Pregnancy & Parenting

What is more effective at behaviour management?

Pregnancy & Parenting

Posted by: cooliosmooth

2nd Aug 2017 07:53pm

What is more effective at behaviour management ?
Smacking the misbehaving child, or sending to time outs.

I often come across both kinds of children and generally find that the child that has been smacked is more respectful.

Thoughts ?

Comments 12

Mollie-Rose31370438
  • 12th Jan 2018 01:48pm

Time outs are always my first choice. 90% of the time a time out followed by a quick chat when my children have calmed down is effective. When they've broken something or hurt someone intentionally, that's when they might get a smack, but that's still paired with a time out and a chat. Time outs give me a chance to level myself as well.

Migaloo
  • 21st Aug 2017 12:05pm

Hmm l got more than smacking as a child , my father had a cat of 9 tails which is a strap cut with stripes at the end , one day l actually copped a stock whip from him around my legs as l hid the strap under the house , must say l did come up with a lot of respect for my parents in the end as l grew up , so yes l think there is nothing wrong with a whop on the bottom, but may be straps and certainly stock whips are a bit much for a child.
I used a hand at times a bottom is well padded and l have children grown up that are great and still respect me to day 47 years on.

devon
  • 8th Aug 2017 12:03pm

Sending to time out is the more effective disciplinary action as it helps communicate respectfully. Smacking is a form of violence, encourages distrust and is used by individuals who are too lazy to adopt other forms of discipline.

helen30692411
  • 4th Aug 2017 02:48pm

Well this is a kettle of fish......Todays parents us a lot of Psychology, which does work if they practice what they preach, and live by their own set of rules instead of do as I say instead of do as I do attitude. I was reared in the 60's and yes I got smacked, but apart from feeling that my father let us kids down as he was a "drinker", we all grew up respecting our elders, didn't have attitudes and generally love each other. I think a lot of disrespect is learnt from the Xbox's, tablets and computer games.....and yes my grandys use these, but they are really good kids....

Pete
  • 4th Aug 2017 01:38pm

Despite all the politically correct nonsense that some carry on with these days, having raised kids & grandkids I've found that when a boundary is reached & other methods have failed, a good sharp smack on the backsidenormally brings things into perspective.I don't for one second advocate beating the daylights out of a kid, but as a last resort it's generally very effective.

(none)
  • 6th Aug 2017 04:25pm
Helen, one of the biggerst mistakes I think we make today is to treat our kids as small adults. They are not, they are children, & as such they need to be taught the boundaries of acceptable &...

Agreed, Pete. 'Boundaries' is the important word here. I have come across many, many children in the classroom who have no sense of boundaries at all. The emphasis is on what I want, with no sense of responsibility for their fellows at all. I'm not advocating smacking in a public context, AT ALL. I'm actually against it, in a public context.

But children do need to learn boundaries, and parents need to take the responsibility that they accepted when they had that child. Most think the teachers can do it, but we can't. A smart, short slap on the buttocks (by parents, not by anyone willy nilly) or legs makes the point 'I'm serious when I insist on this'. I have found that most of the time if I get to the child's physical level and eyeball them, and say 'I said such-and-such, and I meant such-and-such' is enough to get them to take notice.

So neither alone is enough, or the most effective. They both need to be used, wisely, carefully and consistently.

Pete
  • 4th Aug 2017 03:03pm
totally agree Pete...I was reared the old way, with a belt on my behind by my father, even though he wasn't Mr Wonderful either, as he was a bit of an alcoholic, but as I was schooled at a catholic...

Helen, one of the biggerst mistakes I think we make today is to treat our kids as small adults. They are not, they are children, & as such they need to be taught the boundaries of acceptable & unacceptable behaviour. This can't be done by reasoning with them as their reasoning skills aren't developed, so some form of sanction needs to be used, time out, loss of privileges, worst case scenario a smack, whatever. Treating them as if they are fully physically & mentally developed cannot work because they ain't!

helen30692411
  • 4th Aug 2017 02:42pm
Despite all the politically correct nonsense that some carry on with these days, having raised kids & grandkids I've found that when a boundary is reached & other methods have failed, a good sharp...

totally agree Pete...I was reared the old way, with a belt on my behind by my father, even though he wasn't Mr Wonderful either, as he was a bit of an alcoholic, but as I was schooled at a catholic school, my life has been quite normal and no criminals live in my family!!!

mrwonderful5433
  • 4th Aug 2017 12:42pm

As proven over the past 30 or so years, the softly softly approach doesn't work. We've ended up with a generation of disrespectful and greedy individuals who have no regard for authority or the law. We have repeat offenders going before the courts and there is basically no penalties or deterrents. Human nature tells us that if we fear that if we do wrong and we will be hurt, we will not do it. Based on that assumption , kids should be taught discipline and respect for the rules and there are consequences if they do wrong. In times gone by some people went overboard with smacking of kids which in turn has led to this" Don't it it dear as it's wrong" with no punishment. In my opinion, kids should get a smack for wrong doing to teach them respect for the rules and others.

Mixxsteria
  • 4th Aug 2017 08:03am

Smacking & capital punishment only reinforce that this kind of behaviour is acceptable & leads to the tolerance of generalized violance within our communities. Much prefer a more structured behavioralist approach

woolysmissus
  • 3rd Aug 2017 08:47pm

Smaking should never be a first option. There are times when children do dangerous things where we get caught out in the moment and our fear can cause us to respond quickly. But we can always apologise and regroup with a more effective option.

shazza55
  • 3rd Aug 2017 07:58pm

time out, it's the modern way !

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