Teenage Suicide
Posted by: Anonymous
25th May 2007 12:53pm
The thing we all dread. Teenage suicide. How can we prevent it?
Teenage suicide has hit the news in recent weeks with the tragic loss of Stephanie Gastier and Jodie Gater. Adolescence is truly a very difficult time for our children. What as parents can we do to try and prevent this?
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Comments 93
stardust83
Bullying is a big part of teen suicide. My step brother committed suicide when I was in year 6. Still to this day we find it hard to deal with. Throughout my highschool years I too suffered with depression. We had a lot of deaths in our family then to top it off. I had some really close friends but the ones I confided in used it against me due to jealousy issues. For me I knew the pain of family suicide and people used to always say it's selfish and the person who takes their own life is gutless. It is very easy to judge but once you have been there you can't think of anyone or anything else you are just consumed with different ideas on how to carry out the suicide so you are no longer in any pain. I didn't want my family to suffer I had it planned from the letter to making it look like an accident. Somehow I managed to confide in my mum. She took me to the doctors it was so hard for her to hear that. But she was my rock, I felt so alone for so long and communication could be the one thing that saves the person. Someone showing that they care and wanting to understand why I was so withdrawn and isolated. I was put on medication that made me sick and I felt like I was just a body people noticed that I was slow and spaced out. It really took off the edge but I lost my personality and I was slow to react to others. I also went to a psychologist 2-3 times a week and it took me over two years before I started to feel normal. I still had thoughts of it when I got down but not as many and I was more in control. You really need to make sure that their is at least one person that they feel they can tell anything too without being judged or made to feel that what they are feeling is wrong or stupid. Friends can be a good option but can also cause more dramas if friends are so happy and upbeat you feel like you can't be with them you can lose your confidence and trust in them and when in that state it is hard enough to even get out of bed.
stardust83
Bullying is a big part of teen suicide. My step brother committed suicide when I was in year 6. Still to this day we find it hard to deal with. Throughout my highschool years I too suffered with depression. We had a lot of deaths in our family then to top it off. I had some really close friends but the ones I confided in used it against me due to jealousy issues. For me I knew the pain of family suicide and people used to always say it's selfish and the person who takes their own life is gutless. It is very easy to judge but once you have been there you can't think of anyone or anything else you are just consumed with different ideas on how to carry out the suicide so you are no longer in any pain. I didn't want my family to suffer I had it planned from the letter to making it look like an accident. Somehow I managed to confide in my mum. She took me to the doctors it was so hard for her to hear that. But she was my rock, I felt so alone for so long and communication could be the one thing that saves the person. Someone showing that they care and wanting to understand why I was so withdrawn and isolated. I was put on medication that made me sick and I felt like I was just a body people noticed that I was slow and spaced out. It really took off the edge but I lost my personality and I was slow to react to others. I also went to a psychologist 2-3 times a week and it took me over two years before I started to feel normal. I still had thoughts of it when I got down but not as many and I was more in control. You really need to make sure that their is at least one person that they feel they can tell anything too without being judged or made to feel that what they are feeling is wrong or stupid. Friends can be a good option but can also cause more dramas if friends are so happy and upbeat you feel like you can't be with them you can lose your confidence and trust in them and when in that state it is hard enough to even get out of bed.
MTD
Hi, I am an "older parent" with grown up children, 42, 41, 32, 31. How do we prevent "teenage" suicide? That is a question with 100's of causes and even more answers.
To me it has meant to install ethical, moral, and many other VALUES into our children.
Yes, I think it starts at home, and values are a big part of it. Role models also play a large part followed by many other traits and actions instilled by us parents. If the standard of values at home are , compared to a broad society, of a low and unstable standard, how can you expect children in that environment to value life and other things? Unfortunately, the standards set in public by many government high profile members are about as low as they come. which won't give kids a good example and a rosy view of the future. If any of my kids acted and reflected on others like they do in parliament and politics, I would have no respect for them but would also blame myself for not giving them the values they should have.
From age 0 (sometimes even earlier) children learn what they see, hear, feel, experience and PERCEIVE, and if those items are not of a reasonable standard, they will not value anything. Add to that, when they become teenagers, a very confused future, and there is the potential to opt out of this world without a future for them as they see it.
One example: If you don't finish AND PASS High School, you are a failure in many of society"s sectors and generally degraded to low standard jobs. You cannot tell me when they have been learning for 14 years that they FAILED. How many students have not achieved the standard they sought? In my eyes, they did not fail the lesson of life because they didn't achieve a set standard.
A peaceful environment? Look at the news every night, local, national and global.
How do we reduce the suicides? It will take 20 years and massive time resources to give those kids a future that they can look forward to and appreciate.
My life is full of "experiences" , I am not religious, but value many christian standards, although not all, as their history has some dark past episodes..
The 42 year old came home for 6 weeks, 3 years ago and still here, after seriously thinking about a long swim. The values at home had taught him that there were other ways of solving the problems, (one of which was gambling), now he is ready to move on .
To prevent teenage suicides, or many of them, means changing the culture we have accepted and start with teaching our kids values. A long process and a difficult one to implement in today's society. I can write a book expanding and adding to this, but this is not the place.
Thanks for reading this, and if you find this is not so, please let me know.
Anonymous
I'm a teenager and I've recently been diagnosed with high risk depression and low anxiety, due to my child good traumas and being bullied at school, I have a very abusive brother, suicide was always in my books self harm was just the start. Suicide is due to lack to attention from family, in order to prevent it teenagers must be aware that everything does get better and that there is more to life then just living at home and in this place with horrible people, I'm working towards my HSC ATM it's been a rough year but because I was open and found counciling
And family support especially from my boyfriend I put away my depression and move on thinking about the future an how I can make it better for my self.
Mel - mel
Teenage suicide is not a topic to be taken lightly. I have lost 4 friends in the past two years to suicide. No one really knows the signs till its too late to do anything about it. The worst part is if a teenager is contemplating suicide and tries to seek help from most friends or family they tell them that they will be fine an its just a mood they're going through at the moment. And chances are its definitely not. Also the teenagers these days treat it as a joke and many are told to "kill themselves" as a joke. It's never funny when someone you love dies. People need to realise this!!
natters
It's possible to see in hindsight what parents can do, it is also distressing that we can miss the cues/clues to what is happening in our teenagers minds, whilst right in the thick of life. All the points below are great things to initiate with our teenagers when they're younger. My 16 year old niece had made a decision that she wanted to sniff glue - and she died. I don't even know if she had it in her mind to commit suicide, it wasn't until later that my sister had shared that my niece had asked to come and stay with me in Australia. Isn't it strange how life happens, when we don't expect it?
lj
I think the only thing parents can do is talk to your children and be aware of who they hang out with and whats important in their life..it changes day to day so we have to be vigilant. we lost our 19yr daughter 4 and a half years ago and its still hard to cope with. I thought i was a good parent, i stayed involved with her life and friends, but there was obviously still something i missed. i still have a 13yr daughter who i remain on a constant watch of. She still has a life (ive not wrapped her in cotton wool) and many friends, and i am aware of ALL of them. we talk everyday about whats happening and how she feels, thats all i can do.
