Technology & Online

Impersonal communication

Technology & Online

Posted by: Anonymous

29th Jun 2007 03:13pm

With the world of on-line expanding faster than many of us can imagine, people's physical or personal contact with others is becoming more and more limited. Phone calls are being replaced with text messages, meetings with emails and daily experiences such as shopping can now be done without even having to get out of bed.

As our contact with 'real' people declines often our personalities change. We either become free to say or do what we'd like to be able, to without any consequences, or just simply change because we like the idea of being someone else or that we have the to conceal who we are.

Do you say or do things in impersonal communication that you wouldn't normally in real life?

How do you think impersonal communication has changed the way you interact with others?


Comments 74

Anonymous
  • 26th Oct 2012 09:20am

I agree with both of you, but the problem is if you smash technology on the head now, the current community (no matter where you are) will crumble into tiny fragments to be lost forever.

Anonymous
  • 27th Nov 2011 01:08pm

I don't find communication online as being impersonal. Quite the opposite - I enjoy the instant responses from family and friends, and it costs so little.

Many of my friends and family are overseas and sites like Facebook keep me in touch with them, sharing magic moments, photos that speak a thousand words, and support provided when needed. Sure beats snail mail!!

Chrissywin
  • 19th Apr 2011 02:59pm

Thechnology has been a life saver for me. I am currently disabled, and unable to walk much, so I spend all my days at home. I live on my Laptop, and the world or cyber space keeps me in contact with the outside world. I can do all my shopping on-line, pay my bills, talk to people, and friends. Keep in touch with family, and news of what is going on in the outside world. I love the Internet, and am so glad that I can interact with other people.. Helps keep me sane and keeps my mind off my illness. I don't see it as less interaction with REAL people, I see it as MORE interaction with real people. I think that you have the wrong idea, because even the shy can make new friends on-line, and find great things to do.

Anonymous
  • 24th Aug 2010 01:53pm

it makes it easer to talk to people u dont realy get to see much and can also help u make good choices in life because u can just send a im to 1 of ya friends telin them th problm.

also it maks it easer to talk to th hot chick at school that u woldnt dair go up to at school cause thy r popular and u aint.

Kimbo
  • 10th Mar 2010 03:35pm

I find the changes in communication methods have altered the way we now interact. Verbal communication is not as necessary as in the day past. I see this in my children. My daughter 16 tries to comunicate in a one word language. It is near impossible to get her to expand on what she is saying and I find it difficult to understand what she is trying to express. I'm sure her mates understand he but being a baby boomer are some generation in the past.

Email ha almost replaced letter writing and has advantages where you can edit and clean up what you are Turing to express better. I also find it now keeps in touch with what I have to remember for future reference.

I am not partial to text messages but the young ones almost have writers cramp texting each other. Phone calls have moved on from the wall mounted phone which is not portable to those were you can walk around the house or yard with a mobile or hands free device doing the work.

Being a retiree from the airline industry we (117) former colleagues meet once a month over a beer to talk about old times and what our new endeveres are. We actually communicate!

Goulah
  • 15th May 2009 02:31am

A friend has the right idea - he calls it the "anonimity of the monitor". People can be who they want and what they want and invariably they are not themselves. Who cares if you can't spell and mangle English - most of the kids coming out of school nowadays seem to have problems with expressing themselves. Yet on the other hand it is fantastic for those with so-called disabilities, they can get on with their lives and not have the unfortunate and uncomfortable barriers put up by society.

Tasha
  • 18th Mar 2009 04:50pm

I think impersonal contact has got alittle out of hand. But it can also be managed. I am a complete Facebook addict and have had people from the past adding me as a friend. I am very selective on who I add. I have photo's of my family on there. I recently added a girl who I attended High School with l We weren't great friends, but friends. I bumped into her down the shops and was flat out getting a hello from her - yet on facebook we were long lost friends. Is the comfort of friendships or fantasy friendships from the privacy of your home/office or is it all total crap.

enhsu
  • 2nd Oct 2008 01:15pm

With online messaging and SMSes I tend to be more outspoken and open with my thoughts and feelings. Perhps has to do with the fact that I'm non confrontational in personality and voicing out becomes less intimidating with impersonal communication. I do think I spend a lot more time in front of the computer screen than I'd like to normally. It makes communicating with others easier and more efficient with online messaging. However this means I meet up in person less than I used to.

Michael_M9
  • 26th Sep 2008 10:36am

YES
its changed in many ways...

Miz_Kaz
  • 25th Jul 2008 04:32pm

email Vs handwritten letters...I know which I prefer receiving...Something about getting a letter from a friend that has always made me feel warm and fuzzy. I make a cuppa, make myself cosy and sit down for a good read. I find that emails lack that certain something. I avoid them as much as I can when it comes to real friends.
For myself, I find that I can become rather lazy with emails. I don't take them seriously. I feel affronted by people wanting replies as soon as you read the email - just because they are obsessional about them, doesn't mean I should be. You don't expect an immediate reply to a handwritten letter, just as you shouldn't with an email. So yes, I guess I have changed the way I intereact with others when it comes to email - I have become a little beligerant, refusing to reply immediately even though I could, just because I can. Because I don't want to be dictated to in that way...sigh. Take time to smell the roses and all that.
As for things said and done, I enjoy Instant Messaging with acquaintances and friends overseas and interstate. I am possibly more open in communication to acquaintances than I would be with people at home.
Perhaps we do that because we can hide behind the keyboard.

