What are your observations on society and where it’s headed?

Anonymous

No we are a believing society beleiving in God in some areas others not at all but still believing.

Anonymous

new zealand has definitily evolved in recent years from various reasons one of which is the role of media impact on society . tv was in the not to distant past the base for good manners and ettiquette it showed us as a sociey what standard was required by members of society. .todays media swears confronts and shows disrespect for those in the limelight as well as intruding on peoples lives ,they have played a role in nz becoming a narcissistic society .communities are now having to pick up the pieces of theor society by looking at what they can do to improve their own piece of the white picket fence .maori have progressed in this way with many going back to family land to instill some form of honour in their people , and it is a hard road for all , goverment reduction in supporting theor people has diminished the role of family and local community nz wide and many fight to keep their communities going by doing it on theor own.many small communities such as otorahanga have looked to go back to the basics and start from school age for the next generation to\ achieve not only for their futures but for the community they come from

Anonymous

people like kim kardashian sicken me

akya

Having spent some time teaching and dealing with students that fit under the Gen Y banner I would have to say that the majority do seem to have narcissistic tendancies. Unfortunately this seems to tarnish the ones that don't, with a whole generation being tarred with the same brush. Good manners & regard for others are still apparent.
Now having 2 small children, my husband & I (both Gen X'ers) are acutely aware of instilling 'old school' values to our kids with the hope that in the future they are the kind of people to think of others first, help where they can & hopefully make a difference, whether it be to someones day or someones life.
Both sets of our parents were raised in regional areas, so perhaps we are just passing on what they've already instilled in us & that's what a lot of Gen Y's are missing.

CAT17

Australia has changed from the one I grew up in, but I think generally we are the kind of people who do band together and help each other. We aren't a big population and yet are very generous when it comes to putting our hands in our pockets to help disaster victims. I dont think time will change the spirit of Australians. You say in 5 years we will change, I think you are wrong.

CAT17

Australia has changed from the one I grew up in, but I think generally we are the kind of people who do band together and help each other. We aren't a big population and yet are very generous when it comes to putting our hands in our pockets to help disaster victims. I dont think time will change the spirit of Australians. You say in 5 years we will change, I think you are wrong.

taffy

Everyone is saying what's wrong with society today but noone is giving the real cause. It is because we have rejected out Christian heritage and Christian way of life. People need to turn back to God and read His word (the bible) and see how we are supposed to live. Jesus said love one another as I have loved you. If we live that way there would be less violence and less wars.

jules 1

I feel society has changed so much over the last 30 years. People have no time to offer help to anyone (some do) I feel it's very sad, and can be quite depressing if you listen to the news of a night, as all you hear is of bashings, people fighting for their lives after being 'king hit', break in on homes. ... I just find it so disturbing, where I don't want to go outside my door. It's a very sad world today.!

Richard

LIVING IN christchurch has tended to bring the best out of the majority of people. In truth we are all members of the human family and are brothers and sisters in life.

squijeelulu

I noticed that the people who have replied to this, so far, display that they value good manners and etiquette and sound like they have good community spirit, so here is a representative population of a society that we remember and love.
I believe that the proportion of selfish and disrespectful people within the general population has not changed all that much, but our access to information about events locally and worldwide, has increased to such an extent, that we are overwhelmed with stories of crime and lack of compassion for our fellow humans and animals.
Moreover, we no longer just rely on reading, but have a world of pictures all day and everyday, so I would suggest that visual media is way more powerful in sending those messages.
I'm 58 y/o and still remember bullying at my school, bullying/harrassment in the workplace, and gang wars and violence in the streets in the 1960's and 1970's and films being made about those things since talking pictures. "Westside Story" was based on street gangs and racial violence in the 1950's.
The violence during the prohibition years in the 1920's also comes to mind.
In conclusion, what has really changed other than more laws being introduced to offer us and the police more protection and power to control this.

sexy rexy

These days the young seem to think us oldies have a n alterior motive to everything we do.Good manners are a thing of the past which is very disappointing.The other thing missing today is respect the number of older people being bashed is alarming,years ago these people doing the bashing would have been sorted out by the community they lived in.The DOGOODERS have ruined our society ,it really makes me wonder what rock they live under when the Judges allow these animals get away with these shocking crimes.

cooncat1

If we look at the writings handed down from past centuries, for example, the 14th century, or even from the Roman and Greek Empires, older generations criticised youth, and the prevailing degredation of society and poor attitudes, and the failure of those ruling to do anything about it. Future generations will look back on our times and see the familiarity. That doesn't mean it's right, it just means it's humanity.

ekontos

it's sad to say but it's what see all the time. people don't seem to care very little, very little common sense and courtesy out there, oh and caring about peoples personal space.

19chris51

I`m really not too sure I`d even like to think of it, in actual fact I have grandchildren 9..7..and 5, I hope it is good for them, I shudder to think, we are becoming so multi cultural, I wonder if that is really gokng to be good for Australia?????????