Anonymous
first and foremost we need to stop hiding behind closed doors and acknowledge that suicide does exsits in every town country places etc etc..We need to have more awareness and promote it for our youth that it is not a option for them . Make safe havens available get teachers involved local community members to run workshops where they can go..Most of all be open honest parents and sit down with them to talk even hold them...More effort needs to be put in place promoting suicide awareness through ads on tv local papers billboards internet site...
stretch
parents need to talk to the kids not just yell and if the oldies are having a bad time with each other take time out and discuise the situation when the kids are not around
as well if they seperate share the kids equally dont encourage drugs on a daily basis this includes alcohol
sh
Talk to your teen about his life and feelings. Assure him that he isn't alone and that everyone goes through hard times. Tell him that it's the hard times and life experiences that make stronger people in the long run.
stretch
listen to the kids
dont be scared to talk to them openly
dont fight in front of them
dont bash them / hit them
dont be scared to say no
but the best advice i can give is just be your self
i was a dad till the courts took my rights away so am no expert
just take one day at a time and see what life throws at you
i hope the kids i have been around would be able to open up and talk to either parents or friends
safestreetsecurity
Hi I have teenage children and from birth we talked to them spent time with them until they started high school where with some teachers they let the children call them by their first names or nick names they don't teach respect or discipline
once we walked or road our bike up the road to see our friends now they phone or go on the computer when you dish out the food they will sometimes go to there bedroom and if you say they cant they say you cant stop me Children Have Rights
this is what they teach them at school and if you smack them they can have you charged so what can we do apart from letting them do what they want
Then they wonder why we don't talk to them
When they don't listen anyway until it is to late This day its a hit and miss on how children turn out you need to hope what you taught them at a young age will resurface to stop them from getting into trouble
nosilla
A good supportt network is essentail.
The more people who look out for teens the better!
Anonymous
Communcating with them at their level. Responding to what happens in their lives daily. Watching for the signs. I talk to my youngest about when a teenager commits suicide to see his point of view. He feels that it is not the answer (he is 16) and that there is always someone that you can go to. My eldest who is 22 has lost 3 friends through misfortune and doesn't really talk about things so I watch him for various signs and try to open conversation but I make sure when he does want to talk I am there as it is rare that he does.
Di
We need to listen to our children. I have a grand daughter who tried to end her life recently. She is an only child and last year the family relocated. She had to start at a new school and has been the object of continual bullying, primarily because she is bigger than the other children. B y this I mean she is tall not overweight. Names she has been called are disgusting. She tried to tell her parents who brushed it off as her being disgruntled about moving to a new school. They just didn't believe her. She became withdrawn, unsociable, and very sad. The day in question her father came home from work early and found her unconscious. Had he arrived home his usual time it could have been too late. My grand daughter is not yet a teenager, shes 11 years old
Di
Anonymous
7 years ago i lost my good friend to suicide.His actions have hurt many people including his young child who was only 1 at the time of his death,it has taken so much time an effort for me to come to grips with my loss and ill never stop missing him.I hope australia becomes more aware of the warning signs and people help those suffering from depression i look back now and i see the signs of the hell my mate was going through .As a mother of 3 i worry about my children unable to cope with life and giving up , all parents if your child is depressed sad showing signs of a mental illness learn from my loss and do everything in your power to prevernt this hapening to you .MISSING ADRIAN
cactus
Honour those who have had the courage to pull the plug
tracwy
its really not am easy topic is it?, we just need to be aware of the signs that our kids are unhappy but then some people can be happy on the outside, they have lernt to put on a mask. There is more and more pressure on kids each generation of family.
kerry
It is very sad to see that our children feel that theres no where to go and no one to talk too, that they result to suicide. We as parents and part of the community should take the time out to spend with our children to listen to them and listen to the way that, they see life, the way they feel. One thing every body needs is someone to talk to without feeling that they are being judged for how they are feeling or thinking, why do we think our children are different? take real time for them, and give them a hug.
Dory
I can't even begin to imagine what can be so wrong in a teenager's life that they would even think to take there life, but I don't believe there is one answer. It does seem that it is commonly troubled, lonely, depressed or moody children, who maybe have no sporting or cultural interests, but when friends of ours lost their teenage daughter to suicide, everyone was shocked. Here was a child doing well in sports, lots of friends and an extremely open, caring family (particularly her 3 siblings). We knew them pre-children and vowed to one day model our parenting on theirs! There were no obvious signs that this child was troubled. So what do we do? I've talked to my children about this now they are older and explained that there is nothing so bad it can't be worked through. I've talked to them about parties, drugs, alchohol, boys/girls, friends. I worry constantly, not only about this issue, and my kids tell me I need to "relax". I guess providing a loving, stable home is the best we can do. As working parents we've been through that whole guilt thing of not spending enough time with them, so we make sure we dedicate as much as possible of the weekends with them, and have at least two week-long holidays a year doing what they love (camping & snowboarding). Happily, at 14 (male) & 16 (female) they have not yet reached the stage where they don't want to be a part of that. Nor have they grown out of hugs, kisses and "I love yous" every day - in fact they come to us for them (even in public)!
Anonymous
Communicate an is the number one word........
As a young teenager I myself cam close to killing myself more then once and if it wasn't for the friends I had I might not be here today.
Its all about talking and letting some one know how your feeling, not every one but someone who you feel safe around.
But love ones need to know that pushing ur teenages and nagging at them to open up to you isn''t going to help. Just start off slow and small talks at a time will help and over time and it will take time before they can fully open up to you.
redpre1
The worst phone call you can get in the middle of the night is either from the police or hospital. Ive had that phone call and you never get past that gut wrenching feeling when the phone rings late at night believe me it doesnt get any better with time. My son got to the point of hanging himself in a garage of the flat he lived at. I now see the signs of weeks earlier little comments that now fall into place when you think back. But at the time it just didnt register. It all comes back to good old marijuana the stem of the whole thing. Some teens it effects in different ways. In my sons case it caused a condition where they hear voices which gets worse over time. If they are prone to a mental illness then this drug is there death weapon.
caraoke
Listen to your children, do not judge them. They will make mistakes but they need to have confidence in you and be able to talk it out with you. Lots of kids bottle things up or talk to other kids who are having problems, this can excelerate things. watch for signs that your child seems troubled and coax it out of them. Let them know they are loved and together you can work it out. I have 4 kids aged 28,27,25, and 19 so I really am talking from experience. I sometimes felt like screaming 'to much information' at them, but it felt good them knowing they could talk to me about anything.