Dirk
  • 24th Jul 2008 03:32pm

I hate communicating by email or text because you can't see the body language and therefore might misjudge what someone is saying - particularly because many people are really sloppy in their emails. I check and re-check my emails and text messages so that there is less chance of being misunderstood. I use text as a last resort and will not hold a conversation over email or text. If you want to talk about something, ring me!

friskyfrills
  • 16th Jul 2008 07:01pm

I use the internet extensively for "online" communications. One thing I can say, is that while I may take a few more risks in things I would not normally say, I never drift far from my true self. The thing I like the most about this type of communication is that noone judges you. They cant see you (unless you have a webcam on) so you don't have to impress and nor do they. You get a good picture of the person before the facade is in place and with the enormous amount of people online from a vast diversity of cultures and preferences, you also get a chance to learn more about people who you would not encounter on a personal level in your daily life. Impersonal as it may be, if not for this medium and indeed this forum, I would not know of the existance of "Peter from Sydney"

ronnie
  • 25th Jun 2008 01:02am

i think that for me i t hasn't changed much it means i can stay in touch with most people who are long distance away or are busy . the net and mobile are on 24/7 now for most people. i like to control who contacts me and when whereas my friend has her mobile on 24/7, i have no idea why she complains when someone sends her a text at two in the morning but i say you could turn it off and she says they should know when a good time is but sometimes you think something and just send it without looking at the time? who is right?what do you think? do most people know the right etiquette for smsing and email. DOES CAPITAL LETTERS ALWAYS MEAN YOU ARE ANGRY!!!! or is it all interpetation on each person.
i am the same either way with most things like email or mobile no difference their my personality is the same.
we interact more with others but when abuse happens then it is hard to get away from it because we leave ourselves so open we give out email address mobile telephone etc so if you were in normal situation then you would just hang up or go away
but abusive emails and sms continue whether you read them or not and blocking is sometimes very hard when i t is happeneing right then and there.
people are forgetting how to act and dress around others and they seem to think everyone thinks like them but they don't . everyone does not have the same manners or lack of nor the same values.
impersonal communication in a way takes away the personal getting into someones life and knowing them to some extent. people used to drop by for a drink now they sms or email or phone so i guess it goes both ways .

di
  • 17th Jun 2008 09:57am

I think there are positives and negatives.We wont be aware of all the negatives for some time,like any new technology it will take perspective to look backwards in time and see changes.Certainly without face to face communication it allows for misinterpretation.Facial expressions can give the same sentence totally different meanings.This is a huge drawback for the new technology.Some also are more inclined to be aggressive without face to face contact,or more blunt,and therfore less sensitive.This can be a good thing ,if people would like to be more assertive and txt,email etc allowing them to be.Despite what others say,email and txt can also delay communication..........someone can delay replying,or even loose the communication(which may be true or not)depending on what suits.I didnt communicate with my brother for some time as he was hostile,and because of distance email while useful didnt allow us to meet and repair our relationship.It does let you have time to craft ideas that face to face may only occur at a later date as an afterthought.

I have said things in email I wouldnt have had time to think of face to face,its improved my communication however it hasnt made it better!Its just changed it,some of thats good some of thats bad.If ilook at my kids,I would say their communication is better than mine was at their age,they are in constant communication......even in the wee hours.

Panic man
  • 12th Jun 2008 01:08pm

nothing to say to it... we are all becoming robots and our chidren do not know how to relate to other. this life has destroyted the basic fabric of society

admiral
  • 4th Jun 2008 11:23am

The art of communications disappeared with the adventof the telephone.
Ask those who take service calls of the rude remarks from customers? who would not ever make those remarks face to face.
It even goes further with remarks to women worse than remarks to men.

Anonymous
  • 4th Jun 2008 08:26am

I have always been a person that didn't really like to express my opinion in a face to face contact but usually by the way of the written word ie I'd write a letter expressing my opionion...whether I was happy with the person or not. I still do write letters on occassion but can now use new mediums of email and text. I actually find that I can voice my opinion now even quicker than before and don't have time to regret what I've done as I usually get an instant response not like the two weeks or so it takes for the round trip of the post.

I also like that I can have a thought or see something I want to share with a friend and it is only a text message away. Yes it is true we don't often get face to face contact which I might not anyway unless I physically see the person but sometimes the monotonous routine of my day is broken up with a quirky comment from a freind.

peterv
  • 12th May 2008 05:41pm

Maybe I'm the odd one out here.I don't have a mobile or any other portable communication device and my life is none the poorer for it.I do use email and messenger but mainly for getting in touch with people who are not close by.
I may be old school but you can't beat a good time actually interacting on a personal basis.
By the way,where's my carrier pidgeon??

Mazzy
  • 19th Apr 2008 06:53am

I tend to agree with you. Over the past few years I've bought a faster laptop. I've changed from liking to do businesss in person for things like insurance, etc to doing it all online.