Joydy

I think the media has a lot to answer for. Is the world so different or do we just hear more about what is happening. Didn't we get drunk, drive home from the pub, get into fights - 30+ years ago but it didn't make the front page of the papers. There are some nasty people about but the vast majority are good people. Not newsworthy so we don't hear all the good things people do. Lets all dig a little deaper and find the good that people do not keep looking at all the negatives.

becbrandon

We most certainly have evolved into a narcissistic society. Natural disasters tend to pull communities together and we often hear of many good will stories. However, these are isolated events - our everyday lives do not seem to exhibit the same compassion and help for those less fortunate. Manners - what manners!!!

Evangeline

An elevated sense of entitlement and ungratefulness seems to be the new norm. Disregard for an authentic value system, acting coldly with self interest and without regard to others is resulting in violence and confusion.
Society is evolving, but into what?
Shifts in values and attitudes of our society has left many Australians with heightened feelings of loss of control, loss of confidence and an increasing sense of isolation and loneliness.
Dogs are a valuable and legitimate part of Australian society.
Dogs break down barriers, are wonderful companions and help people meet and make friends. Being a dog and pet owner means thinking about someone else. I am grateful to my friendly dog Kevin for encouraging me to go for walks and chat, mostly about him (giggles with people I meet .
The pendulum of change is swinging and challenges us to the concept of live and let live as the new global attitude.

Anonymous

Definately. Manners and etiquette have really gone out the window. Very little or no community spirit.

lisa

I live in high density housing where the neighbours think nothing of cranking up the music at 3am.It is a high rental area and I don't know my neighbours.

Captured

I think there are many people out there mixing with us each and every day who do not think about anybody other than themselves, but on the other hand i have also seen first hand that there are still very kind, generous people around who do want to help others from the goodness of their heart.

I have four children and have raised them to be polite, use manners, respect their elders, etc- this is how i was raised and i want my own children to grow up with the same values as i have been raised with.
It is not hard to say please or thank you, giving a stranger a smile or saying hello doesn't cost anything but it might be the only smile or hello they get until their next outing.

When i was heavily pregnant, i had to use public transport (buses) a bit and on quite a number of occasions i had school aged children/teens and other people who would sit in the easily accessable seating and glare at me as though i was a parasite, only a couple of times i was offered a seat.

It is sad to think that there are many people who do not know what manners are let alone know how to use them, butwhen i do encounter someone who is kind, it really makes my day.

lumpy

I think society as to the one that was there when I was growing has all but gone. I've stepped back and had a look lately and manners & etiquette are none existant. It's everyone for themselves and this I find is sad. Sure when there is a disarster we do help but why does it take a event like that to make us want to help. All I here is what's in it for me, these days if there's water spilt in a supermarket, people think wicked, I can get money for that, gone are the days of just telling an employee so it can just be cleaned up. But I don't think the media helps at all, sure they keep us informed but for who benefit and they normally get to chose to topic, and then if you comment on that topic they have the right to edit to the thinking that they want you to be thinking. It's just sad our society these days. I have taken a lot more notice of late because I got a mortgage and I wanted to be involved in my community and it seems you can get a lot more included when you do have one, but I found that I can't make a difference, unless of course I have a law degree or some more brains than I seem to have in my head, because now I have just given up, because they don't listen to you, even if you do ask them to, all they seem to care about is making their mark in history and they don't actually care if that mark is a good one or a bad one as long as it is a mark. And the area I moved into is not one that has a great reputation, but it was cheaper and I do know people in the area and I do feel that you do have community spirit but is that enough when those who don't live in the area don't have any spirit?

DickBill

I think that one of the reasons why people have become more self -centred is because they don't take any responsibility for what they do. The government and our legal system has taken that away from them.
When you kill someone, there is always something that can be blamed for that apart from yourself, so a lighter sentence will be applied. You can't manage money, the the government will take care of that, etc. etc.
Take responsibility for your own actions and your family!

Not Applicable

Being an older person in the community I would always have to say that society is becoming more self centered and the good old days were far better than today.

Which in a lot of cases is true. However, we must remember that the community has grown in both numbers and technology. Way back it always took mum an hour or two to cook tea. Whereas now days it only takes 5 minutes or so. because of the technological advances and microwaves. Subsequently, society is becoming attuned to the instant response for everything. Which in turn means that people become impatient when something does not happen instantly. This in my opinion is what causes most of the current problems within the community.

Furthermore, it is normally the youth who get the blame for all of society problems. However, we must first look ourselves as parents. It is us that set the example for our children to learn from. Consequently, it is the parents of children born over the past 3 to 4 decades that are nor responsible for the actions of the current community.

From my point of view kids are great people all they need is to have the correct example to follow and the world woud be a much better place.