janny1
I lost my brother to suicide in 1996, he was 41. His first attempt was at the age of 15 by overdosing with mums valium and vodka, this attempt I interrupted by coming home from school early. His second attempt was with a razor blade, he did it at the beach then walked home, flashed his wrist at my mother as he walked past her and laughed. His third attempt was in the same way but this time he did it in his bedroom. My mother got a bad feeling and found him. After many many years of doctors, specialists, psychologists, councillors, you name it we did it, we couldnt get the help we needed. The family doctor telephone a pshyciatric hospital at 3am on one of the attempts. I spent 2 hours talking with him and he agreed he needed help. The hospital would not admitt him because of the hour of night due to lack of staff. The doctor pleaded, giving them a full history of repeated attempts but the answer was no, we could only bring him in at 11am that day. Of course, my brother had sobbered up, his wrist stitched up and he had calmed down so he now was refusing to be admitted. To have him committed meant going to courts etc, our doctor telling us he was not serious enough to have an intervention approved by a court. What a joke. Long story cut short, both of my parents passed away within 5 years of one another, my brother was devastated. Within 6 months of my mother passing he decided to end it, this time he did succeed, only because he lived alone. We found many half packets of prozac, prozaine and many other meds in his home. Our family doctor had retired so it was difficult to find the doctor he had been seeing. I telephoned every doctor within the area he lived and finally had luck. I spoke with this doctor for an hour, telling him of my fears that my brother was suicidal etc. The doctor told me that he was not getting that impression, in fact he said that he was an extremely happy man and appeared to be quite content. What infuriated me that day was the doctor was hesitant in speaking with me at first because my brother had told him that he had no family, his parents had passed and he had no siblings. He also told him the he had just been through a terrible divorce and was struggling financially. As I said to this doctor, he had lied catagorically to him, I was alive as was our younger brother, he had never married, there was no divorce and yet this doctor continued to tell me that my brother was find and was not that bad mentally. My brother succeeded in his bid for release of a tormented life 3 weeks after this conversation.
What am I saying, our mental health system is to blame for so many suicides of our youth. There is no support network, no support system in place to help anyone with a mental problem. My brother was schizophrenic/paranoid/manic depressive man, he was in desperate need of assistance within the mental health system but there was no one there to help him. We couldnt have him committed because he "seemed" to be ok, no one was checking that he was taking his medications everyday, no councellors, not psychiatrists, no one. Not even the local doctor, who told me that he had other patients to care for as well, so if my brother needed help it was he that needed to contact the doctor, not the other way around. I had another medico tell me that if we kept trying to "pick" my brother up then he would always have issues, he suggested we, and I quote: "kick him in the guts and tell him to get up, if he doesnt then walk away and leave him there, if he need and wanted help he has to get up himself". Well, I get that in some cases where the problem is attention seeking, but my brother had a mental disease.
The health system lets these kids/people down. These poor teenagers who become so lost and confused have no where to go,the parents think they just have a teenager on their hands and believe that its a phase, some dont have take the time to care, others try so hard to understand but try to fix it by yelling and screaming, grounding and banning computers or mobiles.
Parents, if you have a son/daughter who is constantly getting into trouble, who appears to quieter than normal, is not the kid you know them to be, please listen to them when they speak, by that I mean, listen to thier words, hear what they are saying, if you dont know what to do, if they cant tell you whats wrong or how to help them find someone who can, there are so many places out there now for these kids who are lost in thier journey of life. It may be more serious than that, please get them some help before they live a lifetime of inner struggles and pain, sad hearts and confusion. I'n not saying any of these problems are so easily fixed but, there is always a beginning to the healing process, kids dont know where to find that beginning if the parents dont hear their crys for help, often the cry for help is silent, we as parents should notice that in our kids....I so wish that anyone that is reading this thread is able to find a way through the hurt and pain that they are feeling and I wish you all the best in your journey to heal your loved one, friend or whoever it is.
bj
I think that just maybe the teen really dosent believe they die.. That somehow they are saved or not dead. somewhere in the brain the messages get mixed up, and that the thing that dies is what they are depressed about, not their body.
waspnin
Spend time with your kids and include them - its not that hard
crissy
Preventing suicide is very hard...I think the best way could be educating them since they are little about how valuable their life is.. about how important it is to make good friendships and how lethal drugs can be... good examples... show them the world...dont hide them from it!
AprilR
I truly believe that teens need to be kept busy, especially with things that are rewarding for them, wether it is a sporting activity, or other social club. The feeling that things are getting out of control is often a pre- cursor to suicidal thought, especially if depression is already present within the family.
Teens need to be able to talk open and freely without any judgement from their parents about sex, drugs and depression.
and to feel as though they are listened to, or understood.
Jamy
Feeling as though you are close to your child, helping them grow up with a strong sense of worth and teaching them to be compassionate etc. are all essential for every child, but the depressed child won't give these reassurances any merit.
I think that mental illness and depression is something that should be discussed with as high a priority as sex and drugs. It should be addressed directly and with a depth of knowledge. Parents need to let their children know that it's okay to discuss feelings of depression or hopelessness and if they do not feel comfortable to discuss it with you then you need to feel confident enough in your relationship with them to offer confidential outside counselling or another adult family friend to lend and ear when it's needed.
A friend of mine lost her 20 year old daughter to suicide a few months ago and I lost my father last year. We have had five suicides in my extended family.
Depression is an illness and it needs to be treated effectively and in a timely manner, otherwise, it can be fatal.
Michelle
This is a subject that truly needs addressing in our society. I honestly believe that unless you have been in a position of contemplating 'suicide' chances of them understanding it fully is rare. As a parent, being open and honest and having all lines of communication available is wonderful, but won't prevent it from happening. It's essential that all parents make their children feel constant love and support and making them aware of all aspects of their community such as family counsilling etc. Building your children with inner confidence too will help. Its a tough subject and each case I believe is different. Just love your kids - and make sure they know it.
