get a real joy out of helping other people. I used to volunteer with the Mater Mothers hospital helping single mothers, that have had family problems. Even though being a single mum my self and having my own problems. There is nothing more rewarding or satisfying then helping others...It takes your mind of your own problems and you see there are other people out there worse off

Jezemeg8
  • 18th May 2012 05:58am

It seems I've posted twice, not my intention....anyone who can figure out how to delete the second post is welcome to do so....God bless.

Jezemeg8
  • 18th May 2012 05:48am

The question is posed, does selflessness actually get you anywhere in life? Well I guess the answer is a NO but I'm not interested in this life anyway, I do what I do because I wish to live as Jesus lived...what others think about that is unimportant to me.
The ME generation has been happening for years, including years where internet technology was not as widespread in the community, so NO I don't think modern technology has anything to do with it's place in society. People choose to focus only on WANTS of self, just as they choose to focus on the NEEDS of another.
I'm out on a nightly basis contacting the street folk and homeless, and I've often, in storms, taken off my jacket and given a warm jumper (sweater) that I'm wearing to someone who needed it. Why do I do this? Because I've got sufficient for my needs, there is no point handing a jacket that is already soaked, where I have a dry garment beneath that will serve as a garment of warmth. Do I expect to be applauded by others for this, NO, it makes no difference to me what others think.
I believe caring for the needs of others is far more than good manners, one has to be focussed on the NEEDS of others, instead of on fulfilling the WANTS of self.

missy4179
  • 18th May 2012 05:46am

Oh I'am not going to be famous here but I'm going to be honest and say that I'am selfish ! I like my own space, I don't like idiots etc...... I like clean things and when you go out these days most things are NOT ..... What I do own are keepsakes really from other family members so I protect them fiercely ....... I like my loved ones to be safe so I do what I can with a passion to help anyone I love .... to those who have nothing I give because I can and have no need for material possessions ..... if this makes me selfish then I'am ..... sorry for not being the popular one but I do give humour with honesty and a GOOD LAUGH !

Ro
  • 18th May 2012 05:20am

I think like most things in life it should be both.
Help where you can, spread a little sunshine with manners and grace. But look after yourself, martyrdom is another word for self destruction. Helping people gives most of us a self buzz, so share the love people.

Jezemeg8
  • 18th May 2012 05:17am

The question is posed, does selflessness actually get you anywhere in life? Well I guess the answer is a NO but I'm not interested in this life anyway, I do what I do because I wish to live as Jesus lived...what others think about that is unimportant to me.
The ME generation has been happening for years, including years where internet technology was not as widespread in the community, so NO I don't think modern technology has anything to do with it's place in society. People choose to focus only on WANTS of self, just as they choose to focus on the NEEDS of another.
I'm out on a nightly basis contacting the street folk and homeless, and I've often, in storms, taken off my jacket and given a warm jumper (sweater) that I'm wearing to someone who needed it. Why do I do this? Because I've got sufficient for my needs, there is no point handing a jacket that is already soaked, where I have a dry garment beneath that will serve as a garment of warmth. Do I expect to be applauded by others for this, NO, it makes no difference to me what others think.
I believe caring for the needs of others is far more than good manners, one has to be focussed on the NEEDS of others, instead of on fulfilling the WANTS of self.

Captain Slog
  • 18th May 2012 05:10am

Hi Rainbow, Everyone,
I am sorry to admit, that in some way I AM selfish, but not always. Right now, I am really struggling to get by, seeing as how I am broke and unemployed. alot of these charities have been out and about lately looking for donations, etc., and I don't contribute to them. I especially DON'T give to the "Starvation" Army. The main reason is, they are religious, so too are "World Vision", CCF and others. I am deeply insulted by anyone or anything religious and i DON'T trust them.
The only charities I support are RED CROSS, St.John Ambulance, when I can afford it. BUT. . . there is ONE that In NEVER ignore, and even $2. is the best I can do these days,and that is the RSA (RSL in Oz) on ANZAC Day. This year I gave $5. THese poor blokes fought and died for our "freedom" and they totally deserve ALL of our recognition and respect. Something the Government only "Show" because they HAVE to, but they DON'T mean it. Its obvious, because we have NO Real Army, Navy or Air Force now. Our Navy is now so undermanned, they have to Mothball a couple of their brand new Coastal Patrol Boats. Like the ones seen in "Sea Patrol."
Another thing I show my Generosity to is People who treat me so well, they really make an impression. My Barber, Lisa, in Taupo who does such a good job of my hair gets not only a Birthday Card, but a Xmas Card, too.
Eileen & Des (Managers) and the Crew of McDonald's Taupo also get a Xmas Card from me because they offer such a friendly place to enjoy a meal, and because they know me, I get special treatment and they come and chat with me.
At Xmas last year, I gave Hannah and Latitia and Crew of Whittcoul's in Taupo a big box of Cadbury's Favourites because they went out of their way to get me my STAR WARS "The Clone Wars" Series 3 DVD Set. I have ALWAYS had Excellent Service from them and I showed them my appreciation as only I can. I think I really made their day, too. In my books, GOOD People Deserve to be Recognised, Acknowledged and Rewarded. If they make ME feel good, I want to make THEM feel good. You don't have to have a religion to do that. It has to be from The Heart, not a fairy story.
Sorry this is long, but.. .