Naeorange12

Hi all. I think values and respect for others and property is definately changing. Not for the better! Maybe we are giving our kids too many "things" and not enough life experiences. We probablly sit in front of the tv and computer, game consoles for too long I have to say that i am probablly guilty of these things myself. However, i live in a small coastal town that is friendly (strangers say hello as you are walking by!) and beautiful.
When disaster and heart ache strikes, it seems that the majority of people, all rally together to help one another. It's amazing!
How many people know their neighbours well anymore? Maybe we all just need to make more of an effort to acknowledge others and do a good deed for someone every now and then. And get away from all the electronics just a little more each day.

deb

I believe that society is becoming more aggressive, immoral, impatient, unempathetic and perhaps even disengaged. I find that media are to blame alot for this for encouraging and even steering a majority of members of society towards their own contrived agenda. The media, white corporate Australia, and even govt are steadfastly convincing us how important the youth are for our future, yet neglecting many others that make up our society. The youth are becoming: angry, arrogant, stressed out, aggressive, (made to become) more adult like sooner, and lack both empathy and manners. I live in a world where racism, ageism, sexism, and homophobia exists. This is a world where everything is categorized for the sake of supposedly efficiency, effectiveness, and economic factors. I hate the Australian society I live amongst. I know there is a minority out there that I can relate to and have empathy and compassion for, and, I agree it is probably the older members of society whom are truly decent and caring.

Mumof4GC

there seems to be more "community" than there was years before, people rallying behind a cause to help something or someone in need which is good. As far as manners and etiquette this is taught in the home so if the parents are not polite they are not going to teach their children to be polite unfortunately and the cycle goes on again for another generation unless someone decides that they want to do something different and is enlightened to the fact they don't have manners and the way they act is unacceptable and with all the self development courses that seem to be out there now a lot of people are doing this I have found in the circle of people that I know

Leelita

Compared to 20/30 years ago you'd think with the population being so much bigger there would be more people willing to help others. I know with the floods etc most people pull together which is so heartwarming, but what i miss is the little things that just dont happen anymore, like men and boys giving up their seat on the bus for a woman or older men. This just does not happen, BUT i do know my 19 yr old son does do this as he has been TAUGHT to do it. Parents just are not teaching their children "respect" for OTHERS! And the amount of road rage is disgusting, i saw a man i around 30yrs of age get out of his car at a set of lights, go to the car in front of him which had an elderly man at the drivers wheel and his elderly wife in passenger, the windows were up and this younger man stood there "SCREAMING and JABBING his finger on the drivers window screaming "DONT YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN' I"M TELLING YOU" and he said it over and over again. This poor man just sat there waithing for the light to change. I felt so bad for him and his passenger, i thought if i was a big burley man I"D step in and tell him to close his mouth, see if he'd have a go at someone his own age but bigger. I was also abused by a man in his 50's because he didnt like where i parked at the shopping centre, he started smashing the back of my car with his shopping trolly, where i parked did not concern him and in no way interfered with him, he just wanted to have a go at someone and being a OBVIOUSLEY weak man, decided i was his victim. NO ONE at the shopping centre asked him to stop attacting me and there were men standing around watching, i had my little boy with me and was so scared but was not helped at all! Not Right!

brett

Live in suburbs and know only really people to left and right and have been there 10 years life is so hectic cannot find time some times

Boffin

I do not follow the media regularly, but if time to time I do, I do not pay too much attention to nonsenses they claim to be true. The society is in general sound and healthy (my opinion).

DanishTina

I think society is becoming more and more narcisitic. Just look at the way people are responding towards members of society who happen to be on disability, illness or unemployment benefits. It's turned into blame 'the recipient'. I happen to suffer from very severe Bi Polar Disorder yet have managed to work fulltime for over 20 years. I am now 43. This was extremely difficult to do, and often brought me to my knees, however I was determioned to do what I could to never be a burden on anybody. Unfortunately during the last 4 years or so my illness (despite ongoing treatment which I have religiously followed through my whole life - although sometimes to my detriment) my illness has deteriorated during the last 4 years to the point where I'm no longer able to continue to work (I'm a University educated professional) and I have experienced nothing but discrimination and judgement since. I'm single and have no family. I have not only lost my career but also recently my house. In 7 weeks I will be homeless. I am not eligible for the Disability Pension as Bi Polar Disorder is deemed as being an illness where I could possibly get 'better' within 2 years. I can't be on Sickness Allowance as I don't have a job to go back to. I am on New Start Allowance though deemed incapable of currently working. How can I survive? New Start Allowance pays close to only about half of the Disability Pension. Nobody cares. If it wasn't for my little dog (who I rescued from the RSPCA at 8 months of age after he had been abused by previous owners) I would just give up. My dog is now 7 and I figure I have to stay alive for at least another 7 years as I have a responsibility to care for and be there for my dog. After that I can thankfully leave this world behind!

squijeelulu

I think society is becoming more and more narcisitic. Just look at the way people are responding towards members of society who happen to be on disability, illness or unemployment benefits. It's...

You sound like a good person and should be admired for your inner strength. It's very sad and unfortunate that you are suffering such financial hardship, but at least you receive a regular allowance of sorts.
Before the 1970's there were NO benefits, and people like yourself, were forced to live on charity from welfare organisations like the Salvation Army, because there was NOTHING else.
Many people who could not look after themselves, financially, were placed in "homes" with NEVER having any opportunity to ever live independent lives!
Would those times be better than now?