I get to talk with people for hours each day. Then home to unpaid work. I think it's the feeling of being incredibly busy in today's society that may contribute to more use of 'impersonal' communication.

Generally I have 2 personas anyway. A professional one for work but much more laid back at home. I do the same with emails and texts depending on who it's to. Certainly a benefit of having a good winge or complaint via email is being a whole lot easier on the nerves than doing it in person. So, in a way this form of communication can bypass some inhibitions that may have otherwise prevented one from voicing their opinion.

Technology allows us to communicate with many more people in a time frame but on another level. I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing.

Cheers

I

Bad_manners
  • 16th Apr 2008 11:51am

I actually use Windows Live Messenger to keep in contact with friends on the other side of the world. Mostly in England. I use that and a few online forums to communicate with them all. I have one very close friend in England and I chat online with her almost every day via MSN or via SMS. On special occasions I will call her, but as it's so expensive to use the phone, I rarely do that, preferring to use Instant Messaging.

I email one of my cousins in England on a regular basis and the rest not so regularly, but it's more than I would do if I had to actually sit down and write a letter or make a phone call to them.

It also means we can update each other on how both of our dads are travelling healthwise, a lot faster than snail mail.

PGS
  • 6th Apr 2008 10:12am

I'll reply to 1 SMS, then call if it looks to be a constant thing - instructions / directions / etc. I don't go out much - don't feel the need to - so don't see many people outside work. All up, it hasn't much changed how I am.

heidi
  • 3rd Mar 2008 10:51am

I think there has been a decline in the interpersonal skills of younger people due to the increase in e-mail and testing where rules of correct use of english do not apply.
I think that if you don't have the nerve to say what you want directly to the person then using a txt or e-mail to do it is chicken.

smokey
  • 4th Feb 2008 09:28pm

Impersonal communication is when someone does not have the Decency to say its over and txt instead

Ernie
  • 4th Feb 2008 06:25pm

People's manners are going down hill rapidly. Phones are so intrusive!

gramonaghan
  • 4th Feb 2008 03:14pm

Text messages seem to me to be a rude way of connection with a friend, or a business partner.

caz
  • 16th Jan 2008 10:02pm

Well, I txt exactly as I'd say it although I have to say...its made making offers on cars and things for sale easier. I dont usually like bargaining but I do like to get one! Now if I see something advertised, I will just txt and say "this is how much I've got - if you'll take it ring me". I do have to say, I dont like to get into a txt fight with my hubby cause it seems never ending!

caz
  • 16th Jan 2008 10:02pm

Well, I txt exactly as I'd say it although I have to say...its made making offers on cars and things for sale easier. I dont usually like bargaining but I do like to get one! Now if I see something advertised, I will just txt and say "this is how much I've got - if you'll take it ring me"

Vonnie
  • 16th Jan 2008 08:22pm

In some cases it can be impersonal but that really depends on the context and whether or not is the normal communication method used to contact others. Personally I like both email and sms but only as a quick means of contact between phone calls and face to face conversations.

Mostly I find that the language has deteriorated significantly. Spelling is attrocious and the meaning of words have changed dramatically that the English language is almost unrecognisable. Worse still is that it has become common for foul language to be used in everyday conversations. Politeness, courtesy and common decency has almost disappeared. There is little respect for others and a lack of responsibility for one's own actions. This shows in a number of ways....loud mobile phone conversations in public or crowded places; phones ringing/text messaging whilst in movie theatres; answering phones in toilets, meetings, appointments. The list goes on.

I'm not saying that 'electronic' communication is the sole reason for this but it has contributed significantly as anonymity can conceal the identity of the bad mannered individual. Used with good manners and in conjunction with personal contact, it can be a great tool.

denise
  • 14th Jan 2008 03:56pm

i am actually happier that you can now do everything on the net rather than go out as i go crazy at the shops as lines are so long and texting is cheaper than staying on the phone ages and then getting a huge phone bill.The only thing that saddens me is i dont go out any more at night im always home as people never mind the own buisness like if they are drinking and im not its all i here all night,why arent you drinking and one lady spent most of the night nagging me shoving a bottle towards me,why cant people just be happy and respect your decision?whats it to them if i dont drink?

Hartmut
  • 9th Jan 2008 05:55pm

Like with so many of our inventions, there is always a positive and a negative side to them. As with the car, likewise, our many modern 'communication' devices are no exceptions. However, the trend of rather 'mobile-phoning', 'texing' or e-mailing - instead of 'real' contact does not bode well for our societies in general.

I know a mother who lives downstairs and her daughter who lives upstairs in a unit. The daughter e-mails her instead of just talking to her. She says it's more 'convenient'. A youth has recently died because he got 'addicted' to a PC-Game. He did not eat or sleep and had obviously lost contact with the real world.

Of course these are extreem examples, but with the digital revolution racing ahead, will the new, slick digital world prove to be more aluring, more exiting, more easy to live in , and with - than the REAL world?