AEC
  • 18th May 2012 04:50am

I'M SELFISH WHEN IT COMES TO MY FAMILY MATTERS, MODERN TECH HAS REDUCED PERSONAL CONTACT, MOST PEOPLE HAVE GOOD MANNERS

joe t-c
  • 18th May 2012 04:33am

It's all about balance. I volunteer for a large girls organisation - holding several roles, and occasionally having very few weekends for me and family time, but I love volunteering and love that the girls get such a huge amount out of the organisation and the training. Occasionally I do say "no sorry I can't do that" as you do need time for yourself and family - and as someone mentioned you have to be healthy so that you can have the choice.

Inez6306
  • 18th May 2012 03:59am

I consider myself BOTH! Saying 'Yes." to every volunteer, request for help simply makes one a doormat! I choose 1-2 places to help, and to the rest I say "No." I don't need to explain , simply 'no'.
I have things I do for myself, and that is just as important. If I give all of myself away, what do I have left over of ME?
that said, I have always taught my children that not every job needs payment, and that their purpose is to leave the world just a bit better than when they got here. But never, ever martyr themselves to prove that they are 'good' people.

Rachel
  • 18th May 2012 01:33am

I don't believe selflessness gets you any further in life but it does give you a warm fuzzy feeling which is better than feeling like a misery guts! I do go out of my way to help others particularly if they are worst off than me. I am a strong believer in the thought that people should learn from life and their mistakes so I might be picky as to who I help but I have my reasoning behind my decisions. I am not in a financial position to help everyone and if the truth be known could do with someone showing a bit of selflessness my way as I have to watch every "penny" I earn and spend.
If it is not monetary related I will help everyone as it is only my time and attention I am giving up and sometimes people only need someone to listen and I am always available for this!

mysteron347
  • 18th May 2012 01:09am

I was always the one to do the organising and arrangements, to make up the shortfall, to give people the lift across town and feed their animals when they were away. Even to make loans when they needed it, or pay bills against a promise of repayment.

Then I found myself out-of-work and in need of a little support.

There was no-one there.

jaguar
  • 18th May 2012 01:03am

A quotation comes to mind, from Ayn Rand an American writer claiming existentialist philosophy "The selflessness of selfishness" :-)) Google etc may find it/her

Bellajoy
  • 18th May 2012 12:57am

No one can be totally selfless, but i will never be selfish with people who are close to me or whom i love dearly or at least that is what i try not to be

Mick
  • 18th May 2012 12:49am

I would like to think that I am selfless rather than selfish. I don't do a lot of volunteering but I do contribute to charities in a positive way where I can. If there is a sausage sizzle for the footy club then I'm probably cooking it. I think that people who contribute to whatever cause they can are selfless, I don't begrudge those who are selfish ... that is their decision and I can't change it. Be in charge of your own self and the rest will come as a matter of course =)

Kwilena
  • 18th May 2012 12:42am

I believe that if you don't take care of self, no one else can do it for you. This may cause you to regard be then, as selfish.

Anonymous
  • 17th May 2012 11:54pm

i think sometimes we can all be selfish - but for the most part we tend to look to help others where we can. Modern technology has made us more introvert in that we dont spend as much time outside our own space these days and stay at home checking out what we want. We have become a rather 'me' society and have forgotten about the world around us. Me personally i find am perhaps a little too selfless and often forget about me in the process of giving my time, energy and moeny to family but that to me is what family is all about. So i suppose i consider that it is part of who i am and not selfless, if that makes sense. i just want to give joy and pleasure to others in return i recieve back from them that same thing.

joe kool
  • 17th May 2012 11:48pm

Definately a selfless person , or so my friends say

Anonymous
  • 17th May 2012 11:47pm

i dont know that i would consider myself either, but a lot of my family and friends tell me that i am selfless in that i always give my time and help wherever no matter what it costs me - whether that be time, finances, emotional support etc. For me though most of myself giving goes to my family and usually i put me last. It is a part of what makes me me i suppose so does it get me anywhere in life - well it gives me satisfaction, joy and happiness so i suppose in one sense it does. As for if it is good manners, i dont think so. I think if you are a giving sort of person then that is what you will do and often wont count the cost to yourself. some people are not that sort of person but then that is what makes this world so unique and interesting.

lukey71
  • 17th May 2012 11:46pm

I think everybody is fundamentally selfish, as we all do what makes us happy. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing. The question is do we obtain happiness at the expense of others or by abusing or exploiting others, or does our happiness comes from helping others. For me seeing people happy and healthy makes me happy, so I do what I can to make that happen.

MAC
  • 17th May 2012 11:28pm

I have been the Good Samaritan in the past and have had my good deed reciprocated. What goes around comes around :o)

Violetpatricia
  • 17th May 2012 11:28pm

I always consider the feelings of others and certainly put my family first in absolutely everything I do and also consider the feelings of my friends and yes I would put myself out for someone because that is what you do when you are a friend and I find that it works in both directions with my family and friends. Being selfless is about who you are and not something you do for reward.