Flymow

Yes you are right. Society has changed and unfortunately not for the better. Morals and values have gone by the board in many cases and areas. Families often don't spend any quality time together eating meals, discussing their days and generally communicating. (Fault the need for 2 incomes to survive). As a result the art of real face to face conversation is dying and many young people spend hours on computer gaming consoles and media chat sites without having any real valuable face to face communication and social mixing with anyone. No Manners, No respect for possessions and property and no respect for selves. Very sad.

petag

I work with teenagers and it is very rare when I am thanked for my efforts. I know that teenagers are always self-centred but there does seem to be less respect for adults these days. Children seem to grow up more quickly now and have little need of manners and etiquette. Bad language is so common and they do not see this as a problem as they have grown up with it on TV and movies, etc.
.

gaygay55

My how times have changed and in some cases not for the better. Kids of today seem to have their own agenda and are very opinionated. A smile or a kind word never goes astray but they find that a hard thing to do.

Jubie

the level of common sence and respect seems to have droped significantly and it makes me wonder if it has much to do with the fact that there arnt as many mums at home anymore. I know its really hard financialy not to have both parents working and that most people dont have the choice but if we all stayed at home and instilled the values WE want in our kids instead of hoping the daycare teachers will would it be different?
or has the programing we allow our kids done the harm? i know parents who let there 6-10 year olds watch R16 movies and tv programs but i also believe that most R16 movies should actually be R18 or AO. it seems to be ok to allow our kids the things we were too young for at the same age.
the other really big issue I see is the media itself, if there wasnt so much horrific stuff on the news at 6pm while kids are up would we be so afraid to introduce ourselves to the neighbours? would it hurt to start playing one feel good story at the end of the news like they used to instead of putting it in the late news???
positivity and happiness is actually addictive and contagous.... remember how when someone laughs you laugh with them??

marianne101

Yes, we are more selfish and materialistic and place a great deal of importance on our appearance (clothes, youthfulness, how big our house is etc). Even though medicine can 'cure' disease, it seems another virus or bacteria appears to baffle the medical profession and scientists and I think we try to rush things without knowing the consequences (flu vaccine etc). I moved to a regional area 7 years ago as I was unhappy living the pace I was and am so glad I did. I would hate to be on my deathbed wishing I had enjoyed a better quality of life and time with my family so I think change is more accepted nowadays instead of loyalty...which is both good AND bad!

gah gah

yeah you sure are right, but it is not just the young people, I am a mum of two teenages, one boy ,one girl and am always reminding them to watch were they are going, because they tend not to see people and walk in front of others. but stand back and watch how older people treat them, they bump in to them, cut them off and then get angery with the kids , How are we to fix this narcissistic society before it's too late
gah gah

Jim 007

I think these days if you want, a plastic card will get it.Layby is a better option,and you dont have to keep up with the Jones.People live beyond thier income and pay the price for it,the banks love it.Also these days both couples work, and dont have much quality family time with thier spouse and children.I was so lucky to have that family time when i was young.The world keeps turning round,but people need to stop and think hard these days.Jimbo:)

lesleyt

Society is taking a giant nose dive into hell. The violence shown to fellow humans and animals is totally unacceptable. The so called "Justice System" is a joke. The corruption in all levels of Government and Law Enforcement is a guarantee that the bad apples in the barrel are going to survive. We need proper leadership and plain old honesty. Anyone now where we can find it?

lesleyt

Society is taking a giant nose dive into hell. The violence shown to fellow humans and animals is totally unacceptable. The so called "Justice System" is a joke. The corruption in all levels of Government and Law Enforcement is a guarantee that the bad apples in the barrel are going to survive. We need proper leadership and plain old honesty. Anyone now where we can find it?

mummy2jj

yes i agree that we are very much an angry and stressed and time poor society now.... what i have noticed though when i visit my sister in law in the country is everything is laid back and not so stressful which in turn makes it a lot more positive environment. It doesn't suit the lifestyle out there being negative.

sandy

I feel respect for elders have dis - integrated as well as respect for those in authority. There is more community spirit in smaller towns. It is unfortunate that manners and etiquette are on the downside. I feel that people do not respect themselves and this leads to disrespect for others. I feel a lot of the programs on television do not encourage respect & reallity. Also with the papers reporting mainly bad things this makes people afraid to offer a hand to others.

wendymick

I find nowadays the young people have no respect or manners.I dont know if it is our fault as parents as we dont instill these things in them.I think that it is sad, because it doesnt take much to be polite or respectful!!!

hispania

My experience on the roads in the last year or so makes me believe that road manners are on the increase. I have been let into streams of traffic regularly and this has encouraged me to reciprocate. It is just as well people are being better mannered on the roads because the roads are more and more crowded.

catzwhiskaz

We have become self-centered in our lives - I put that down to the fact that too many people are downright greedy and will go to any lengths to get what they want. Manners and courtesy have been watered down, you just need to walk down the street to hear obscene language in everyday conversation. People used to be arrested for such behaviour.