I would say, the best way to use this new devices is with the real magic of BALANCE - not too much and not too little.
Why is balance magic? Because everything works with balance, but nothing will ever work without it; be that with techical matters or in relationships.

Nicky G
  • 19th Dec 2007 02:07pm

Impersonal communication definitely changes the tone of what you are saying -it's easier to sound patronising or angry in a written note/email/text than when you are talking person-to-person. People can't read your expressions and body language or hear the tone of your voice so they have to make assumptions about the mood and the context and beliefs and history of the person behind the written communication.

reckless
  • 19th Dec 2007 11:34am

merry christmas , happy new year and god bless everyone

Anonymous
  • 17th Dec 2007 04:44pm

Communication in today's society has greatly improved and greatly diminished. Some improvements are as follows:

1. EPIRB
2. Marine Radio
3. Mobile Phones
4. Bluetooth
5. E-Mail
6. Instant Messenger.
7. Pagers.
8. Chat sites

Although these are some improvements. There are also some negative effects of simpler communication such as:

1. Rudeness has increased.
2. Violence has increased.
3. People have lost the art of talking face to face or even meeting new people.
4. Gate crashing at parties is a huge problem.
5. Hacking into peoples accounts is more easier.
6. Viruses are more predominant.
7. People don't see other people. They tend to sit at home infront of the computer and use instant messenger.
8. Information can be misunderstood more easily.

There's good and bad with today's communication systems. Although really. There's good and bad with all systems. It just depends on the reasons why your using it and how you use it. Use the fource wisely ! The choice is yours.

Amy
  • 14th Dec 2007 11:24am

I think that the "modern" technology these days can be a good and bad thing. I say things that i wouldn't normally say face to face in case they get too physical. But at the same time i have had people reading my text or emails and taking things the wrong way so i have had to ring them to explain. There is always good and bad with everything that has come out and will come out. We have to make the decision whether or not we will let it be a good or bad thing and not control our lives.

Anonymous
  • 3rd Dec 2007 05:55pm

I can often confront someone with a difficult issue more easily via email than I would face to face or even over the phone. I think it's because you have time to think about what you want to say, and you can get your whole message across before you get interupted!

Di
  • 22nd Nov 2007 10:45am

I think there was always something nice( and still is) about receiving a posted letter from someone. It feels more personal and gives more meaning to a message when more time and thought has been put into the communication which has not been abbreviated by symbols. When I was young the anticipitation of the mailman coming once a week in the outback bringing news from loved ones and the inevitable bills was something to look forward to.
Di
Sandstone Point
22.11.07

Fi
  • 7th Nov 2007 11:27pm

Hi Peter,
Yes I think that you definately say things in impersonal communication that you normally wouldn't have the confidence to say if you were face to face. Even a phone call can be much more difficult than saying something via text, or email, or even online chat as there is no voice expression, you can hide behind it and the other person cannot actually see or hear your emotions. Sometimes you can say something impersonally that you would never say face to face as you think you do not need to 'face' the person at all or not for some time about it.

Impersonal communication has changed how I interact with others as I can hide behind my phone, my computer, and people do not know how I really am feeling, or looking! I can be in my pyjamas with curlers in my hair and still be chatting to someone!

Michelle
  • 1st Nov 2007 09:48pm

While there are good points about msn, messages, emails, etc (I have time to think about my response, I can extricate myself from a conversation i don't want to be in more easily), it is sad when I realise how much of my communication takes place through these mediums, and even sadder to realise that without them I would lose too many friendships simply because I or they have moved away, or we're too busy to easily ring or see each other. My personality doesn't change much with friends but with people I don't know so well I might talk slightly differently usually to fit in with how they talk - which in itself is interesting to observe!

Jo
  • 28th Oct 2007 02:07pm

I find it easier to be more confrontational in an email as I am not a typically confrontational person and have always found it easier to put my grevences into writing.
I find that I dont 'talk' to people as much because I usually text or email as it seems more convenient at the time but in hindsight I always miss the conversation.

RussJ
  • 18th Oct 2007 08:41pm

Impersonal communication: The thing I like about chat rooms eg as a medium for communication, is that by typing in the text it gives you time to think through what you are tying to say and if not too trigger happy to amend it before sending off the reply.

Face to face conversations especially in the form of debate between two people often has the 'listener' second guessing what the speaker is saying. I heard recently that one thing that might contribute to this is that we can think at around 1000 words a minute, talk at somewhere around 150 words a minute and process around 300 words a minute when received thought those sensitive audio receptors - the ears. [ I think this might relate to people who speak English as their mother tongue]

This disparage promotes poor listening skills as we can process about twice as many words we hear compared to what we can speak. This is why when someone is telling us a story or giving detailed facts that are drawn out we get impatient and often find ourselves way ahead of the speaker and then lose track of the conversation
.
With written communication as opposed to verbal it doesn't matter what my typing speed is, the text the person on the other side of the conversation receives can be read at a relatively uniform pace as determined by their abilities to process the information.