suzie
HOW DO ANY PARENTS REALLY KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THEIR CHILDS HEAD.... AFTER ALL WE DIDNT TELL OUR PARENTS EVERYTHING DID WE..... WITH MY DAUGHTER I WAS LUCKY TO HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP BUT IN THE LAST YEAR OR SO HAVE FOUND OUT THINGS SHE HADNT TOLD ME ABOUT....LUCKILY SHE IS VERY LEVEL HEADED BUT DURING YEAR 12 SHE SUFFERED DEPRESSION ALSO.... THANK GOD SHE TALKED ABOUT HER TROUBLES AND SOUGHT MEDICAL HELP.....ALL WE CAN DO AS PARENTS IS TO BE THERE FOR OUR CHILDREN NO MATTER WHAT THE PROBLEM AND BE PROUD OF THEM NO MATTER WHAT THE ACHIEVEMENT BE IT BIG OR SMALL.... IN THEIR EYES DURING THEIR TEENAGE YEARS PROBLEMS CAN BE ASTRONOMICAL WHEREAS TO US THEY ARE MINOR........LOVE YOUR CHILDREN UNCONDITIONALLY AND HOPE THAT YOUR PARENT ING HAS BEEN ENOUGH TO SEE THEM THROUGH THESE TRAUMATIC YEARS ..........TEENAGE SUICIDE WILL NEVER CEASE BUT GOD WILLING WITH A LITTLE UNDERSTANDING AND A LOT OF LOVE AND OPENNESS WE MAY DECREASE IT
PATRICIA
I HAVE 6 KIDS AND BELIEVE THE PROCESS STARTS FROM BIRTH. ALWAYS BE OPEN AND HONEST.LET THEM KNOW, REPEATEDLY, THEIR IMPORTANCE TO YOU, FAMILY, FRIENDS AND THE WORLD. THEY COULD BE THE PERSON TO CURE CANCER OR TO GIVE YOU GRANDCHILDREN. BOTH THINGS ARE JUST AS RELEVANT TO THE MAKING THE WORLD GO ROUND. LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY BUT SET BOUNDARIES. TEACH THEM THAT EVERYTHING HAS CONSEQUENCES AND EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES SO LEARN BY THEM DON'T DWELL ON THEM. SUPPORT THEIR INDEPENDENCE BY LETTING THEM MAKE DECISIONS, SOMETIMES THEY MAY BE WRONG, BUT AREN'T WE HUMAN? DON'T BE TOO SERIOUS, LAUGHTER IS THE GREATEST MEDICINE. RESPECT OTHERS AND YOURSELF. HAVE FUN WITH LIVING IN A SILLY, UNCONTROLLABLE WORLD. BE OPEN MINDED AND RESOURCEFUL. KEEP AN OPEN LINE FOR CONVERSATION, DO NOT TALK BEHIND YOUR CHILDS BACK, THEY WILL KNOW. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING THEN DON'T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. TRY NOT TO PREACH TO THEM. CONCENTRATE ON THEIR STRENGTHS INSTEAD OF PUSHING THEM TO IMPROVE ON THEIR WEAKNESSES. INSTEAD OF TELLING THEM THEY ARE WRONG SAY "MY OPINION IS DIFFERENT". INCLUDE THEM IN THE EVERYDAY RUNNING OF THE HOME AND SAY "YOU ARE A PIECE IN THE FAMILY PUZZLE. WE COULD NOT BE WITHOUT YOU".
TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM AND YOUR PROUD OF THEM EVERDAY.
THIS IS JUST THE START.
Jo
I think we need to communicate with our kids, but on their terms - really listen to them, take notice of changes in behavour patterns and not put our expectations on to them. Take an interest in their lives and their friends. Be understanding when they dont turn out they way we planned and let them grow into their own person but most of all be there for them and love them unconditionally
kagaroonie
My daughter was diagnosed with annorexia nervosa at 13 - although she weighed less than 45kg she still saw the michelin man when she looked in the mirror - it had taken one stupid comment from someone at school and she started dieting and so it went on. She recovered after a couple of years and life went on. When she was at the end of year 11 a close friend of hers in year 12 suicided. His parents were loving parents and all they wanted for him was "the best". They encouraged him in every was and made him aware just how great his life would be if his education was up to scratch. If he got a great year 12 score, his university chances were going to be great and so it would just flow on. His suicide note told how he was terrified he would not get the results he knew he needed to fulfil his parents dreams....he wanted to be a tradesman like his dad.
My daughter was never pushed to get great year 12 results. Her OP was nowhere near the best in the state. It probably would not have got her into uni but SHE WEAS STILL ALIVE after year 12 was over. The prescious OP is only applicable for that tiny window of time when you apply to uni straight out of high school. It will not affect the rest of your life. I know parents who disagree with me but maybe they are lucky as their kids didnt have self esteem issues or achievement issues. My daughter is now 19, has a great job working in a field she enjoys and is hopefully heading towards a bright future. She can still be the moody horrible teenage girl we all dread, but this will change with time. Her friend is still dead and his parents are still living with the guilt that through pushing him to be achieve just a little more than they did, he died. Not everyone has to go to uni. We still need tradies. We need checkout chicks and people to drive the trucks that collect our garbage. If someone does a task that you dont do yourself (like fit the tyres on your car) then that job and therefore that person is doing something that is worthwhile. The more we start to accept that, the less pressure we put on our kids and maybe, just maybe, less will die.
Anonymous
Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. I wish your daughter all the best in the world.
tasha
Life is not easy for young adults today. The pressure to conform is high, image and materialism rate number 1 with yuppy teenagers today and a lot of modern parents think that if they buy everything for their kids it is ok, well it is not! the best thing we can give our teenagers today is love and support. My daughter is 19 and I always tell her that I trust she will make the right decision for herself because in the long term she has to live with any outcomes.Banning kids from doing anything only makes them more rebellious, just remember how it was when we were teenagers and relax a little and always listen and I mean really listen.
alison
I think we should all love and respect our children for who they are - not what WE want them to be.
Anonymous
It can certianly be said that many people live their life through their children
penny
My daughter, at age 19, did attempt suicide by overdose. It is very easy to confuse real depression with nortmal teenage angst as the signs are very similar. I have a very close but sometimes turbulant relationship with her and we have always communicated well. It took another visit to hospital to find that she is suffering from Bi-polar disorder which is now maintained with medication. The whole episode has taken 4 years to resolve but I will never stop worrying about her, it has been particularly hard as I am divorced with other children and no support from their father. Mental illness is the cancer of our times and with the illegal drugs, high expectations re uni etc and social issues facing our children it is no wonder they feel a sense of hopelessness. As much as we need to face the issues of teen suicide we need to face the issues of unacceptable funding for the hospitals to deal with these kids and support for families dealing with it. My heart goes out to any other family dealing with this awful reality.
Anonymous
Thank you Penny
kerry
The scary thing is there has been so many networking groups put in place to help our children, but in that process the children(yes thats what they are)get lost in the system. When the right people get there through all the red tape its too late, and thats really sad. There are many truely caring and helpful people who devoted most of there time to these children. Maybe we as society needs to stand together and show our kids that its strengh in numbers. I have a good relationship with my young teenage children, but i know there has been times when they have something they need to talk about but choose not to talk to me, as a parent its important to understand this and have someone else around that can just have a chat! Keep in mind that most of this kids dont understand the changes in themselves, feelings, thoughts, friends. life as we understand it. Stand beside them and be patient.
Hartmut
Hi there,
Corny as it may sound, but while we have advanced scientifically and economically at an amazing rate, our spiritual progress has been zero. And by spiritual I do not mean any man-made religious organizations, which, on the whole, have caused nothing but guilt and heart-ache.
By a spiritual way I mean following a positive and loving God-Energy that embraces all people and all cultures.
It is not surprising that in today's 'spiritual wasteland' more and more people are unhappy because our Western Societies follow ONLY the goal of money - and virtues like Love, Honour, Trust, Commitment etc. etc. are becoming secondary and are often even seen as standing in the way of reaching economic (greed) goals..
The resulting EMPTINESS, that so many people feel today, is then sadly filled with alcohol, drugs, overeating etc. etc.
Tragically, If this Emptiness Pain becomes too great too many see Suicide as the only way out. People, and especially young people, yearn for the true meaning and importance of their life. It seems to me, that these values can not be found in our relentless 'outer' chase after material goods and goals, but only in a recognition and of following our 'inner', higher spiritual values.
