Pet Lovers

Do you feel guilt after your dog has passed on

Pet Lovers

Posted by: uruz

6th Aug 2011 01:26pm

This may seem odd to some but here goes. To give a bit of background, I am a Vietnam Veteran who has PTSD. When I was working I had a beautiful dog Matey who went everywhere with me and was ever so loyal and forgiving. During the build up to my final breakdown caused by PTSD, I was at times rather cruel to my dog. After my breakdown and becoming stable with counseling and medication I changed and gave him all the love I could. When I had to finally say goodbye to him I was devastated. That was nine years ago but I still cannot forgive myself for the times I mistreated him despite everything my psychiatrist or anyone else says about me not being myself at that time. Does anyone else have this problem? If anyone has had it I'd love to know how to put my mind at rest finally.

Comments 12

lurch101
  • 14th Sep 2011 09:53pm

it is most unfortunate that we out live our pets, but such is life and we have to move on regardless of how we feel about the loss of our companion, aint life a kick in the guts

uruz
  • 30th Aug 2011 07:28am

Thank you to all you wonderful people for your comforting replies. I'm working on getting over my guilt and Talk to my dogs spirit each day if you can understand what I'm trying to say.

Hartmut
  • 30th Aug 2011 03:43pm
Thank you to all you wonderful people for your comforting replies. I'm working on getting over my guilt and Talk to my dogs spirit each day if you can understand what I'm trying to say.

Hi Uruz
Some will understand what you are trying to say.
Science tells us that nothing is solid but made up of sub-atomic energy particles(like quarks and strings); and that energy can never disappears, but can change and manifest itself in many ways and forms.
In that sense everything is connected and nothing ever dies but merely moves to a different level in the Ultimate, All including and self-aware Energy Source (some call God).
There is no guilt, all is merely an experience to evolve and grow our individualized Soul Essence. Often persons, or animals travel together, learn together and part when their lessons or mission has been completed.
It seems to me that your mission has been very well accomplished and you and Matey can move on from the past to new future experiences.


Wen
  • 20th Aug 2011 07:52am

Not odd at all. That is the difference between Humans and Animals. They seem to have the ability to know when there is something not right. Matey would have known and understood completely. That is why their love is so unconditional. Forgive yourself as Matey has already done that. Enjoy the beautiful memories as that is the only thing that counts.

Dot
  • 18th Aug 2011 02:35pm

We had to say goodbye to our beautiful springer spaniel a couple of months ago. My guilt is that I had to make the decision for her to go ...
In your case .... just remember the good times ... you did what you did at the time for a reason .... just focus on all the loving times and forgive yourself for the rest ....

jules 1
  • 18th Aug 2011 10:10am

Please try and forgive yourself, and forget, other wise you will make yourself ill. Like you said in the end you gave your dog all the love you could give him, and it sounds like you did do this. So I reckon your dog was a happy dog.! FORGIVE YOURSELF!

Sesh
  • 18th Aug 2011 07:23am

Hi uruz,

Your dog forgave you a long long time ok for any bad treatment you gave him. He loved you with all his heart and he knew that it was not the real you when you treated him badly. After you got yourself stable you gave him everything he could have ever needed.

If he had not loved you he would not have stayed with you. He loved you and forgave you a long long time ago. Now it is time for you to forgive yourself. You made up for any bad treatment he got at your hands. Animals are wonderful creatures.

Please try and forgive yourself for doing things you had no proper control over. Matey forgave you so time for you to do so as well. He really did love you and forgive you.

carolinekate
  • 18th Aug 2011 01:27am

Guilt can be a very destructive emotion & I empathize with you as I had 2 dogs, one 13 & his son 18months old. Long story short, they ended getting picked up by the pound & put down before I had a chance to find them. I was devastated that I had let that happen. Now all I know is that I will never make the same mistakes again & give my current dogs the best life there is. Dogs live in the now & don't dwell on the past. They are very forgiving & understanding & I bet your dog would have understood what you were going thru more than you ever realized.
Dogs don't rationalise like us humans do, they react to the now & that is all that matters. Your dog was much loved to the end & that is what matters most.
So don't beat yourself up & let go of your guilt & remember you did make up for the bad times.