Anonymous
  • 23rd Sep 2007 04:05pm

I am very old fashioned, I like the English language and like to meet people in person to see facial expressions and body language during conversations. It seems that with texting and sms etc all are trying to be fast, and short including the spelling with no grammar or punctuation, which is the basis of personal expression. Being solitary and hiding behind the computer or mobile phone promotes people speaking their minds but without consequence, for a lot of meaning can be taken out of context with the verbal nuance and body language absent.
I remember a quote made by Charlton Heston(actor) when being interviewed, "It is easier to be any character and the most difficult to be ones-self " I think it is now more difficult to be ones-self for we now have impersonal communication to hide behind.

tasha
  • 21st Sep 2007 02:30pm

yes i beleive people today are losing the abilty to interact personally with each other. A text or an email is great but lets not replace this with good old fashioned face to face conversation and meeting over a lovely dinner or lunch with great friends in a great cafe.

denjoy
  • 21st Sep 2007 10:45am

I don' agree with Peter. I remain the person I am and continue to do what I,ve always done in regard to personal contact. The new technology is just an addition to my ways of communicating or searching for information.........denjoy

EagleBearMan
  • 17th Sep 2007 05:02pm

no matter what the circumstances we find ourselfs in we are but who and what the creator made us to be.No matter if that is in real life and time or some where off in the relam of cyber space .Who and what we are will always come thru and those that pretend to be something they are not are soon exposed for the false face they present to thers.Always honor your family /ancestors by being who and what the creator made you to be and do not be misled by those who portray false faces

woogle
  • 9th Sep 2007 03:47pm

Gone are the days where break ups are emotional and heart felt. I got dumped over a sms it was the worst feeling ever. To think a two year relationship isn't worth talking face to face or at least a phone call. What a cop out.
But I don't mind using sms when getting to know someone because I feel more secure about joking and flirting when i'm not in the same room.. I guess it's coz they cant see me blush..

dhgarske
  • 6th Sep 2007 08:32pm

the one thing you have to remember about a reply is that it will be out in the world. even if it is a personal email, it could get forwarded to alot of people.

rach
  • 22nd Aug 2007 08:15pm

It definately changes the way we deal with confrontation and having the confidence to speak to people in a way that you normally wouldn't if you were face to face. Most people will have an arguement over the phone with someone rather than face to face, because you don't have the fear of it turning physical and you don't see the reaction on the person's face to know how they are feeling about the situation and the oh so popular eye rolls and hand gestures we all do when on the phone and you don't really care for the conversation!
I do love sms, it's just so quick and easy and you don't have to waste time with small talk when you are only after one thing, and so on......
I work in a call centre and I know I speak to people differently now than when I worked in retail. I'm not trying to sell anything, so that helps! And when people are just going and on, they don't see all my facial expressions!

fredbarns
  • 19th Aug 2007 04:42pm

It is definitively a sign of the times, but when you think about it. years ago when this great land of Australia was young, there was very little communication between most people because of the remoteness of this great land and of its sparseness. Now more than ever we are not limited by our visits. I remember as a kid when we would go and visit relatives, sometimes it would take hours to get there. Now we can just send an email to keep in touch. You are not limited by time, when you can send a message. If the person you are trying to contact is not available, then they will still get the message. I think technology is good in that way, but you can't play sport online, well you can play virtual but that is not the same. I think it is up to each individual to work out the balance of impersonal and personal communication. Some times it is good to be able to step outside of the daily grind also, you can make up a new identity when you communicate with other people online. Even this should be limited by the individual as to who they are and who they will become. If any thing the use of impersonal communication sparks the ever waiting personal contact which we all need from time to time. Nothing can be person to person. But communication is communication and it is the thought that counts not how we relay it don't you think.

Coxy
  • 2nd Aug 2007 10:31pm

I find that I can say or do things that I normally would not say over the internet or through text messages.

I would really like to be able to talk to people in person more but it is almost too easy to express yourself over the internet and if you want you can just leave when you like. Unlike in personal contact where it may be awkward or more humiliating.

Coxy
  • 2nd Aug 2007 10:31pm

I find that I can say or do things that I normally would not say over the internet or through text messages.

I would really like to be able to talk to people in person more but it is almost too easy to express yourself over the internet and if you want you can just leave when you like. Unlike in personal contact where it may be awkward or more humiliating.

sunshine
  • 2nd Aug 2007 03:33pm

i personally treat people the same way in both areas of life, People desserve to be treated the same so If ppl ask me to tell them the truth then by asking the question then in there mind they are ready for the answer. So yes Ill treat everyone the same. My friends say I have no filter and they love that about me and they dont want me to change but they get worried about me as well because of the fact my non-filter mouth can get me in trouble. But with any person they act the way they do cause they know how to cope with the situations they put them selves in. If I have a cheaky attitude towards people then ud asume I am good enough with words to get out of situations I get myself into.

As with the times things change, But one thing will always stay the same, and that is the need to interact with others of the same species and be recognised as "alive" . Thats why Nightclubs and social groups exist. If people that are internet junkies go and meet in a area full of computers, "net cafe" Who are we to say that is a bad way of getting out and communicating with others. Has it ever appeard to anyone that maybe this is the only way some people can communicate with others, through the internet and fantasy games.

Ask yourself this. Do you have enough power to tell another Human being that the way they live there life is not the correct way to live it, Just because they dont live the "normal" life.