The key to any success lies in the word 'Balance'. If we combine our legitimate economic goals WITH a positive spiritual outlook than we have achieved a healthy, balanced way - where everyone can progress, feel wanted, important and see value in their own and other peoples lives.
Liza May
The entire situation reflects total lack of dicipline within the family and education systems.
Strict control of children, their friends, habits, free time schedules and home discipline, was taken away by Gov`tauthority.
No matter what one says. As time progresses the no of incidents of this nature occurr.
Elizabeth.
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Felix Fan
Easy... be there more for your children, be in everything they do - be their best friend. Dont criticise but praise and encourage. Mums need to do the mum thing where they can... by being home for them, making stuff together in the kitchen and lots of family time. Like it used to be "in the old days".
Anonymous
Last year just before Christmas a friend of my daughters hung himself he was only 15. It really hit home. After the funeral my daughter and I talked for a little about it and how she felt being one of her close friends. We both agreed that there was alot of pressure at school for completing homework on time and how much little time is given for each assighment. Its hard for them as well as us being parents try to understand why can't they tell us the way they feel. Sometimes she just goes online for hours chatting to her mates. We made a agreement between all of us spend some equal time with us and let her speak her mind and equal time she can chat to her mates. This way we not left in the dark. And she feels better getting things off her chest when things are getting a bit tough at school. So try to keep communication open for all concerned then I hope we can share the way all feel.
Nell
Hey did you known that teenage suicide is the number one killer in teenagers
Shay-Dee
Well, I have differing views but they have all been expressed in one way or another by everyone here already! I do have one thing to say that you all havent though. We lost our youngest brother to suicide 4 years ago at the age of 21. We knew he was depressed, we were trying to get him help, we all talked to him about his problems, and he had seen myself and one of our sisters go through very much the same thing for many years and finally get through it! And yet he still did it. Depression and other mental illnesses runs in my family. Having been there, I know that when you are THAT depressed, and feeling that low, no matter how many times people tell you or try to make you feel that it will get better, you just can't envision it happening. Therein lies the problem. These people need help BEFORE they get this bad, but most of the time nobody is aware that there is a problem until they are this bad. My brother had lots of friends and family for support that he talked to about his problems all the way through and it did not help. What we need is Suicide Prevention Awareness, a way to make people realise they need to seek help AS SOON AS they start to feel a little bit down!!
Anonymous
Absolutely!
Janine
Its a hard topic and I was interested to read the passage from Evispcmk, being an 18 year old and left the security of school and finding it hard in the big wide world. My 16 year old has a MYSPACE and I dont know whats in it, she is sometimes very quiet and moody but I just give her a cuddle!! Trying to talk to her sometimes is difficult as she seems to think I,m checking up on her but that is not the case most times. I can remember being like that too though with my parents and when I left home at 18 with a job and shared a house with a couple of girlfriends I found myself going home more and talking with my Mum more. I am hoping that my daughter also will find her way after the security of school and come back to me!! I see her with her friends and she laughs a lot and seems to love clothes and going out so evidently I would think she is ok and that suicide is not even going through her mind. However how do we know? Plenty of cuddles and nice food with a little privacy is possibly a good recipe to see them through their hard times!! Even if they are teenagers.!!!!!(or in their 20's or 30's or 40's)
amy_michelle
I am 17 and in my final year of school.
I attempted suicide many times last year - mostly i think it was a cry for help and a last resort as i did not know what else to do.
I had a difficult home life, no friends and was struggling at school.
Support from my parents was out of the questions and i ended up turning to a school counsellor. He got my life back on track.
I am know doing really well but i still take antidepressants, see a pyschologist, pyschiatrist and a social/housing worker once weekly and am in my 8th foster home.
But i can know see hope.
I don't know if this is helpful however i just encourage people to talk to whoever thet feel comfortable talking to.
Anonymous
This is really helpful and I hope gives others hope. Thank you
~*..Lainie..*~
Hey,
beening a adolescence myself i understand that this can be a very devastating situation for parents, family & friends. It is a very hard thing to prevent as it is a self choice, but things can be done such as listening to your child's problems as it can sometimes be caused by problems in the home such as fighting, being raped or sexual abused it can lead to emotional destressed children or teenage suicide, adolescence don't deal with problems such as this as well as adults do. Monitoring your children is also a good idea as they maybe showing you signs that they are depressed but your just not realising how bad the situation is.
Sarah16
I am not a parent, I am a teenager myself. I may only be 16 but I do have my own views on this issue.
I have always been a child whi has had low regard for themselves. i live with both my parents who hava very good relationship and my younger brother. I know this will sound like the normal teenage whime but i feel misunderstood and excluded from my family.
I have never really had a discussion with my mother about anything really not even 'the talk' or anything like that.
Thats why my parents do not know that I have attempted suicide and have been 'cutting' myself.
I know people say there is always a way out, and my parents are the same. It just seems that somedays there is no way to turn for young people.
I think that we need to open more doors for young people even if it is only a small door ad between their parents because sometimes parents can have no idea what is going on in their childrens lives.
Anonymous
Your point of view is just as vaild as anyones. And it is good to hear from you. I hope you feel there is someone you can speak to even if it is not a family member, a friend, a teacher, or try and break the ice with your parents and explain to them that you need support right now and want to feel a part of the family.
priya
i beleive it is all to do with communication with the child...because most kids deal with situations in school that are insignificant in the eyes of an adult but the adult should be able to relate to the kid and help them get through even small situations so try nip the problem in the bud.
they should also be willing not to do the whole i told you so and such things.
Anonymous
There are many ways parents could try to prevent this from happening, but speaking as a teenager myself, when I'm going through a rough patch (and I've gone through many) I prefer to not have Parents or Authorotative figures intervene and try to control the situation, giving me an ending more often than not that i wont appreciate because i havent taken that journey myself, and i havent been able to learn from any mistakes i may have made had i just been left alone. there is always a time to intervene though. this time is when you know and you have evidence to rpove that something is wrong, whether it be that the kid isnt acting the way they used to; for example a dramatic change in personality. but dont go nuts and constrict us with boundaries there are only a few teenagers out there who will put up with and eventually evenn they will get sick of being pushed around and being told to do this and do that, and to learn from their mistakes when, in an actual fact the parents are being so controlling that the kid cant make their own mistakes to learn from and no one can learn from anyone else's mistakes but there own, each person comes out of a situation differently, they each have different reactions, and make different choices as we all know , there is not one person on this earth that is exactly the same as another , you can never garuantee that people can learn from watching others make mistakes, life is given us to live and live it we should, but unfortunately some people have the desire to control everythign in life including other people and that's where things start to go wrong.
MzEmz
I'm not a mother or anything and wont be one for a long time because I'm only a teen but I saw this and it caught my eye...
I am a friend to someone who what's to commit suicide, now when I first found out I just wanted to know why he wanted to...he should be happy, he has friends, family, a house, a bedroom, computer and all...