There is less community spirit now, we barely know our neighbours, let alone those a street away. Everyone says they are just too busy to be bothered.

It would be nice to see a return to some of the pleasantries of not too long ago and I just hope my own children are able to enjoy the comradeship, support and happy enthusiasm we did when they were young.

Poppy.

I believe that society has certainly changed over the years. Thoughtfulness and manners seem to have fallen by the wayside. Some people seem to have the couldn't care less about anybody else attitude. I have lived in a big city in the past and I have found that if you need help from a stranger, you just won't get it. I now live in the country and the people here are so friendly and helpful. It seems that nothing is too much trouble for them, some will even go out of their way to help. We seem to have a really good community spirit in the rural and regional areas.

Karsh

I too think it is such a shame that society has lost the values of good manners, as one of your readers already pointed out, violence is on the increase too. I live in a rural area where years ago you would go out & leave your doors unlocked, do that today at your peril. Unfortunately you don't even know your neighbours, they are either too busy or just don't care. I really do not know where the world is going to end up.

Harley man

Society like mankind has evolved and will continue to do so until we become extinct. We would not have survived without evolving. The planet is evolving and so is mankind whilst not all evolution traits are for the good of the planet I do believe evolution is a good thing Animals evolve all the time and this is through the survival of the fittest. If you look at a incarseration system you will find that it works the same way, It is those who act the meanest and nastiest who run the system. Manners and etiquette have suffered the most in the process. When I was in school we had great respect for teachers and they were all known as Miss or Mister. Today more and more schools use the teachers first name so as to not appear to be standing over the pupils. I feel this is so wrong as we are letting the pupils down by not teaching them respect for others.

sprinkles

We're kind of insulated these days, and there is an element of fear to that because of what we see on the news. The closer you get to the city, the less friendly people are, always in a hurry to get to wherever they're going. Going to a shopping centre is like entering the land of the zombie people. Many people are damned rude and walk right through you as if you're not there.
There are always going to be individuals who surprise you and help you out. In our area, the people are very friendly for the most part. I think its living near nature, the wetlands and the beach. And all the beautiful animals.

kerrym

It's ironic that in a shrinking world where communication is giving even the most isolated communities access to global connection and exposure to world events as they happen, individuals are becoming increasingly isolated. There is an extent to which that very explosion of technology can be blamed for this, making it easier for socially-challenged people to retreat without having to access human assistance, where once the community would have needed to lend a hand.
Such things as on-line shopping and services facilitate the recluse, as well as gaming and social networking seducing and often imprisoning those who fall prey to the illusion of "community" - ones where they can hide behind a persona, shield themselves from reality and never be accountable to others. Lack of real relationships is unhealthy, and in extreme cases virtual life replaces real life, along with the breakdown of social consciousness and morality.
Let's face it - relationships take work, and community demands give and take and self-sacrifice. Several generations now have suffered from lack of parenting, mentoring or proper nurturing to growing numbers of children, so how are they to pass on what they've never been given ?
We try to address this in our church. Social justice and community are very much the focus of many churches, who, along with other wonderful organisations and individuals will be found wherever there is homelessness, drought, flood or disaster. Sadly, it's the day-to-day concern for our neighbours that is so often lacking.

vonnel

Thoughtfulness, politeness and genuine compassion ARE deep inside all of us but don't expect to see them if you live in a modern urban area. The problem for everyone is that there just isn't enough time - for yourself, your family, and definitely not the community. The less crowded an area, the more polite and compassionate the people living there. So sorry city folk, if you want old fashioned manners and community spirit, you'll have to move to the country.

gabesmate

I believe that it is still extremely important to have decent manners. It seems to me that there is no doubt that people are not as well mannered as they have been in the past. As an older person I really do notice the difference from what things were like when I was younger. It must, however, be said that everyone my husband and I meet is invariably kind and good-mannered to us, and for that I am grateful. I live on a semi-rural area very close to the largest shopping centre in Queensland. We frequently go there and always find ourselves treated well by everyone. The restaurant at which we eat a couple of times each week is staffed by mostly young kids except for the managers. They all know us, greet us by name and often stop for a chat when things are quiet.. I feel as though to suggest that society is narcissistic is wrong. When I was young, some were narcissistic, some not. I suspect that most people treat you in the same way that you treat them.