Anonymous
  • 1st Aug 2007 06:06pm

I attended a seminar on this issue not long ago and I thought it was really interesting, in that it highlighted for me just how different people are on-line. we are all great looking, because we only reveal the best bits, and we all love to have fun and love funny people blah blah blah...
It's sad though, because you love a person for the little things, the things that make them different... and on-line, especially myspace everyone is a beach loving partier, having competitions over the number of 'friends' and comments. I wish people would realise that people you have never met online, and this again expecially applies to myspace, they don't care about how you are, really, they are asking you a question so you respond and make them look more popular. Then they start considering these people as their real friends, but its so easy to be funny when you have twenty minutes to think of a reply, and its so easy to be pretty when you only have to show one image, from one day, edited, at one time in your life- so although you think these are great amazing people you are speaking to, its not even really them. People are sacraficing real friends, real people, who really care, for people who only really consider them as a number.

Anonymous
  • 24th Jul 2007 08:37pm

I have to agree with hails.......we need to have interaction on a real life basis so many people let the internet take over their lives. As for technology it sometimes does my head in....I spent almost two hours today trying to get an in home measure and quote for new blinds....."if you want to speak to this department press 1"....if not press 2 etc etc 28 mins later..."an operator will be with you shortly".....yeah okaaaaay....hang up!!!.....lol

Hails
  • 24th Jul 2007 01:09pm

It's no wonder the world of online is expanding faster than many of us can imagine. Communication is changing and it's no wonder. If only we could go back to the way life was before technology over took our lives. I would much rather talk to people face-to-face rather then through text messages, e-mails etc. Technology is taking over our lives. Instead of living life through technology we should also be interacting with others. Lets get ride of some technology and interact with others in real life.

Simone
  • 22nd Jul 2007 05:58am

For me it has actually expanded my personal contact in that it is easy to organise groups to meet up. As a mum of two children under three, we have many weekly activities, playgroups, mother's groups, other friends with children. Emailing the plan to the group means you can check what's happening for the week in your own time. Much better than having to ring around everyone. You may not be as bothered.

Anonymous
  • 19th Jul 2007 10:20am

I beleive that these means of comunication, while handy and fast, are being used in excess of their purpose. I beleive that thier usage in limited amounts are beneficial and can get a message along quickly and fast, but they are now making our lives more solitude.
The amount of computer usage for things such as myspace and msn control alot of teenagers lives, and stop things such as physical activity and completeing homework, which leads to problems further down the road.
Not talking face to face may also lead to confusion, as you are unable to hear the tone, pitch, speed, sarcasm, etc. of their voice and you may inturpret their meaning to something completely different.

Bec
  • 18th Jul 2007 05:05pm

You have to be careful with impersonal communication because who you think you are talking to might not actually be the right person. With increasing use of email and texting, it is simple for people to pretend they are someone they are not, especially over msn. You never know for 100% sure who you are talking to, unless it is face to face.
A problem with impersonal communication is that emphasis and tone of voice can't be detected - they are just words on a page. Emphasis of different words can completely change the meaning of the text and can sometimes offend people when offence is not intended.
You can't see who the person really is or what they really mean, and a face to face conversation is definately the best way to go with a friend, unless time is a limited factor.
Impersonal communication is definately changing society and human interaction. Life is not an email / msn / sms .
bec

Mia90
  • 18th Jul 2007 04:58pm

I personally do think that impersonal communication has changed not necessarily the way that I interact with others but I can definitely see how these new communication methods have changed my friends and peers. I find technology can be a mask for some of the more shy people. It gives them confidence and a chance for them to have the characteristics that they wish they could have. This can be both a good and bad thing. It is a positive thing because it gives everyone a chance to be ‘who they want to be’ and gives people confidence to say and do what they would do in person but lack the confidence, unfortunately it also gives the other people who are on the other end a ‘false identity’ and when/if they meet in person both ends could be devastated to find out the others true identity/personality. This is not always the case and I’m sure that the people who do this don’t do it intentionally but this can happen. There have been a few occasions where I’ve finished having a conversation on msn and then I’ve thought to my self hey why did I say that? That’s not something I would usually say to someone! It’s sometimes just easier to say thing you don’t want to say when using technology.

I find that these new communication methods are also very antisocial as people don’t learn to have ‘proper’ face to face conversations, we are losing the ability to think of things on the spot. With msn, sms, emails etc if you can’t think of anything else to say you just say you have to go and that is that, but if you are out having lunch with someone and have a mind blank where you cant thing of anything to say then what are you going to do? Say— Sorry I know our meals haven’t come yet but I just remembered I have to go…

I know my opinion sounds very negative but it isn’t all, the technology of course can be a time saver. For a party or a meeting instead of having to call up 100 people you can simply write one email or sms and send it to them all with one click.

Sam
  • 15th Jul 2007 12:18pm

I believe the expansion of technology, especially in communication, has both negative and positive consequences. If one is sick or disabled, one can talk to their friends through programs like AIM or MSN, have shopping ordered over the internet brought straight to their door, and even do business deals over the internet. This definitely makes life a lot easier for those with added difficulties, and I have personally seen a friend grow through developed communication.