They want to because they feel they are no wanted by their family/friends or it could be just one person and because of that they are heartbroken and classify them selves to 'Unwanted' then just little things like parents working late, not being allowed to go out, phone call not returned, a few 'no's here and there, makes them think that now the whole world 'hates them' and the only way they believe that will make everyone happy is suicide.
But before they commit suicide they tell one or two people that they completely trust and rely on to see what they think. And it is up to them to help them not too.
Thanks
Bye
GR8kidsX3
this probably sounds a bit pessimistic but I don't think we can totally prevent this - as long as history is dated children and adults have been committing suicide. I think what we need to do is to continue to try and reach out to those in need with the aid of help lines, parenting courses, general practitioner awareness and social groups.
As parents we need to keep the communication lines open with our children and I think this is implemented in the early childhood years by listening, creating respect for each other and enforcing that you will always have time to listen no matter how small the conversation or topic is.
We need to let those at risk know that there is always another way out - if someone could work out how to totally solve this issue he/she would be awarded with the Noble Peace Prize.
reet57
I have two kids who are different but similar in many different ways. We encouraged and guided both but never pressured. One was not study orientated but liked school for the social scene. He is engaged and about to start a new job with a great package ( considering he has no qualifications )
The other one was school captain, did extremely well in the HSC and was only about 2 points off being dux. She is now at uni.
We were always there for them and were able to talk to them.
There was a girl who committed suicide on the eve of the HSC and the girls in the surrounding schools were devastated. Apparently, she was a good student, a lovely girl and world ranked in Irish dancing.
Her parents and grandparents were lovely people. What went wrong here? What went so horribly wrong that she felt she couldn't talk to anyone about it? What a waste of a young life.
I thank God every day that mine are so ( hopefully ) well adjusted.
Copp
As a teenager myself (18 yrs of age) i strongly believe that the main reason for suicide is pressure. I know some people find it easy to go through high school (especially HSC) but as a student who has just finished the HSC, on some occassions i really found it hard to keep it together. I had alot of anger bursts at little things and i was always on edge.
Also i find that pressure from parents is also a hard thing to juggle. Sometimes little white lies, such as when as a student you tell youyr parents you got 80% in this test when really you got 30%, then the next test they are expecting you to do just as well if not better. And if this is your HSC then its a huge task.
I really do believe that parents should not push their children into studying, but encourage them. This i believe will help lower the teenage suicide deaths.
Anonymous
You should be proud of what you have achieved. It sounds like you have come a long way and ready to enjoy life. I wish you all the fun in the world.
Copp
As i said in my last comment, there is alot of pressure from school, and expectations on you from your parents, friends and school teachers, to do as well as possible
emzs
hi i to am a teenager 19 and found that prusser off school and also suffering from deprission from been sick alot lead me to thinking about cominting suicide on a number off ocisions while i was at school haveing a larning dissablity but still been expeted to get good grades at school plus trying to fit in the prusser on young people today is some times to much most of my mates have tried comminting suiced when we were at high school as well and once we leaf and got in to geting jobs one of them did commint suiced the prusse of his parrents divioce and been the oldest child and haveing to be a father figuer to his youger sisster got to much for him this was extramly sad and made me relise how desting it is for friends and family to go thogth after that i promissed my salf that i would never try agin im too young to die and there so much things that i havent done that i would miss out on .
emzs
Thanks for your view Copp. Any other teenagers out there who would like to comment on what pressures you are facing?
Anonymous
I think no wonder our kids are committing suicide ... take a look at what we do to them right from the word go. We expect WAY TOO much. They are suppossed to crawl, walk and talk better faster and easier than their peers. They are supposed to be ready for kinda and handle seperation anxiety by NOT being around us at the age of three. They are supposed to be highly sociable by four year old kinda. We expect them to read and write their own names and the alphabet befor starting school, and if they can't maybe they have learning difficulties. They are ferried to swimming, karate, ballett, gym and god knows what else whilst expected not to throw tantrums because they are tired and expected to appreciate what you're doing for them. In their first year of school they are expected to know 50 plus sight words and out perform their peers. We are only happy if they are Dux of grade 1. Then by grade 2 we come down heavy on them and start to invest in private tutors if we haven't already, still doing 2 plus extra ciricula activities, still expected not to complain when they are tired because look what i'm doing for you. They are expected NOT to embarress you in public. They are expected to do all this with out complaint, with no real quality play fun with the parents, because the grown up's are too busy working to pay off the Latte life style ... so they learne that mum and or dad aren't emotionally there for me unless i achieve achieve achieve and i'm not even 7 yet. My god the story just gets worse. At what point are we letting our children just be kids with out the notion of adult social aptness. They have no voice no say and no emotional bond. Yep i to think suicide looks pretty compared to what 97% of parents are ignorantly and unintentionally doing to their children. Wake up Australia and let kids be kids.
Anonymous
I think no wonder our kids are committing suicide ... take a look at what we do to them right from the word go. We expect WAY TOO much. They are suppossed to crawl, walk and talk better faster and easier than their peers. They are supposed to be ready for kinda and handle seperation anxiety by NOT being around us at the age of three. They are supposed to be highly sociable by four year old kinda. We expect them to read and write their own names and the alphabet befor starting school, and if they can't maybe they have learning difficulties. They are ferried to swimming, karate, ballett, gym and god knows what else whilst expected not to throw tantrums because they are tired and expected to appreciate what you're doing for them. In their first year of school they are expected to know 50 plus sight words and out perform their peers. We are only happy if they are Dux of grade 1. Then by grade 2 we come down heavy on them and start to invest in private tutors if we haven't already, still doing 2 plus extra ciricula activities, still expected not to complain when they are tired because look what i'm doing for you. They are expected NOT to embarress you in public. They are expected to do all this with out complaint, with no real quality play fun with the parents, because the grown up's are too busy working to pay off the Latte life style ... so they learne that mum and or dad aren't emotionally there for me unless i achieve achieve achieve and i'm not even 7 yet. My god the story just gets worse. At what point are we letting our children just be kids with out the notion of adult social aptness. They have no voice no say and no emotional bond. Yep i to think suicide looks pretty compared to what 97% of parents are ignorantly and unintentionally doing to their children. Wake up Australia and let kids be kids.
Ros
Parents, teenagers and teachers need to become better informed about mental health issues. Perhaps a booklet for parents including signs to be aware of that their child may have a mental health problem, how to communicate effectively with their child, preventing mental health issues, and so on. In schools, teenagers need to be educated about what is mental illness, taught ways to prevent mental health problems, how to assist a friend in trouble, who to contact and what to do if they are experiencing problems. Teachers also need to learn what signs to look for in students who may be contemplating suicide, and have appropriate plans in place to assist the individual.
More time needs to be spent learning life skills at schools, so that leaving school for the wider world is not too overwhelming. Lastly, private schools need to stop pressuring students into all having to get top marks and go to university! Encouragement is good, but if a person is going to be happier working in a supermarket for a couple of years before deciding what they want to do, then good on them!
stilly
As parents we need tp show our teens we love and care for them even if this means that we have to show them by stepping up to the mark and say no even when we know we will get less than desirable behaviour. This is a short term behaviour if we deal with it telling them that we are hear to guide and keep them safe. Most want parents to make or help with descisions and often will show this at a later time.