Stix

I live in a tiny country town in north-east Victoria but I have lived in Melbourne and other capital cities in my time. I would suggest that there is definitely a greater sense of community in the country and people are more likely to live up to their social responsibility to one another because in a small community you cannot hide amongst the crowd. You are identifiable and everyone knows who you are and what you do. Country communities thrive on a sense of isolation that compells them to bond together and work to help each other and achieve their goals.
There are still great people doing selfless things in the city but they are fewer and further between and tend to be older, with a more established sense of community. It is far to easy to become self-centric in the city. These days there seems to be an increase in people going out to work and then racing home to their private enclaves which with their families, become their entire focus. People have beautiful homes, theatre rooms, McMansions, amazing gardens and kitchens but only share themselves and their prosperity with themselves and their immediate friends.
I think it would be interesting to know how many people in the city actually know their immediate neighbours names? I would imagine it's probably about 5% but I am pulling numbers from mid-air. I would imagine in the country that it is closer to 95%. Perhaps a survey could give us some real data?
The trouble in the city is that it is too easy to hide amongst the masses and potentially dangerous to involve yourself with strangers so people just keep their heads down and move along. While it's possible to live like that in the country, it's much harder because you often need the help of others, whether you are dealing with natural disasters like bushfires or more immediate drama's like having a car out of commission and no public transport. You need others to help you in these situations and this fosters that sense of community and forms a bond that feeds itself exponentially. The entire community becomes your circle of acquaintences - there is nowhere to hide. It is exactly this attitude that made me decide to live in the country and raise my family despite the economic hardships we suffer as a result of lower living standards and employment rates etc. Infact the mutually shared hardships form a stronger bond amongst the locals and help us to identify with one another. The disparity in personal circumstances in a large city just enforces the sense of isolation from one another and leads to an attitude that is automatically less community minded and more ego-centric. At least that's my opinion, for what it's worth!

Bridie

Society as a whole has certainly changed over the years. Some people no longer have time for others, Most are in too much of a hurry - going about their business without a thought for others and not willing to help out when their input could make all the difference to somebody in need of a kind word or helping hand.... It's all Me, Me, Me.
Manners are also a thing of the past. "Please" and "Thank you" are not in alot of folks vocabulary anymore, and driving on the roads has become a nightmare for most - all because we have become impatient and aggressive.

We, as a family have attempted to get to know our neighbours but only one household are interested. We are not after living on each others doorstep but to be able to chat over the fence when we see each other, would be nice. Instead, the majority these days are hell bent on getting on with their lives, head down, bum up - not bothering to take the time to interact with neighbours and definately not strangers.
I do voluntary work in the community and see many unhappy, lonely people - not all are old either!
We seem to have lost the spirit of interacting with and acknowledging the presence of others today, and if you recognise yourself as being like this, then you are missing out on a very important part of life,.

Kiwisue

AS People turn away more and more from the teachings and laws given to us in the Bible, changes in attitudes have to happen. Its a case of turning from the Light to darkness.
Children are not longer disciplined for fear that society wont approve, so manners generally deteriorate and this then affects the whole of society.

wendel

I don't know, but it sort of scares me. So much violence and bad attitudes in general among younger people these days. What do we blame it on? Ourselves I guess? Or do we blame TV, films or the Internet? That's too easy to do. Even older people are losing touch with family values, souch a terrible shame. Our grandparents/parents seemed to manage very well, if everyone could learn from them how things would be better I think.

GretaZ

I think you are all on the right track. Chivalry is DEAD! Not for many older people, but for the younger generation. They are arogant (not all of them, so please don't take offence!), pushy, manners are non existent and they look at you like you are an Alien sometimes. I get frustrated by their manner too. My husband is disabled, and he gets very short tempered when they cut in of push their way through a shopping queue. We older people tend to let someone go in front on a supermarket queue if we have a lot and they only have a couple of items. Last week a young lady( I'm only 55 but I feel old sometimes) let me in front of her because I only had 2 items and she had a trolley full. I thanked her politely and she seemed surprised! Younger generation, don't be surprised when we thank you or apologise, it's the way we were brought up! We learnt to be polite and have manners at a young age and many of us still utilise them! Of course, there are also older people who seem to have forgotten the use of manners too! One elderly gentleman at a supermarket, pushed me out of the way when I was choosing something from the shelf. I turned and said"Excuse me would be nice". He just scowled at me, and stomped away like a two year old. Does everyone remember the saying, "Do unto others as you would have done to you"? When for me it's very relevant! I hope we learn to be more tolrant of the BULLETPROOF younger generation, but it's damn hard!

Gerry1945

Yes more horrid neighbors who think they can play loud music anytime of day. More hoons making our streets unsafe. Bad uncaring drivers drugged and drunk crashing into homes and killing people. More alcohol fueled violence when people go out on purpose to get drunk and beat anybody up. I say jump on them and jail them and make them pay. Country people are closer and more caring mostly but they still have these problems too.

taffy

I certainly agree. Young people seem to have no manners and ones committing crimes are getting younger and younger. This country needs to get back to its Christian heritage. There are a lot of young people in my church and they are so different to the young people in the world because they have Christian values.

Missjackie

I certainly agree. Young people seem to have no manners and ones committing crimes are getting younger and younger. This country needs to get back to its Christian heritage. There are a lot of...