However, there is no denying that new communication technologies are decreasing face to face social activity. One of the major disadvantages of this is that through indirect social activity one cannot see anothers facial and body expressions... therefore it is easier for misunderstandings to develop. For example, a sarcastic joke may be taken seriously and be offensive as one cannot hear tone of voice over the internet/text messages.

Also, it is dangerous to meet friends over the net in some situations. Noone can ever be 100% sure who they are talking to over the net... but we've all heard this before!

I guess it is up to the individual to decide whether this increase in technologies is a good or bad thing... I am undecided.

tarns
  • 14th Jul 2007 11:29am

For a while, when I discovered the 'online world', I did let it take over my life, to a certain extent....I suppose it was the novelty factor of it...and also, there was something missing in my life back then, that I felt 'online communication' fulfilled, in me.

But now that I have a happy and fulfilling offline life...I dont feel the 'need' to be online nowhere near as often....its a 'want' from time to time, rather than a need.

Some people can fall into a trap of, their whole lives revolve around online communication, so much so that they 'forget' to get out there and socialise with others...if its working for them for a time, thats OK...but as long as they dont let the Net rule their entire life. There has to be a balance, in my opinion.

ally
  • 27th Jul 2007 10:19am

Bottom line is Peer pressure is alive and well! Guess these days if you dont have a mobile, computer...etc its hard to catch anyone at home on the good old telephone! Time seems to rule also.......much quicker to send a text or email than to make the time to call or what was that other thing we used to do????????? Oh yes....................send a letter!

ally
  • 23rd Jul 2007 12:21pm
For a while, when I discovered the 'online world', I did let it take over my life, to a certain extent....I suppose it was the novelty factor of it...and also, there was something missing in my...

Hi tarns, thanks for your reply. 


I'm interested in the 'online world' you discovered. Was this just communicating with people that you already knew, i.e messenger, email etc or were you using something like Second Life.  Were your friends in the online world people you had never met before (in person) and if so how did you feel your relationships differed with online people to real life people?

Anonymous
  • 12th Jul 2007 08:23pm

i think its creepy, that we are becoming so socially detached.....u can actually have 'relations' over the internet now. Its some product for japan and u choose what u want to look like and that and u buy this program that has werid attachments that track ur movements and put them into the computer. i just think thats wrong that u can do everything without ever talking or seeing anyone. it could just be technology moving faster, making life easier but i dont see any positives to come from any of this detachment from society.

Anonymous
  • 12th Jul 2007 05:02pm

When online there is no such thing as shy to me, I guess it is becuase i know i cannot get hurt. Sometimes when you do not have someone in front of you its easier to say whats on your mind, whether its i love you or i am going to kill you (J/K). In real life i am polite quite and generally do not say what on my mind. As i know technology is getting bigger and bigger i make sure i always have time to go out and have a coffee with friends to keep the personal touch. And just to add in, i dont do online shoppign cuase i dont know what people have done to my food !!!! HEHEHE

Jess
  • 12th Jul 2007 04:31pm

I hope that i am the same person online, as i am in real life. Its not as if try to be someone else or lie about myself. But you can never be too sure about other people. There are some freaky people out there who pretend to be other people and lie about themselves to either look good to viewers or prey on unsuspecting children.
It is also always hard to understand how a person is feeling as well, because it is hard to show emotion over the internet.

Jess
  • 12th Jul 2007 04:10pm

There are four main things i enjoy about the 'msn' type environment.
I like the fact that you could be wearing anything and the other person cannot judge you, becuase they cant see you.
I also like the slang or colloqialisms used like 'brb' meaning be right back and 'gtg' meaning got to go.
The other thing i like is that you can have time to think about your response, whilst typing.

x-empty-bliss-x
  • 12th Jul 2007 04:02pm

I hope I am the same person over the internet as I am in real. I think I have personally used things like msn to dump someone once because i thought it would be less painful for the both of us, but it wasnt it was less painful for me because I didnt see his reaction. Since then I try not to talk about people over msn because it never ends well.

However in my group of friends their are a fair few of them who use the internet as an excape. They start fights, dump people, talk about people behind their back and are genrally just horribale to people through the internet.

I think impersonal conntact has changed the way we interact with others by not teaching us how to deal with situations properly.

nina
  • 11th Jul 2007 10:34pm

I think there are both some advantages and drawbacks to impersonal communication. It's quick and easy to send a short SMS to someone instead of having to talk on the phone and make polite conversation when you really don't have time. But I also know from experience that I certainly say things that I wouldn't normally say face to face. I think people are more confident then they would usually be because you have time to think about what you are going to say and you're not caught off guard so in a way it's good for shy people. However, a major problem with impersonal communication is that people can take something you say the wrong way because you can't hear the person's tone of voice. For example you might be only joking or being sarcastic and people will take you seriously and get offended so it's definately not the right thing for everyone.

ally
  • 23rd Jul 2007 12:05pm
I think there are both some advantages and drawbacks to impersonal communication. It's quick and easy to send a short SMS to someone instead of having to talk on the phone and make polite...

