Pregnancy & Parenting

Porn - internet & mobiles

Pregnancy & Parenting

Posted by: babylocks

29th Apr 2010 11:06pm

What happens when you find your 13 year old son looking at porn either on his mobile phone or on the internet at home? What are we supposed to do.... Especially when he then downloads movies to show his mates at school. There should be a way they there are bans both on the mobile phones for easy access & also for the internet. I always thought that I had put all the right blocks on the computers at home but obviously not & now once I've received the mobile phone accounts & hit with an excessive bill. I'm at my wits end. The mobile couriers really don't care because it's just money to them. Any ideas??


Comments 26

Jenny31376507
  • 25th Jan 2018 12:39pm

Lol tbh I don’t think you can prevent people watching porn. They’ll always find a way if they really want to watch it. If you want to save money though you should find cheaper or even free access to save your money. Good luck

Mollie-Rose31370438
  • 12th Jan 2018 01:53pm

My son is only 4, so thank goodness I don't have to worry about this yet! My plan is to make sure he knows that it's not realistic, because at the end of the day he's going to look at it eventually anyway and he'll only be more secretive if I tell him not to.

Mollie-Rose31370438
  • 12th Jan 2018 01:58pm
My son is only 4, so thank goodness I don't have to worry about this yet! My plan is to make sure he knows that it's not realistic, because at the end of the day he's going to look at it eventually...

In saying that, my children will have prepaid phones if any at 13 and they will be under my name, so I'll tell them that I get copies of their search history.

cooliosmooth
  • 2nd Aug 2017 07:49pm

13 Year olds should not have a mobile phone.

You need a mobile phone for work - NO child has a legitimate reason to have a mobile phone.

Word of advice - Download an app on his phone that blocks him from using other apps (ie. Internet)
Or
Take the phone off him.
Also google 'fight the new drug' educate yourself on Porn and its Destructive consequences - then educate your child.

Anonymous
  • 23rd Feb 2014 12:09pm

well what I would do is take his stuff off him and get a block for those types of wep pages.

Anonymous
  • 28th Jan 2014 06:13pm

We forget that kids at this age are very curious, this is due to them changing mentally and physically.So if parents do not have an open conversation with their kids, they will get the answers somewhere else such as the internet. Even we ban them from using internet at home, they will still find a way to explore. Experiencing first hand, i had to sit my son down and talk to my son about puberty. However, he has been advised that at the age of 13, looking up such items are inappropriate and can affect him mentally.

Anonymous
  • 28th Jan 2014 12:46pm

I have a 12 year old son who was very curious because he heard from his friends about looking up certain websites & he did. I caught him red handed and he has apolozied. I keep a close eye on every thing he does now. He is not ready to have any accessories that have access to internet and he knows that.

horn
  • 11th Nov 2013 07:17pm

You should educate that it is normal to explore the other sex, but using the phone is not the way to go. I would suggest that you give him some books or a porn movie. I would also suggest that showing class mates is not a good idea, as different people have different views and there parents might want to go down this path by themselves. As for the internet and the phone bills. Make sure you have blocked them. Unfortunately you have both learnt a lesson. Teenagers will always be teenagers and curiosity will always be there. Get him to paid you back by working it off. That way he will learnt that nothing comes free.

Anonymous
  • 30th Aug 2013 09:15am

you should talk to the provider that your with and see if they could talk you through how to block the sites or see if they could do it from their end. also dont allow him to take his phone to school...