Adriana23
  • 17th May 2012 10:59pm

Yes I put me out many times out for my parents until I discover is best be some time selfish but I can't be selfish .I put my friends in front of my entrees even this no bring me any benefit or better say bring me more inconvenient.But give me satisfaction in my hart I can help peoples.

sandy
  • 17th May 2012 10:56pm

I think sometimes society has forgotten to consider others as we are all too busy in our own little world. What we have to remember is one day we might be the one who needs a helping hand and as they say "What goes around comes around". Make the most of your day and make someone elses day offer to lend a hand, lifes to short to be selfish,

Sandy

Anonymous
  • 17th May 2012 10:37pm

i would be always there to put the other person first be fore myself that is just who i am and the way i was brought up with tough love and respect a good old flogging never ever hurt me or my siblings and we all turned out to be fine people i am not standing by child abuse
count your blessings that you have dont want what other people have help a stranger wouldnt you apperciate that if you wre in need a better world is what we want and we need to all come together on at least one thing people are to self involved and only worring about themselves in todays sociaty grow a heart people and a brain

doncogs
  • 17th May 2012 10:26pm

I think you need to be a bit of both, as if you are either one or the other you will never be a role model or experience what the other means. I take volunteering, I have done plenty for the community ie marathons for others by raising much needed funds, but on the other hand I had to be selfish for myself as well to achive the ultimate goal of completing and being able to advocate to others.

Chrissywin
  • 17th May 2012 10:25pm

I would say mostly selfless, due to the fact I brought up 4 daughters on my own. Now I support them whilst they work and look after my grand daughters. Being a single parent you are more selfless than a 2 parent family. Everything you do is for the kids, and share all you have. I do not agree with technology making us have a lack of personal contact. I have met many wonderful people on the net, and hope to meet up with them one day.

nag
  • 17th May 2012 10:09pm

I am selfless. I believe if you do wrong then bad things happen to people. If you do nice things and have a possitive attitude you get further in life.

splinter49
  • 17th May 2012 10:09pm

I would say that it all has to do with your upbringing, if you are thinking about other people you should not be selfish

chinu
  • 17th May 2012 10:08pm

selfless doesnt means never bother about the society it is more deeper than a good mannermodern tecnollegy has very big hand in changing our proity of life

musicmum
  • 17th May 2012 10:03pm

I think I am a bit of both,I selflessly put my needs aside just like any other mother but I don't volunteer or help out with any community projects as I don't have any energy left,money or time. Being a country person I am often shocked at how city people behave, maybe there is so much to worry about they choose to worry about nothing as its too overwhelming. Much easier to take care of oneself. But when disaster hits we go on about how wonderful people come together to help each other out where this should be the norm and not wait for a disaster to make it happen.

greece
  • 17th May 2012 09:57pm

i WANT TO TO DO WHAT GOD WHATS

Lorraine
  • 17th May 2012 09:55pm

I believe it is essential to be selfish and selfless at different times. Sure it is a wonderful quality to be selfless and most people are at one time or another. Being a mother, wife and daughter I have experienced being selfless many times. But self preservation makes us all selfish at one time or another. You would be a complete doormat if one was selfless the entire time. So like all things in life moderation is the key....

mollymoomoo
  • 17th May 2012 09:45pm

When it comes to family and friends I know I would do anything to help them - especially my children. I don't have much time to myself as I want their childhoods to be one with a mother that is there to talk to and help them. I don't often buy myself things as I prefer to save and buy them the things/or create a memorable special occasion. That does take some selflessness, but is something many parents have in common.
. I have donated to charity and natural disasters, but this is the 'easy' way of being selfless.
The truth is when it comes to people I don't know I would help in an emergency (of course) but otherwise don't go out of my way to find people or causes to help, simply because I am busy with my own family. When the kids grow up and move out perhaps I will find the time to be more hands on helping others. Does this make me selfish? I'm not sure, maybe compared to some.

flowerdalejewel
  • 17th May 2012 09:42pm


When I was younger I'd say yep I was selfish (weren't we all?) but now being a carer to my 2 brothers I'm rarely selfish (even when I'd like to be). Looking after someone else rapidly moves the selfishness out of you.

hoppy55555
  • 17th May 2012 09:41pm

I have the question.What is really selfless and what is just being a mindless wimp.I was run over by some selfless wimp,going through a stop sign.Mind you that it would not be wished on anything.After being in a coma for over 10 months.242 bones broken bones.Lose all memory of everything.Need brain operations twice.Be bedridden for a very very long time.That is just the start of what has happened.If it was not for some selfless whole hearted hospital staff at RPA and Lidcome Private I know that even 20 years later I can never be able to thank them

whucke
  • 17th May 2012 09:37pm

If you are an empathetic person, you will naturally put the wellbeing and health of others before yourself.

relly
  • 17th May 2012 09:37pm

i am a selfless person because i am not selfish??? I believe it does get u everywhere in life it works for me anyway and i would put myself out to help anyone that needs it> Manners have nothing to do with it u should always do everything to help others>as long as they appreciate it

MellissaD
  • 17th May 2012 09:37pm

I think being selfless is about putting others first. Less self, more others. But I don't necessarily think being selfish is the opposite of being selfless. Even the most selfless person would have times when they need to be "selfish" and put themselves first, else they wouldn't have anything of themself left to give!

In the world and country I live in, I would probably be considered equal parts selfless and selfish. I like to help others and give what I can, but I also value my solitude and need a lot of time to myself. Compare me to others and I might seem more selfish or more selfless - it really is such a matter of perspective.

K13
  • 17th May 2012 09:22pm

in the editor's note i found the following quote amusing but i wanted to set the record straight. the quote was..