Our children are faced with so much confusing pressure and really need the parent to show some back bone.
Talk talk talk and talk some more. Be involved in what they do and encourage to listen to them also.
Just get out and love your kids and tell them you love them every day.
Cazzangel
As a mum of 3 daughters I have always told my girls, that no matter what,there is no problem to big or small, we can tackle anything.
As they grew I spoke of all kinds of things with them, and now we are great friends, all I can say is talk to each other, but you also have to listen to what they are saying, don't be shocked as you will always love them no matter what. And keep telling them that.
Anonymous
i told my son suicide is not acceptable because we love him and he will be gone , never to have a chance to change his life.
khamie
Be a responsible parents,create a great bonding to your children,talk to them,listen and be aware of their problems.Do not forget to help solve their problems.Guide them in the right way before its too late.
CompletelyUniqueNickname
Some excellent points already made - the issues of isolation and of peer and marketing pressure to "have it all" are big problems. Parents also need to communicate openly with their teens ... and this needs to be a two-way street. The world and what it is to be a teenager is so different from when we were teenagers, and as parents we need to be in touch with how our childrens' world works.
Kimbo
I beleive that we as a society are letting society and our youth down. There is too much presure to HAVE everything that opens and shuts,to wear labeled clothes. There is not enough discipline at home and in the schools, therefore there is no self respect and no respect for others, or other property. Life is moveing too fast and doesn't look like slowing down. Bring back the simple life when families were families and kids were kids until they finished school and got a job. Kids also need to know that there are people out there who they can talk to. That there is help out there. Drugs, Alchol and Death are not the only ways to deal with lifes problems.
leah26
Being a survivor of teenage suicide i cant really tell you how to prevent it but i can try to help understand what kids think about when they attempt suicide. as a very young child i was tormented by my aunt and grandmother and molested by my mums boyfriend by the time i got to my teens i was a real mess i attempted suicide lots of times but it wasnt until a friend walked im on me attempting when he saw and realised what i was doing he said for me to do it in front of him so he could see in my eyes what i was going through to want to take my own life and not to think of anyone who loved or cared for me up until that very moment i never thought of my family and friends who lloved or cared for me it wasnt ignorence that i hadnt thought of them it was the pain was so bad that all i wanted was for it to go away and i dont really think i wanted to die but i never thought i would never be here again if i had succeded and i dont think many kids think about that either but its not a attention seeking thing either its a call for help and we as kids dont have the knowledge to know what to do in these situations. There was also no help out there for us either that we would think to go to again lack of knowledge. In my teens i had heard of the kids help line and tried to call in my time of desperate need when i told my story i was then refered to someone else in which i again told my story and again i was refered to someone else after the 6th time of being refered i hung up and was sooo angery with them i didnt know what to do so for me there was nothing i could do untill i was older and able to help myself. I am happy to report i am happy and have a beautiful family of my own now and will do everything i can posible to make sure my children dont go through any of what i did.
I hope this helps mothers and family and friends understand and maybe be able to help someone in great need and dont have to go through all i did just to get some help.
chill
Mmm well as I still remember my teen years the most important thing that I can suggest to parents is that once your kids hit the teen years start being less of a parent and more of a friend (especially the later teen years)
My history is that I had a very strict dad and a less strict mum, if it wasn't for my older sister I might not even be here. I wish my parents had been more approachable so that any problems or fears I had then I could have told them. I'm now in my 20s and married with kids and finally my parents have stopped "parenting" me.
chill
Thank you for sharing your story, I know it must be very hard to think about that time again.
kits
I recall those horrible years as a teenager - suicide was often on my mind... I felt so alone and unloved at home, and this led to many insecurities and low self esteem. I had great friends but home life was such an influence on me.
Now I have a child it is my aim to always show support for my child/ren - let them know that they can always come to me for anything - I will always try to have open ears without judgement. Kids want someone to listen to them, not to feel they will get 'in trouble' etc. I will also aim to encourage my kids and let them know I am proud of all their achievements.
I know these simple things would of made the world of difference to me :-)
Vicks
My heart breaks whenever I hear of I teenager who has committed suicide. I just don't understand how they can loose hope, not see the faintest dimmest of light at the end of the tunnel. I cant imagine how bad things must get for them.
A country singer who's name has esaped me for the moment released a song about 2 yrs ago about a young man commiting suicide and how it affected his love ones such as mates, parents, girlfriend, grandparents and did they miss the signs. It really makes you think that in such a fast pace life, are all the signals there for a call for help and we are too busy to see / read them?
Anonymous
As parents we need to have a greater understanding of exactly what depression can do to a person. Having been depressed before, I fully understand and quite frankly, was quite scared to realise that what I thought were rational thoughts whilst I was depressed, were in fact far from it. I am an intelligent person and someone that others would call rational, but depression changes a person's physiological make-up so that you simply cannot see any way out other than death. It is a sad fact that talking to a depressed person who is considering suicide is just not enough - my honest opinion is that if you know of someone in that situation, get them medical help immediately, because the chemical imbalance that is depression needs to be sorted out, even if it is with the aid of some short-term medication. Then, that person may be able to think rationally.
Lady T
I think parents should spend more quality time with their children from birth and through out all the stages of growing up. I think if thats done then parents can keep or form a closer relationship with their children and maybe make it easier to pick up on the warning signs.
Anonymous
i think as parents we get so caught up in work and everyday living. We need to make the time to talk to our children. communication and listening are the key. I am also a youth worker and i am required to assist at risk young people everyday. I highly recommend to concerned parents or caregivers to attend courses in suicide intervention, hopefully you wont have to use it, but it provides informaion about spotting signs, risk management etc. For a young person , it's not just the suicidial thoughts that need consideration it's the underlying issues. Why have they gotten to this point? Why do they feel this is their only option??? I believe that most young people who attempt siucide don't really want tio die, but they do want to stop hurting. A cry for help to assist them find a solution, learn better coping skills...etc.
sharon.nz
I thoroughly agree with the reply from Tauranga, they said all the thigs I would endorse. I also believe if we can all work hard to remove the stigma of mental illness this will help the children reach out for the help they deserve and let them see there is a way through the depression they may currently be feeling.
Sharon NZ
Modnoc
A friend at work lost a daughter to suicide and they believed that she was "normal" and that her behaviour was "just being a teenager", moody, dark clothes and alone time! Little did they know that she was suffering depression. Looking back they realise they didn't recognise the signs but then again they didn't know that they should look out for them.
Perhaps if we were more open as a society about mental illness and what we should look for and then what we should do if we suspect there is a problem we could address these problems correctly. Open dialogue and involvement in kids lives is important and always discussing isues and not letting things fester is critical. I remember as a teenager events in my life were always so melodramatic and if I had suffered depression I can look back and think potentially some dark days could have easily ended tragically.