Anonymous
  • 6th Sep 2012 11:12am

Take their phone off them

Anonymous
  • 3rd Nov 2011 05:35pm

Well, he has just gone too far! Especially as he has most likely been talked to about such things. Hasn't he?
We somehow know that at about this age such interests manifest and yet we just allow access to all the aparatus required to cause our own disappointment in our beloved, fragile, sweet and innocent children.
Yes I know that there is no guarantee that any pre-emptive instruction is going to prevent any young man from indulging in activity that damages ones perspective of life and view of fellow human beings, but ones only real duty must be found in an active prayer life. Such edeavour is all the real hope one has if sought with sincerity.
It may not prevent any curiosity or even the actuality of such behaviour, but there is the hope of a future and transformed heart and soul that God can accept.
He is more than able to do more than we can ever imagine. I know that I am not able to do what he can do in causing a young mind to seek for a greater outlook and ambition and therby an answer to your own dilema. Even if the resolve is after the transgression. The outcome, as in how your boy turns out after the fact is the real and important issue. All the best!

Anonymous
  • 19th Apr 2011 01:28pm

hes a boy, thats what they do, maybe daddy should get him a couple of movies, i think he is at the stage in his life where he is very curious about all of it, my advice is maybe hubby should talk to him.

stretch
  • 8th Apr 2011 12:00pm

i would recomend a video also available on dvd
IT IS CALLED WHERE DID I COME FROM
this may help ease the parents mind a little when the boy and or girl says mum / dad have you ever tried something a little different with sex as a curious mind will ask questions if open minded parents are available
but if closed minds are all they have then they will sneak and try the acts before thinking
dont be scared to talk to the kids about sex
if mother nature had wanted us to not know about sex then we would have been killed out by know
sorry if some of you find my openness to hard on the readers

stretch
  • 8th Apr 2011 11:54am

i am going to try and answer this question a little differently as some one placed a complaint against my last comment
at the age of 13 boys and girls start to come of age we start to feel different both sexes
so why not allow the boys and girls to learn from videos tv programs and dvds
as a lot of parents find it quite difficuilt to explain the act of nature SEX

greyghost
  • 17th Mar 2011 02:22pm

Also be careful if you child has a PSP, make sure it is not configured to use your internet, that's how our son got around all the restrictions we had on the computer and phone.

Poppy.
  • 17th Mar 2011 09:38am

Maybe if your son of 13 years needs a mobile phone for safety or protection, then he should only have a pre-paid account with a set fortnightly cap. It should have call baring on premium numbers and the internet access should also be barred from his phone. If he gets into a sticky situation where he needs to call for help, the 000 phone number is a free call and he should also have your home phone number on speed dial for emergencies. The computer should be put into the family room where it can be monitored by anybody who walks past it. Child porn is a really big issue in this day and age. Monitor any chat rooms he visits also.

CAT17
  • 22nd Feb 2011 04:55pm

Oh! the new technology, we can't live with it and can't live without it....but SERIOUSLY don't give your children a hi-tech phone. If you want them to be safe and can contact you or you them, then purchase a simple no nonsense phone with a prepaid amount of credit. Don't have the computer in their room, have it where you can vet what they are doing. After all as adults we are responsible for our children and their safety, not just physical but from cyberspace and the nasties that are out there. Teens are a tricky lot (I say that from experience), but hey we got to be aware of what they are up to and keep in touch with what the latest "thing" is. Being "savvy" to the new technology is vital.

Anonymous
  • 22nd Feb 2011 07:43am

Why do 13 year olds need a phone unless they want to go out and need to make sure they have some way of contacting you then get them a cheap budget emergency phone for only when they go out un supervised... other than that 13 year olds and under shouldnt need a phone really... its disgusting knowing that there are creepy old people spying on your kids and manipulating them in to thinking they're the same age as them.... ewwwwww really how dumb can parents be when they purchase a hi-tech phone for their children when theirs preditors on the net... who cares if they say they hate you and you ruin their life at least you know their safe.

jonschaper
  • 19th Jan 2011 06:51am

I agree with the first two points: 1) Don't give them a phone in the first place (or at least only give them one which can only be used to contact family in the case of an emergency). 2) If you do catch them, cancel their plan. A 13 year old does not need an expensive internet surfing mobile. They don't need a mobile PERIOD. They should be going to school. They can talk to their friends there. They can use a landline when they get home if they have enough time after dinner and doing homework to talk to their friends. They don't need the ability to watch TV while they are in the classroom, etc. Regular mobiles are a big enough bane on the lives of teachers already.

babylocks
  • 27th Dec 2010 01:46pm

It is easier said than done by saying where am I & why am I not watching his every move not every parent can watch over their children 24/7 no matter how hard they try.