"Over the past week I've had numerous conversations in the office on 'selfishness'. What sparked this discussion I hear you ask? Fiji. A Caféstudy colleague recently went on a family holiday to Fiji and whilst there, encountered an epiphany. He's fallen in love with the Fijian way... And with their reputation for genuine kindness and warm friendly nature, how could he not?"


everyone falls in love with fiji and the people when they go for a short holiday.
let me tell you something about the fijian people. i lived in fiji and they are the best actors on the planet. many times while i lived there i heard people saying "we want tourists to come here and spend their money but we want them to go home." they have a way of making you feel sorry for them and it costs you a small fortune in the long run. my daughter is half fijian. the women hated me because i took one of "their" men. they fussed over my daughter in front of her father but when he was not around, my daughter was an outcast.

you dont know people until you live with them and no-one was more shocked than i was at the fijian people's treatment of tourists behind their back. remember, i have lived amongst these people so i am talking from personal experience

in answer to your question, im a selfish person these days because i was forever putting myself out for others yet the one time i needed help, i found myself alone. i think a lot of people (especially mothers) need to learn to be more selfish.

khushi
  • 17th May 2012 09:17pm

It is absolutely not necessary for a person to be selfish to progress in life! Those who believe in a higher power are selfless because of their belief that they shall be duly rewraded by that higher power for not being selfish but caring and considerate of others.

Khushi

wabbit
  • 17th May 2012 09:15pm

Overall, I believe that our society has been selfless for as long as time goes back.......thinking about self-preservation in prehistoric times where it was a matter of do or die, circumstances haven't changed that much except for the fact there are more people aware of those in need and willing to help, either paid or voluntarily, to causes that are screaming for support.
Individually though, I'd say that people are more selfless these days due to time, financial and health reasons to be able to give/offer help and time for others.
Personally, I have spent he last 2-3 years helping with older family/friends of family, as well as trying to lend a hand to other people/animals when I can, so overall I guess I believe that if I can help or put a smile on someone's face I walk away feeling better!!!! eg just spent my last birthday travelling to and from SA to VIC in36 hours to help friend get load trailer of house-stuff moved urgently

MariaG
  • 17th May 2012 09:12pm

I believe that a true sign of selflessness is when you are willing to do something kind even if it's not known that you are responsible. Being a caring person is not rocket science. As the old say goes "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I think that eventually, one comes to realise that it's not all about me. Speaking for myself, I have to say that I'm no angel. That's not to say that I think only of myself. Sometimes, one does need to do for you. On the other side of the coin there is nothing more gratifying that helping someone in need and asking for nothing in return. A helping hand, shoulder to cry on or a listening ear may be all that it takes. Sometimes giving one's time or even donating blood, which I do without thought, can be just as valuable as donating money. For me, I'd like to think that there will be someone out there who will gain some glimmer of a smile because of having contact with me. Life is short; too short to waste on selfish pursuits.

dolores
  • 17th May 2012 09:07pm

I consider myself selfless as I always try to be there for family and friends

annie
  • 17th May 2012 08:53pm

I hope I am a selfless person who always puts others before myself.I always try to do the best I can and am always available to help others

kathy77
  • 17th May 2012 08:53pm

I consider myself selfless, although I know their are a lot of selfish people today and I have put myself out there to help and to greet people even when I was not feeling the best in myself I think this is due to being with island people for the majority of my life

Granville
  • 17th May 2012 08:50pm

I think I am pretty much in the middle

Aashish
  • 17th May 2012 08:47pm

I'm completely selfish. Even in my acts that appear selfless are actually more self serving than most realise. Afterall, I do something nice for someone, they say thank you and I feel better about myself - thus I actually did the nice deed to be thanked. A friend of mine actually wrote her thesis on this topic and yeah, basically she went on to explain that whilst people often believe they are being selfless, more often than not if completely broken down people do things to satisfy their own egos. *shrugs* just my 2p

Michael
  • 17th May 2012 08:45pm

I don't believe I am selfish and have given of my time freely over a long life and often got kicked in the guts for my efforts. I have worked with mental people and tried to run a shop as well and both crossed. I was too giving and it was me who was hurt and the people I was helping remained without a conscience. In fact, I have up my later years to care for my late Dad and now my mother & it is very hard when illness & depression are involved. When family come into it they are selfish and do little but think they can over-ride me at the end and get everything. Damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I have helped many people in one way or another and it is not always appreciated. Often it is dog eat dog these days.

Still I am happy as I am and it is what I want it to be. They haven't hardened me.

yazzy260983
  • 17th May 2012 08:44pm

i reckon you shouldnt be considered selfish, what if they end up being the same to you, i hate to be selfish

CSD
  • 17th May 2012 08:44pm

It's a difficult topic.

1) Do you help others to make yourself feel better?
2) Do you place yourself at disadvantage to the people your are trying to help, and why?
3) Are your priorities in life jeaporadised by a desire to help and how do you respond?
4) Do you want to convince the person(s) you are trying to help that your way of life and living is the best way?
5) Can you allow those you want to help personal dignity while accepting your help?
6) Do you want to be thanked or acknowledged?