Taffy, please don't forget that the "Christian values" you refer to are not unique to Christians. I was bought up under the baptist church, then Church of England, and am now a devout atheist. That said, now more than ever, I live my life according to "Christian values" because I believe it's the right thing to do by people, and if everyone was to treat others the way they would like to be treated, then the world would be a much better place. Whether you are part of a church or not, these messages need to get to the kids of today, and I think the problem is that if a child's family is not religious, they generally miss out on these messages altogether. As you can probably tell, I'm all for ethics classes in schools.

peterv

I agree with most of what's been written so far.I was brought up in an era where part of lifes learning curve included looking out for others and treating them with respect.sadly that all seems to have disappeared these days,with a few exceptions.I helped an older lady recently who was having trouble with the air hose at a service station.I offered to show her how it worked and then did all her tyres for her.You'd think I'd saved her life! She was surprised and very grateful so that was reward enough,not that I wanted or needed one.

dee

No I don't think that we have evolved into a narcisistic society. I live in a sydney suburb and our community spirit is alive here. If anyone in the street needs help there is always someone there to help. We in my section of the street put out garbages and collect letters for neighbours who are away on holiday and keep an eye on their homes as well.
If someone is sick or their car is broken down or lost keys there again will be someone to step in and lend a helping hand, take a pot full of soup. a shoulder to cry on or lend them their car to take the kids to school.
As far as the manners and etiquette is concerned yes they have dissappeared a lot unfortunately. children don't seemed to be taught them any longer and it is rare to hear a child or for that matter an adult or dare I say it a senior citizen even.
I think its the business of the city and everyone is in so much of a rush that they just forget to take the time to do these things.

Lou

The previous comments have a ring of truth to them. When I lived in larger cities I experienced this lack of concern for fellow humans - one incident when I fell and badly sprained my leg a young mother who had been watching from her yard just turned her back and walked into the house and left me to stuggle home painfully. I now live in a smaller country town and find that there is still some of the old fashioned values here. I am what is considered one of the 'baby boomers' and I feel we have a lot to answer for. It was a lot of us who decided that our kids should have all those things that we didn't have and gave birth to the generations of 'do gooders' that have followed who have severely curtailed our ability to dicipline them. Without proper dicipline and routine children will grow to be narcissistic. Lack of dicipline and routine leaves a child feeling no one cares enough so they become self centered and demanding for attention.

Marivig

Gone are the days when everyone knew how to behave in public, no one opens doors any more or holds a chair while a lady sits down, every one is out for there selves wrapped in there own little worlds. Children are brought up with no respect, gone is discipline. I was brought up to respect my elders and was smacked if I was naughty, It did not hurt me, I had to work for anything I wanted and work hard for it, now days everything is expected and if they do not have it, they steal it. Drugs are now a way of life and are breeding a generation of zombies. Bring back the old days, when everyone respected and had manners.

Anonymous

I live in a rural community in Gippsland that was devastated by the Black Saturday bushfires. As a community, we have become more strong, kind, supportive and polite... but when we venture out into the "real" world we are often shocked by the narcissism of greater society... and we find that we too start behaving that way. I don't have an answer for it... just observation! My observation is... this is sad.

ctillyer

My husband (35 at the time) offered his seat to a woman, who was probably in her late forties. It wasn't her age that prompted him to do it; he did it because he still believes in chivalry. She declined the seat, but what shocked him was the filthy looks everyone else (who had a seat) on the bus gave him.

I once gave up my seat to a man on crutches. I was 8 months pregnant and the other two men in the other occupied seats were aged 25–40. They may have had ailments that prevented them standing for long periods of time, but they certainly didn't look unwell or disabled. Their embarrassed faces gave it away as well. I hated catching public transport when I was pregnant because people were so rude and inconsiderate all of the time.

Everyone things their own life, their own problems and their own pleasures are so much more important than anyone else's. It's all 'me, me, me'.

I'm happy to say that communities like those affected by the Black Saturday bushfires give me hope that there are still many people left on this earth that don't think it's all about them. It's just such a shame that a catastrophic tragedy has to happen before people stop and help others.

We need to start teaching our children a bit more humility and spoil them a lot less or it will continue to get worse.

alli

Why are we blaming society? Each of us is responsible. We have allowed inappropriate behaviour to become the norm. We have allowed the media to make "stars" of people behaving badly. Why would you expect the normal person not to mimic this behaviour? We have also, in our paranoia, forgotten how to be friendly, the basis for forming a community. As a result, manners have been pushed to side, only to be practised at home, if then. Take charge! Yes, one person can effect change! Teach your friends and family to use manners. Politely, but determinedly demand the respect you deserve. You maybe surprised at the reaction (sometimes grudgingly, nobody likes to be reminded that they're being rude), usually an apology - vacating the seat, holding the door open or the swearing stops. I recently refused to serve a customer, (he was on a mobile phone, until he hung up), he was surprised when I told him he was being rude. He had never been taught it was rude not to give your full attention to the person you are addressing. Stop blaming everyone else, take a good llok at yourself.