I know he has learnt from his mistakes as he has grown a little now & is now at 14 & no longer having the access of porn while on his mobile phone, whereas on the world wild web this is a nightmare. I have installed software that can stop him surfing but this doesn't stop things like youtube & the like. Maybe as he grows older he will become more wiser. I also thought that this was a good subject to share with others as it really is (porn sex & the like) out there & there is nothing to stop people from hooking kids up especially in facebook or where ever they like as the times change too often.

I'm not a parent who doesn't care, perhaps I'm a little over protective & because he had the ability to download he did, because he was trying to fit in with his peers - it is an unfortunate age.

stretch
  • 21st Dec 2010 11:36am

one idea is to hand him a porn movie and sit and watch it with him
also try and explain that sex is natural i have watched porn since i can remember
but the most important item to explain is that not all porn is real it can be doctered fromphotoes and computer shots are the normal item used knowdays
be gental and supportive
and let him pay for it out of his own pockets
yes i am a mer male and love the female uper half will you do a show me yours and i will show me to you

juleski
  • 17th Dec 2010 09:22pm

This is the whole .."Who is responsible for the internet" issue. You can hardly expect a phone company to have the ability to block the internet... they are two totally diferent issues! Get the kid a phone which doesnt have internet ability, its the only way you will save yourself from massive bills.
If hes looking on the home pc..i ask.."Where are you?" kids shouldnt be left on any pc out of parents view.. the internet is one dangerous place. You should know exactly what hes doing and what sites hes on (check the history and look over his shoulder). Oh.. and another piece of unasked for advice.. KEEP HIM OFF FACEBOOK!

passum
  • 30th Nov 2010 08:12pm

first these sights are blockable by locking out their numbers on his phone under dont recieve messages from this no or you can have a block put on the phone no in question do this by requesting a itemised bill find which he is downloading then have a block placed on all numbers other than for home use.

bronzzeAngel
  • 16th Nov 2010 10:39pm

my son has a phone that can surf the web as does my girl.... BUT as it is prepaid (savvytel) and as long as you have 1 cent, your credit doesnt run out so is still an active phone but thye cant surf or make calls etc. I only buy credit on occasion so they learn to minimise waste adn learn how to manage their credit. I dont buy enough for them to surf.

Geanina
  • 26th Aug 2010 10:33am

I have a 13 YO and he asked me for a phone at some stage and guess what I said? ------ NO! Kids at this age don't need a phone. I am sorry to say this but in many cases it's the parents fault giving these things to their kids. I have 3 boys, and told them the facts of life from a young age, and that includes: No phone, no girl friends, no sleepovers and no riding bikes on other streets and going to the shops alone.Up till now, had no problems with them,they can be very understanding if you teach them from when they are smaller.This way you get to have kids who will stay indoors and not wonder the streets at night as well.

typhoon
  • 14th May 2010 05:30pm

First thing would be to check with the phone provider to cancel internet access on the phone.If they won't, then give him a cheap phone that does not support internet access or wi-fi. Replace the sim card with a prepaid card with a set monthly amount so he cannot clock up an excessive bill. The blocks on the computer do not work if he is using a peer to peer program to download content, unless you block the program from running in the router. I hope that you are running a router because you can password the router to block your son from changing the settings.Then set the router to allow internet access only during specified times when you are home and block the ports for peer to peer programs.
I would install an activity monitoring program on the computer that stealthily monitors all internet activity on the computer and you can then check the log files for mischief. Then let your son know the who,why,what and where of what he has been up toon the PC. When your son finds that he is being watched on the PC but doesn't know how then it might slow him down for a while.

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