I'm sure there are lots more pertinent questions but these are all I can think of for now.

mika08
  • 17th May 2012 08:43pm

I think being selfless is very important but you also need to be humble and modest about it. There is no point in helping someone out if it is only to big yourself up and expect something in return. Being selfless is to work quietly for others without even thinking about it.

mizkrissi
  • 17th May 2012 08:39pm

I would like to think of myself as being more selfless than selfish. I stop and help strangers in the street if they look lost; help people with prams or shopping; wait and offer first aid or nursing care to injured people at accidents and if little kids are lost I will make sure I get them back to their parents. I should add I am an RN but I did these kind of things before I became a nurse too. I get told by a lot of people that I am a schmuck and let people take advantage of my good nature and I need to "get selfish to survive" but I don't agree. I am happy being how I am. I think that things in Western society started to go downhill when the "ME" generation started to take precedence over the when we considered how our actions affected society as a whole. When the "rights" of the individual became more important than the responsibilities of the individual towards their community I feel we lost much of what it was that made us a civilised society and instead created a group of humans that just happened to live in the same geographical location by chance

holdenmg
  • 17th May 2012 08:28pm

I'm pretty selfless. Bit... if chocolate or wine are on offer, all bet are off!

godsbaby
  • 17th May 2012 08:23pm

I think if you are selfish or not has alot to do with how you were raised and your attitude to life.. We don't talk anymore spending more and more time alone but that doesn't make us selfish just lonely and mayb a little fearful of the world around us.. Good manners is one thing that this day and age seems to be lacking.. If we always get what we want when we want it than that must have a bad affect on us.. We don't value ourselves how can we value or respect others..

mismoo
  • 17th May 2012 08:16pm

I am a selfless person. I have been told recently that I have a heart of gold. I think that if you want to be treated in a certain way you must treat people in that way too. It's not hard to be kind. A smile and a hello never hurt anyone. If you can't do a simple little thing like that I feel you have a problem and a big chip on your shoulder. My advise to everyone is you get what you give and when you do something that's nice you make people happy. We should all try to do at least one nice thing per day and the world would be a nicer place all round.

frankie
  • 17th May 2012 08:15pm

Yes I do put mself out for others especially when they need help it is good manners but also would not want to think anything happened because i was not there to help or spare the time

aggu
  • 17th May 2012 08:13pm

Present generation I don't think selfless people will be recognised. Having said this I would like to give few example. Recently I helped my best friend ignoring my family, but result for helping got adverse negative rewards from their family and I was in black list with my own people. So we have to be little selfish also, better.

rongovegas
  • 17th May 2012 08:12pm

I'm selfless and selfish - I work in an industry with people who are trying to reclaim their lives after chronic illness and am a solo mum. I do believe that giving to others (selflessness) does make you a better person as you get to understand and assist people in very different circumstances to yours and make sacrifices for the greater good. However I am selfish when it comes to my time - after working with people and being with the children all week I really enjoy a bit of me time to read a book, lie in the bath, catch up with friends etc

rongovegas
  • 17th May 2012 08:12pm

I'm selfless and selfish - I work in an industry with people who are trying to reclaim their lives after chronic illness and am a solo mum. I do believe that giving to others (selflessness) does make you a better person as you get to understand and assist people in very different circumstances to yours and make sacrifices for the greater good. However I am selfish when it comes to my time - after working with people and being with the children all week I really enjoy a bit of me time to read a book, lie in the bath, catch up with friends etc

shaz
  • 17th May 2012 08:12pm

It seems to be nowadays many people think of themselves and nobody else if they cant benefit from someone else re money, belongings put comments back onto you even if you did not make them to make themselves look like wonderful people as i have experienced these issues this has become sad is society losing all morals , respect etc . There is people that still are a pleasure to meet , watch on tv hear on radio etc . it seems to be now they are a dying breed

shaz
  • 18th May 2012 11:21am
I agree very much with you. It is a different world now where truth, morality and caring dont count anymore. There are a few left who do care about others but there are also a lot who help just to...

it makes me happy to know we still have some people with morals after reading peoples opinion on this site well done to you all lets hope people will change their ways and understand we are not here for a long time LETS HOPE

shaz
  • 18th May 2012 11:11am
It is a sad world today I think so anyway. Not a lot of courtesy nowadays, some still open the door for me as I have to use a walker, cannot walk unaided for the last 3 years, I still will let an...

you are so correct and it seems to be the world is going mad i am also someone who is aided by a stick as i have ms . i am concerned for the children what they will have to deal with in time to come .

gina21
  • 18th May 2012 04:48am
It seems to be nowadays many people think of themselves and nobody else if they cant benefit from someone else re money, belongings put comments back onto you even if you did not make them to make...

I agree very much with you. It is a different world now where truth, morality and caring dont count anymore. There are a few left who do care about others but there are also a lot who help just to see what they can get out of it. I was a volunteer for 6 years, 5 days a week then I gave it up in disgust. The people we were helping werent the ones who needed but the people who wanted.The older people who came for help told me they felt as if they were accepting charity. As i said to those people"what do you do with all the stuff you dont want"and they all said they put things into a charity bin. So as I said to them they were just getting back some of the help they had given to others.

Ingi
  • 17th May 2012 10:24pm
It seems to be nowadays many people think of themselves and nobody else if they cant benefit from someone else re money, belongings put comments back onto you even if you did not make them to make...

It is a sad world today I think so anyway. Not a lot of courtesy nowadays, some still open the door for me as I have to use a walker, cannot walk unaided for the last 3 years, I still will let an older person than myself, I am 70 go first, hold the door open if I am able, a lot of people tend to think of themselves only, there are still some nice people around but not like they used to be, not many of us left nowadays, it's sad. There is always someone worse of than us, if I can help I do, what I can. I wish there was more respect nowadays and not so much violence, bashings, spiking drinks was not heard of in my time. Maybe I thought everyone was normal and courteous. It's a different world out there today and I wish things were back to basics like they were 50 years ago. Money seems to be the "in thing'' and morals and respect has been thrown out the window.

margaretjulia
  • 17th May 2012 08:09pm

I try to help my family in any way possible. That includes parents and children

Red
  • 17th May 2012 08:08pm

As human beings at times we all can be a little of both, as none of us are perfect. But in saying that I do try like all people to be more selfess than selfish, and would like to think my friends agree.. As I type away I wonder if that is the case, as we all isolate ourselves more and more each day, does that mean we automatically become selfish??? or does that just mean that's our world now? and we cannot turn back the clock. Each day I take the time to say hello to my neighbour as I walk past on the way to the bus, it's not a selfess act, just a little bit of courtious which has not died, and i'm not old (that is if you don't ask my sons) lol.

kiwigal
  • 17th May 2012 08:08pm

Selfish is the type of person, normally kind people are selfless. However it is good to have balance.