Thanks nina.  I know what you mean, I heard recently that 50% of all emails are misinterpreted, which is quite an alarming statistic when you consider how much many of us rely on email these days.

Z
  • 11th Jul 2007 09:01pm

Impersonal communication can be negative and positive. I feel that when talking through msn I have more confidence to say what I'm really feeling, mainly because the person that I'm talking to isn't standing in front of me. I probably wouldn't say the same things to their face. And although doing it over the internet may seem harsh it is also just easier and the person you are speaking to can truly realise what you point of view is and understand what it is that you are having problems with. Although the communication you are using is impersonal it also means that you are able to talk more with friends or family, especially if you dont live in the same city or even country together. It means that you are able to communicate regularly instead of worrying about how much the phone bill would be if you talked to them for hours on end. You are also able to talk to more than just one person, which you are not able to do using the phone. But on a negative perspective there is much of a relationship with the person you are talking to, you are not able to hear in their voices the mood they are in or whether or not something you want to say should be said or not. It can also distance yourself from the people you are talking to, because you talk to them so often on the internet or with text messages its then harder to make normal conversation in person.

Darrin
  • 11th Jul 2007 02:56pm

I think at times impersonal comunication gives people too much freedom to communicate. For example how many text or emails do you get sent that people wouldn't send if they had to pick up the phone or speak to you face-to-face?

While these new communication mediums have their benefits they also have their problems. While they can enhance our way of life in business and personally they are also becoming a distraction and making us less productive.

How many times have you been included in an email conversation where several people have been adding their 2 cents worth and you have come back from a meeting to 10-20 emails that take you 5 minutes to go through to see if there is anything worthwhile finding that there wasn't ... or that the conversation wan't work related.

How many people are sitting at home right now, either unemployed, a student or the "home parent" that are chatting away on messenger or a chat room instead of looking for a job, studying or doing the domestic chores and caring for the child that they chose to stay at home for.

In previous generations the wife stayed at home because keeping the home organised took a lot longer than it does now and a meal took most of the afternoon to prepare and cook. With modern advances we have saved ourselves enormous amounts of time through new technology but we are now using new technology to waste our time.

My girlfriend often has a go at me for not replying to her text messages. Often the the 3rd or 4th message that doesn't really warrant a reply but becasue she sent me one she expects one back.

Or how often have you spent a couple of dollars on text messages trying to decide what to do for dinner instead of picking the phone up and calling?

The other aspect of all this communication ties in with the barrage of computer games that children have available. How many children will tell you that they are bored. They have no attention span in anything they do. These children can't entertain themselves anymore becasue there is always something there to to get their attention and provide entertainment for them. Whether it's a TV, computer or game console, not to mention the way they block the world out by walking around everywhere with an MP3 player plugged into their ears. If you do say hello as you pass them in the street they never hear you.

At this point this 35 year old realises that he sounds like his grandparents.

Getting back to Peter's first question ... yes I do. It is easier to be less guarded if the person can not see the emotion in what you are communicating becasue you can always saveyourself by saying that you "didn't mean it that way".

With the line of work I am in I have learnt that it is harder for people to say no if they are face to face. We need to be smarter about the way we use new technology.

groucho wiggle
  • 5th Jul 2007 08:19am

I say all the same things in impersonal comms that I do face to face. Although I do have a couple of online personalities/avatars in situations where gender can affect interaction.

Yes, we're definitely becoming more isolated physically and the thing I've noticed most is how bad my dress sense has become. (Why fuss and bother when no-one can see you?). I have tracksuits for all occasions, yay!

jaffe
  • 29th Jun 2007 05:14pm

Whilst I do believe the internet and txting are changing subjectivity, I can't help but object to framing this change under the heading of "impersonal" communication. So much is pre-supposed by the question once this is done. I would suggest that modern communication (email, texts etc) need not be viewed as impersonal, and can in fact facilitate "personal" communication. The example of shyness was given in the first response. The ease of modern communication often enables us to stay far more in touch with our loved ones and friends than has ever previously been possible, especially when distance is a factor. Certainly the way in which it alters subjectivity may not always be positive, but to homogenise modern communication as "impersonal" seems to lead answers to the question in negative ways.

On the subject of concealing our identities and becoming someone else, people have been doing this for centuries and are quite capable of doing it face to face without the aid of the internet, emails or texting. Just my view. Cheers!

Alicia
  • 29th Jun 2007 04:27pm

I am generally a shy person, and try to avoid conflict as much as possible, especially with people I don't know. Through the art of text, I have been able to speak my mind more often, and tell people what I really think. There is always a time and place thoug, as I would not go out of my way to hurt another person, but more so let them know how I am feeling.

The mobile phone has stepped in as a type of midiator with a lot of my friendships. Time is limited due to home and work duties, so you usually resort to a quick tect message or e-mail, which you can choose to reply to when time suits you, not when they show up at your door, or when the phone rings. The down fall of this, is that I may come across as being rude, but as a first time new mum, most people understad the predicement of "no time."

When I am able to, I love nothing more than hanging out with my friends and having a good chin wag. The texts and e-mails keep me in contact, but nothing beats a face to face conversation.

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