Strong family and friends and self worth saw my teenage years fly past rather uneventfully and this is how life should be, easy! No parent should see their child go to God before them. I often think about my friends daughter and even though I never knew her I wonder if she knew how much she was loved and by so many and if she knew would this have changed her mind about leaving?
evlspcmk
This problem will never go away, its as old as time its self.
I am 18 and just making the change from school that i finished last year to the work force and i am finding it very dificult finding a job that i can see myself doing as a career, with the pressure of trying to please myself of most people and then trying to make my perants proud and my finacial situation there is a fair bit of pressure on me at the moment. I had my heart set on joining the navy but during the medical i found out i was half deaf something i have not known for my whole life and its not a curable deafness either so my dreams were just shattered on the spot that day and to make things worse they told me a brain tumour may be the cause of the deafness (its not by the way) so i was quite depressed and scared i has a bomb in my brain this would have probably driven a weaker person to contemplate suicide but not me yea i was depressed but that night me and all my friends went out for some coffe and hubbly bubbly and that made me feel so much better having people there for me that would listen and understand and get me through it.
The problem i think with these teenagers that kill themselves is that they have no one there to listen to them or to help them since they are usually the schoolyard misfits and im sorry to single out a social group but they are usually the Emo kids that think suicide and self harm is a thing to be desired. These kids need to stop isolating them selves from society getting involved in drugs and such and become happy with who they are, they need to get real friends not just "my space friends".
More to the question 'What can perants do to prevent this?" well my perants are great they are always there for me and will do anything for me. The perants should take an interest in their kids and give them the love and attention they deserve no matter what house hold they are from they need a loving mentor to guide them in the right path and sadley all the kids i know that had killed themselved either didnt have this or got dangerously involved in drugs which the perants should have picked up on aswell if they were remotley intuned with the kids life. This includes visiting their kids myspace or whatever site they use, I dont have a myspace because i think its rather stupid but kids i know have all their stuff on it and because thier perants dont have the computer intellect to go there they hold some dark secrets there a personal story i know is a mate who is into drugs and on his myspace is him with bags of the stuff and he was a user of it for years and his mum only found out recently when he left his myspace page open on the computer by accident and his mum went to use the computer and all hell broke lose after that when she saw the photos he had there.
Sorry if that was a bit to read but thats just my personal view from the eyes of a teenager themselves so i thought id share.
Roslyn
Having had a friend who's teenage son took his own life I can only say that young people have to know that how ever bad it may seem there is always someone who will listen. Your parents want you to reach out and if you cant talk to them, they are quite happy to organise anything to help you find your solutions. All of us older people have had dark days of one sort or another you just have to take it slowly, there is no worse punishment for your loved ones than knowing you felt so helpless that suicide was your only option.!
Alicia
The problem with teenage suicide, is you don't notice there is a problem umntil it is too late. There needs to be more information easily accessable by all parents in regard to the danger signs. As a parent, all you can do is try and have an open relationship with your child, so that they can come and talk to you if they have a problem. If you punish a child for drinking, drugs etc in a way that is all one sided, your child will never talk to you about these topics again. You need to le them know that what they did was wrong, and why, and that you are always there for them, no matter what the problem is. Persoanlly, I believe bullying is the biggest cause of torment for a child in their teenage years. I was bullied every day at high school for no reason other then I wouln't do what the popular kids did. There was no teacher help, and if you did tell on the bullies, it only got worse. This is something that needs to be addressed!!
Majestic12
Perhaps if society and the media can stop encouraging young people to be 14 going on 30 for starters. We have a now mentality in our society, where young people especially are taught that to be successful you must 'have'. The latest gadget, phone outfit, group of friends, even independence. If you don't get you are well entitled to sit in the corner and hold your breath or at worst take your own life. Many teenage suiciders aren't from poor environments o broken backgrounds. Kids from well brought up and affluent environments are just as prevalent.
What ever happended to just being a kid. When it''s time for you to be an adult it will happen but stop trying to grow up so soon. I get so frustrated with youth who appear to be so demanding of everything without anything in return.
Perhaps a return to responsible parenting and schooling and a reductions in media and press behaviours that encourage a selfish life that will always lead to shortfalls that exacerbate depressive states.
Oh and stop assuming that because you child is sulking that they automatically have depression and needs to be on antidepressants. The tribulations of growing up are exactly that tests to devlop the skills for adulthood, yet somehow we've lost that.
rugby fanatic
Right on . What ever happened to patience - we live in a "now" society . I'm constantly watching children & teens throw temper tantrums if they dont get "now" . But in a lot of instances they are following their parents example . Get now pay later credit ,instead of waiting until they have the cash to buy it
It's called PATIENCE
jatz50
Many years ago I lost a friend to suicide. She was 16. No one saw it coming, Her parents were the nicest people, she had a happy home life, she had lots of friends. I actually saw her the day before and she was as normal as any other person. She was laughing with me, telling me she would ring me the next night. I never heard from her again. The next day she was dead, she suicided. No one knows why, she seemed so happy.
They hide their feelings well. It is the ones that say they are going to suicide that you know that they are having problems and we can help them.
judi1
It was very sad to see that the two teenagers, Stephanie Gastier and Jodie Gater thought they had nothing to live for.
Suicide is never an option. It solves nothing for those who choose to take it and it leaves the families and friends who are left behind distraught and unable to comprehend.
I think it is very important to always keep the lines of communication open with your children, particularly when they are in their exciting, but often difficult, teenage years.
I, myself, have a 15-year-old daughter who knows that she can come to me any time and talk about absolutely anything. Recently, I had to ask her something that could have been confronting but she was happy to reassure me and she said to me, "Mum, don't you think I would have told you?
I am so grateful for the strong bond I have with my daughter and pray that it will always remain that way.
sandals
I personally think most parents don't understand their own children and most children don't feel understood by their parents. If there were ways for better communication and greater understanding then that might go a long way toward helping.
Tanya
I think we need to reduce the chance of ISOLATION. Get them involved in plenty of extra curricular activities with lots of different kids, and plenty of ROLE MODELS they can trust to talk to in times of depression, like SPORT COACHES, GUIDES, TEACHERS, COUNSELLORS, FREINDS PARENTS. Who ever talked to their own parents about their problems. ??A trusted teacher saved me when I was in trouble at 17.!!!
barbiedollybird
Parents need to communicate with their children. Too many parents don't even sit at the dinner table and talk to their children. This is a priority that needs to be started from infancy and we need to keep sitting with them, sharing and talking. being open and honest with our kids and sharing in their lives gives them a sense of belonging and love.
Kids also need boundaries. They need to know them and they also need to no that they are not negoitable. keep moving the boundaries and they don't know where they are.
We need to have parenting classes at school. Understand the role of a parent, and the role of a child. We need to share and be a partner to our kids, to a certain level, and they need to know they are loved and cared for - but they need to know we are the parents and we have to make the tough calls. They need to respect these times and they need to respect us as parents, and themselves as indviduals.