I consider myself balanced, I know I need to take time out of busy day, do not always do it but do have time to breath. Everyone needs that.

littlepuss
  • 17th May 2012 08:02pm

I love helping out. If I'm healthy and able, why not! I get back so much more in appreciation than what I give. It doesn't have to be anything major; little things all add up. It just makes you happy. On both sides!

Anonymous
  • 17th May 2012 08:00pm

In my view I am deffinately SELFLESS. I always give more prominent to others comfort than myself. Specially for my family , friends and needy people will get any help from me. Problem now a days being selfless is more risky than olden days. because selfless people normally will not be happy because of the attitude of the people in this generation.

gramonaghan
  • 17th May 2012 08:00pm

There are to many selfish people in this world, and I am not one of them.I am a volunteer with the RSL, and have been for 11 years. Prior to my volunteering with the RSL, I was a volunteer for 25 years with ST. John Ambulance.
I firmly believe we should help others were ever possible, and a thank you should suffice, instead of beening paid.

kdlarue
  • 17th May 2012 07:54pm

I try to maintain a balance, performing favours and doing my own thing.
I have done volunteer work in my hobby area.

lornet5353
  • 17th May 2012 07:54pm

As part of an older generation I feel that values have changed over time and a lot of young p people today have been encouraged to be independent, self sufficient and this can become Selfish. I don't consider myself selfish, I put others first and am a carter for older members of my family.

chickclaire
  • 19th May 2012 08:43am
No I don't regard myself as selfish, I always tend to put others before myself, that's just how I am.!! Plus I get satisfaction making others happy.!

Independence is a top quality on the field, if you play soccer or any other sport you will value your freedom. A selfish game is totally different, it's just viewed by society as impressive because of the reputation it gets. I think sunbaking is selfish act

jules 1
  • 17th May 2012 08:33pm
As part of an older generation I feel that values have changed over time and a lot of young p people today have been encouraged to be independent, self sufficient and this can become Selfish. I...

No I don't regard myself as selfish, I always tend to put others before myself, that's just how I am.!! Plus I get satisfaction making others happy.!

evie
  • 17th May 2012 07:48pm

I think there needs to be a balance. On the one hand you need to put yourself first in some ways so that you can be strong, healthy and happy. This enables you to care for others. If you are only a doormat for others you may become ill and unhappy. And there is nothing more unattractive than a greedy, selfish person who has no thought for or consideration of others. Most people in my circle seem to have some sort of balance between the two - but we are mature people. Young people may begin life in a self-centred way, but with maturity and experience learn to put themselves in others' shoes and help others in various ways.

bliss
  • 21st May 2012 08:11am
I agree Evie

I too agree with you
started early teaching disregarding my self it is true
as Mum said think more of others than you
yes til middle-age at times made me ill
but now I do things by my own free will
learned a lot from Brahma Kumaris meditation and weekend retreats
teaching to learn to love your inner self and we are all souls having human experience and feats
then learning this we are all as one so to speak
so if we allow others to hurt us it is inside our self we must seek
The saying for me that comes to minds
is there but for the grace of 'god' go I
has been said I have been a rescuer most of my life
now my life has not improved materially but can cope with both happiness and strife
still learning and feel will be until the day I die
but life is interesting and feel so am I
jeannie bliss
kind words and a smile cost nothing its true
but I know the miracles they can do

panica
  • 18th May 2012 12:42pm
I think there needs to be a balance. On the one hand you need to put yourself first in some ways so that you can be strong, healthy and happy. This enables you to care for others. If you are only a...

I agree Evie

pebbles
  • 17th May 2012 07:41pm

I love to volunteer at my local community garden every fortnight on a Wednesday , i try to male it a special event for all the other volunteers by bringing something special for morning tea ,and find out what each members favorite cake or desert is and make it for their birthday. , it gives me a good feeling to know im giving back to the community i live in and i get to see other people made happy as well , they say if you do a good deed for someone it may be payed forward , i do think that society has become very self involved and pursuing a material life but there are some out there that like to give back because they get a good feeling doing it , i wouldn't call that selfish .

Noels1968
  • 17th May 2012 07:40pm

I am both a consumer and volunteer at a local "mental health" organization, and on numerous times have given up my lunch so someone can eat. I don't mind giving my food, time, ear and love to others as I believe in Karma.. and I hope that person/people will pay it forward. I pray there is still compassion in this tortured world :)

marcia1945
  • 18th May 2012 08:22pm
I am both a consumer and volunteer at a local "mental health" organization, and on numerous times have given up my lunch so someone can eat. I don't mind giving my food, time, ear and love to...