Hartmut
  • 18th Aug 2011 12:04am

Hi uruz,

Your story is not odd at all...

Unless a person has gone through it themselves, No One can know what suffering a veteran with the searing memories of war and PTSD goes through. Some do recover, but I suspect many do not.
But I do know that all living creatures are like leaves that grow on the same tree,
and all are connected on a higher level.

Your dog, like us, is a manifestation, a part, of what is called God, - for lack of a better word to describe the Ultimate Energy.
As such Matey knows what you have gone through and he has long since forgiven your (trauma caused ) transgression again him.

It would be best if you forgive yourself too, which would not only help you, but also Matey because he is not dead. He is still very much alive - in a higher spiritual dimension and still connected to you and may suffer from your
guilt-feelings.


All the very best to you in your continuing journey,
Hartmut :-)

Maybe my little story below can explain some of what I am trying to say,


FLUFFY

Mary’s sweet little cat had suddenly died. Absent minded the sombre twelve-year-old girl straightened a few white flowers on the makeshift grave she and her mum had made. Tears welled up in her red rimed, sad eyes. AngelWing handed her a handkerchief. Mary looked up at her friend: “Is it true that animals have no souls and can’t go to heaven?”
AngelWing gave her a warm hug: “It is true there are many who say that they can not develop beyond certain...”
“Yes, but what do you believe?” Mary interrupted.
AngelWing smiled reassuringly: “I think, God being God will not put any limits on his own creations.”
“So then you believe that my Fluffy can go to ..., is in heaven?” Mary questioned, still uncertain.
“Yes Mary I do because the God-Energy is unlimited. If Fluffy wishes to become a human or even an Angel, can you imagine that an infinitely powerful God will say, ‘No, Fluffy you can not go to heaven but have to stay of being a cat forever?”
“No’, I can’t imagine that God would be so mean and petty. But how come that Fluffy can evolve further than being a cat?”
“Because, Mary, nothing can exist outside of God. Animals are a part of God too and therefore the God seeds within them can grow into anything they wish.”
“But AngelWing Fluffy did not know anything about God.”
“That is true, animals are not aware of the source they came from. However, when did your own self-awareness arise? Did it suddenly spring into being in a fully developed human being, or did it first evolve through a series of lower, but growing levels of awareness in, say, plants or animals?”
“I don’t know” Mary answered. Then her mournful face lit up as she joked:
“If I had started out as a rose, my name would be Rosemary.”
AngelWing laughed: “Yes, why not? And if a rose is aware and can grow better by responding to a friendly voice or music, then, why should that awareness not be allowed to grow further than its present state?”
Mary shrugged her shoulder: “I’m not sure? What do you think?’
“I believe that an individual God spark is created as a separate Soul entity and that its long journey of self-discovery begins from a place it can cope with. From there it will slowly evolve into a higher and higher state of being, and finally God like awareness.”
Mary looked puzzled: “Are you assuming all that or are those proven facts?”
“Only God can know all the facts Mary, but I firmly accept that God grants every being absolute and unlimited growth. Consider, why would God want to limit its own manifestations? How else can God experience itself - if not through his own creations,
like Fluffy?
Mary felt now much better, “So, my Fluffy is not really dead, just gone somewhere else and perhaps I can meet her again in a different time and shape?”
“I don’t see why you should not, can you?” AngelWing asked
Mary shook her head with a big smile as they slowly walked away from the secluded spot where Fluffy rested.

* * *

Hartmut
  • 30th Aug 2011 03:52pm
Enough of the god stuff.

Enough of the god stuff?
Caroline, on this pages every one has the right to voice their opinions. If you wish to bellow orders to stiffle or shut them down, you may be better suited to comment on the YouTube website.

uruz
  • 30th Aug 2011 07:25am
Hi uruz,

Your story is not odd at all...

Unless a person has gone through it themselves, No One can know what suffering a veteran with the searing memories of war and PTSD goes...

Hartmut, thank you for your comforting words. While I cannot say they have done the job, they have given me much food for thought. Again thank you.

carolinekate
  • 18th Aug 2011 01:28am
Hi uruz,

Your story is not odd at all...

Unless a person has gone through it themselves, No One can know what suffering a veteran with the searing memories of war and PTSD goes...

Enough of the god stuff.

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