I totally agree with you Noels my dear girl, somewhere along the line people have forgotten how others are really hurting in society, we have so many that could use some kindness in their lives even if it's only a kind word of encouragement. I know that you get more out of life the kinder you are to others. God told us to love one another as we love ourselves, and this is a good rule to live by. <3 <3

jillderon
  • 17th May 2012 07:34pm

I am classed as selfless. I seem not to be able to say NO when I am asked to volunteer for something in the community. I know I have to stop , but it is very hard

Paulie
  • 17th May 2012 07:32pm

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

pointy
  • 17th May 2012 07:30pm

Rainbow, it's not that a person sees themselves as "selfless" or "selfish", it's how others see you. The real question in this discussion should have been "do you see yourself as even-handed in all your interactions with others". Having known many Pacific Islanders, I have found that they all possess the innate ability to not only pick up on another persons qualities and at times take advantage of that so that all involved have a good time but to also be able to see through the facade of a pretentious person. I use the word pretentious as an alternative to selfish.
I think that anyone traveling anywhere would be foolish if they were to attempt to be anything but themselves.

Anonymous
  • 22nd Jun 2012 10:52am
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

Paulie
  • 22nd Jun 2012 10:42am
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

Anonymous
  • 22nd Jun 2012 10:19am
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

Paulie
  • 22nd Jun 2012 09:56am
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

Anonymous
  • 22nd Jun 2012 04:32am
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

Paulie
  • 19th May 2012 09:15am
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

chickclaire
  • 19th May 2012 08:34am
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

Paulie
  • 18th May 2012 08:07pm
Even handed is a good word to use, if you're referring to Pacific Islanders because they have even handed manners, I agree with you. Never to far to go to help a friend.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules.

chickclaire
  • 17th May 2012 09:30pm
Rainbow, it's not that a person sees themselves as "selfless" or "selfish", it's how others see you. The real question in this discussion should have been "do you see yourself as even-handed in ...

Even handed is a good word to use, if you're referring to Pacific Islanders because they have even handed manners, I agree with you. Never to far to go to help a friend.

Isildae
  • 17th May 2012 07:20pm

I've done some form of volunteer work for most of the past 10 years. My children have been the inspiration for that - I want to show them that work doesn't have to be paid to be rewarding. I'm not sure I consider it to be selfless though, I get a good feel from helping people in need. Not so much from helping people that are quite clearly capable of helping themselves but choose not to!

Does it get me anywhere in life? I guess that depends on what you consider the meaning of life to be and your definition of success. I believe there is no community unless we unite as one.

cashy
  • 29th Aug 2015 11:32pm
I too am a volunteer and it's a great feeling to help someone else, I know exactly what you mean. It doesn't pay money but it pays towards one's self worth.

i would like to think that most of us are unselfish and that we would rather help someone it doesnt matter whether you have money or not you can still help someone with a smile or a helping hand across the street.the thing is some people dont know how to help others i try to help people if i can but as im somewhat physically impaired i am limited to what i can do .i take my hat off to voulenteers . i use the voulenteer drivers when i have an appointment at the hospital. they are great.

midnightlady2010
  • 14th May 2015 09:04am
I don't think it's "smug" to acknowledge the warm and fuzzies that people feel as a result of doing charitable works or good deeds. There's been plenty of behavioural economics studies that...

Thanks for your support in not thinking I'm "smug", I actually took offence at this comment. I'm not better than anyone else, all I was starting was what a good feeling one gets in helping others.

midnightlady2010
  • 14th May 2015 09:01am
It is true, helping others makes you feel good.I've been doing oxfam for a little over a year now and helping out with injures wildlife.the fact of knowing you are helping children have clean...

Thanks for seeing things in a similar way, I don't think I'm "smug" in feeling good.

midnightlady2010
  • 14th May 2015 08:59am
I think this is all getting rather smug - I have given 50% of my work time on a pro bono basis to various HIV organisations since 1982. I don't think that makes me selfless or selfish or anything...

I'm not "smug", it' just gives me a great feeling. Nothing wrong with good with one self, other should perhaps take note of how good it feels.

ceanna jane
  • 10th May 2015 06:20am
I too am a volunteer and it's a great feeling to help someone else, I know exactly what you mean. It doesn't pay money but it pays towards one's self worth.

It is true, helping others makes you feel good.I've been doing oxfam for a little over a year now and helping out with injures wildlife.the fact of knowing you are helping children have clean water,somewhere to sleep, having animals reunited to there loved ones brings joy and makes you feel like you are making a difference in the world.I believe you have to see the bigger picture to be able to step out of your own bubble or go our of your way for others.everyone should help those who are less fortunate.it's what we where taught as kids to share and care for oneanother however as you get older those trates fade with most people

sneakierbiscuit
  • 19th May 2012 04:04am
I think this is all getting rather smug - I have given 50% of my work time on a pro bono basis to various HIV organisations since 1982. I don't think that makes me selfless or selfish or anything...

I don't think it's "smug" to acknowledge the warm and fuzzies that people feel as a result of doing charitable works or good deeds. There's been plenty of behavioural economics studies that demonstrates that this is a common phenomenon and one of the drivers of such behaviour. It's just a fact. Good on people for not pretending that isn't a factor.

de1
  • 18th May 2012 09:02am
I too am a volunteer and it's a great feeling to help someone else, I know exactly what you mean. It doesn't pay money but it pays towards one's self worth.

I think this is all getting rather smug - I have given 50% of my work time on a pro bono basis to various HIV organisations since 1982. I don't think that makes me selfless or selfish or anything at all - I just like doing it and I certainly don't sit around feeling warm and fuzzy and proud of myself. And before anyone asks, I'm not doing it because I or anyone close to me has HIV - I haven't and nor has anyone else in my family. But I HAVE had a lot of fun and met some terrific people and made some very good friends. Self worth? I never even think of it.

midnightlady2010
  • 18th May 2012 07:56am
I've done some form of volunteer work for most of the past 10 years. My children have been the inspiration for that - I want to show them that work doesn't have to be paid to be rewarding. I'm not...

I too am a volunteer and it's a great feeling to help someone else, I know exactly what you mean. It doesn't pay money but it pays towards one's self worth.

Jibsta
  • 17th May 2012 07:20pm

I think you have to have a kind heart

kitekat
  • 22nd Mar 2016 05:39pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

I think a kind heart or just not a cold heart. People are too scared to care about anyone anymore. The me society is the greedy society. When it comes to the crunch people have changed and not for the better. People cant change .

olga
  • 24th Feb 2016 11:25pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

be sensitive and aware there is many people on disadvantage than others. we only see superficial, and judge in a wrong or negative way. If we believe and trust in ourselves we will make a difference in somebody elses lives. eg neighbours having a cup of tea together knowing each other.

olga
  • 24th Feb 2016 11:21pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

sometimes we are wrong saying for eg,,: "no one call me".
But we never call them, better to have own initiative, start doing what we would like to get from others instead of complaining or blaming others. we will see a transformation in ourselves, and a response will come back to us.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2015 12:26pm
Kindness only brings you so far, I think you need to be driven by some other kind of intention and good will too. Or noone will really believe you.

I wish I can agree with every one here. However I cannot agree with you cassy95. Sure kindness only brings you so far. However if kindness is done from the heart with no expectation of getting something in return, then thats the type of kindness that goes a long way.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2015 12:22pm
Kindness only brings you so far, I think you need to be driven by some other kind of intention and good will too. Or noone will really believe you.

Great on you Andreeq. Just get out there and prove it to yourself. Do some kind hearted act for someone close to you, your mum, your dad, brother of sister.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2015 12:20pm
always rem a smile is good for the heart and the soul

Could not agree with you more Dodger. A smile is infectious and in a good way. So everyone should smile at anyone they meet even if the person is a complete stranger. The next time you meet that person they may be your friend.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2015 12:20pm
always rem a smile is good for the heart and the soul

Could not agree with you more Dodger. A smile is infectious and in a good way. So everyone should smile at anyone they meet even if the person is a complete stranger. The next time you meet that person they may be your friend.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2015 12:17pm
I totally support all those souls who give love and kindness out of their hearts truly.

Hi Rainbowstar, its so good to see that there are people like you in this world. The only reason I say this is because for you to say that you "support all those should who give love and kindness out of their hearts" you must be a person who does so themselves.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2015 12:13pm
i agree with Jibsta you have to have a good heart to help others yes there is a lot of selfish people around it,s all about them me,me society modern techogly doesn,t help these days you have ...

Hi Kath, so glad you agreed with Jibsta and yes I agree there are so many selfish people around these days. However as far as I am concerned it makes me happy to focus on the people who do have good hearts and see how such people help others.

Staying positive and thing positive is always better than being negative. When you stay positive and think positive you will see that others around you will be positive. Positivity is infectious.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2015 12:07pm
So they tell me, as my daughter remarked to a gentleman this week said I would help anyone

Hi Frankie, your daughter must be a very lovely young lady, she knows you well and that is the only reason she would have made such a remark about you.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2015 12:04pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

Yes Jibsta, I do have a kind heard. I am always willing to help anyone in any way that I possibly can.

Ranga101
  • 10th Aug 2015 09:10pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

A good heart is some that GIVES and never take anything in return

Anonymous
  • 27th Jul 2015 11:02pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

What makes a good heart?

Anonymous
  • 8th May 2015 10:46am
So they tell me, as my daughter remarked to a gentleman this week said I would help anyone

These days some people don't even care

cassy95
  • 10th Apr 2015 04:39pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

Kindness only brings you so far, I think you need to be driven by some other kind of intention and good will too. Or noone will really believe you.

Anonymous
  • 16th Feb 2015 07:54pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

I like to think that I am kind hearted.

dodger
  • 21st May 2012 07:18pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

always rem a smile is good for the heart and the soul

Rainbowstar
  • 20th May 2012 07:47am
I think you have to have a kind heart

I totally support all those souls who give love and kindness out of their hearts truly.

kath
  • 18th May 2012 09:33am
I think you have to have a kind heart

i agree with Jibsta you have to have a good heart to help others yes there is a lot of selfish people around it,s all about them me,me society modern techogly doesn,t help these days you have f/book ipads mobile phone very little personal contact doesn,t teach any one to talk openly i see it in my own family many problems down the track

frankie
  • 17th May 2012 08:17pm
I think you have to have a kind heart

So they tell me, as my daughter remarked to a gentleman this week said I would help anyone

Help Caféstudy members by responding to their questions, or ask your own in Café Chat, and you will get the chance of earning extra rewards. Caféstudy will match these and donate equally to our two chosen Australian charities.

AMCS
Australian Marine Conservation Society are an independent charity, staffed by a committed group of scientists, educators and passionate advocates who have defended Australia’s oceans for over 50 years.
Reach Out
ReachOut is the most accessed online mental health service for young people and their parents in Australia. Their trusted self-help information, peer-support program and referral tools save lives by helping young people be well and stay well. The information they offer parents makes it easier for them to help their teenagers, too.