Innercitymum

At the risk of sounding like my parents, yes, I agree that we have lost sight of the importance of human contact and acts of random kindness that make the world a better place, a happier place. Everyone is so caught up in texting, facebook and twitter and online babble that they have forgotten how to engage socially and face to face. We have forgotten how important it is to treat one another with respect. There's too much road rage, young people don't treat their elders with respect and courtesy anymore, people don't open doors or pull out chairs, or greet people with a smile anymore. Everyone is in a hurry and barrel over the top of one another yet they are all so Quick to exclaim how many 'friends' they have on facebook. Manners don't seem to be taught or valued anymore. People think it's OK to conduct personal grooming such as flossing, cutting their toenails etc in public spaces. People think it's Ok to conduct loud telephone conversations at lunch tables and in galleries or while someone is serving them in a shop. I am constantly aghast at how rude, selfish and narcissistic we have become. My parents live in a country area and people are much friendlier, say g'day, don't rush and have time to just exchange pleasantries with one another. We should all just take a step back and smell the roses, as the saying goes.

Di

we have become a very consumer driven society where by bigger is better...the more we have the more we want...and along with this comes the decline in morals and manners...we want it now!!!!!..and we mean now!!..Families are stressed to the point of breaking and quiet family times are a thing of the past as Mum and Dad are driven by the need to work longer hours ...people need to be reminded to treat their fellow man as they would like to be treated and that what goes around comes around...give rather than take..and always help out someone in need if you can ..compassion,love and good morals make the world go around not selfishness,hatred and disregard for our fellow people..step back and teach our children to 'smell the flowers'...:)

ianhnz

I think, just me, that the way the country is heading is the richer get richer and the poorer get poorer. If you are in a well paid and secure job, you will disagree, with me. But, I have been there too. However, now, my wife and I are in poor health, can't work and have to rely on government hand outs, as some call them. We both had good jobs, but poor health over took us. Now we are, very much, hand to mouth, pay week to pay week. I know most of you will not understand, but we are not here by choice. Please try, at least, try and understand...

boppa99

Manners Changed after Womens Lib,
They Also Need to bring back Hanging,Thats probably Why Crimes Are bigger Now,It was"nt easy in a Grand Parents Time Like it is Now,It"s just mosty a pat on the Back
Also I mix with Friends in Society With Charitys To help Guide dogs etc And other Events.

Xena

I personally think that respect has gone out the door... respect of ones self, parents, teachers, other people's property... the list goes on. Young people seem to, as a generalisation, established an.. I broke it... You fix it.. attitude as well. It seems to be more about W.I.I.F.M... (What's In It For Me) too than what can I do for my community...

JohntaNZ

The Boy Racers really get to me as they race around wearing hoodies so they can't see out the sides and they don't give a care about anyone else on the roads

Yankeedoodle

Hi Rainbow,

I have a country property 2 hours from Melbourne and I go there every week-end so I can be around real people because the society of today in the city has gone right out the window. The population of the town is about 285 and on Good Friday we had a community fun day which was run by volunteers. Businesses from towns around the district donated items to be auctioned off and to cut a long story short we raised over $16,000 for the Childrens. I believe that regional areas have more manners and community spirit where as the suburbs of the city don't seem to care. It is so sad when you do something so simple as to open the door for a women you get looks like why did you do that. I am from the old school and was taught to respect you elders, say please and thank you, etc.

alm

Society has definitely changed now. More violence,self centeredness,uncaring and it's becoming harder to find friendly people. No ethical gesture let alone conciousness between young people and older people..where have that good old days gone..when all that was taught at school??

Anonymous

I think society is going through a transitional stage. We have so much wonderful technology, but perhaps emotionally or spiritually we are unable to take full advantage of it. Isolation is a problem - one day my daughter, son-in-law, hubby and grandboyz and I were all in the same room, but there was a sense of isolation because three of them were on their @#$#$ iPhones, two of them on their DS, and guess who was in the kitchen watching it! :) I have lived in four different countries in my lifetime, and I have found a smile wins out 99% of the time no matter the culture. And there is the ever-present bad news media who seem to forget that there are wonderful young and old people in society doing great work.

Doc

I have lived in both city & country situations.
I prefer the country situation but that is even getting less friendly.
I also feel that society values are getting lower & lower.
I can't understand why we have to follow other countries habits, an example is this planking.
I think this started in the US.
If our youth were not so interested in being sheep & following, the young man on the Gold Coast would still be alive

JohnC

I am not sure that narciissistic is the right word, but I would certainly say that our society has become increasingly selfish. Manners and etiquette have a practical purpose, they ensure that a person knows how to behave in a variety of cicumstances and social groups without embassing themselves or offending others, and in some cases they are safety related.

Eamples:
Cars: A recent RACV invesitigation revelealed that there are now more cars etc in Australia than there are people. People drive with windows closed radio/CD on, a/c on, totally unaware of what is going on around them. They seem to be purpose driven to reach their destination, and nothing is going to stop them. Tail-gaiting is rampant. These are selfish actions.

Trains, buses etc: People no longer stand back to allow passengers to alight, they crowd around doors eager to get on. This is impractical; it is logical sense for people to leave before more people get on. People do not give up seats for the elderly, infirm, pregnant women etc, despite the fact that the law requires them to do so.

Language in public is appalling. I have observed women on trains blush with embarrassment at the words that come out of the mouths of schoolchildren. I myself have often moved to another part of a train to get away from what I do not want to hear, and should not have to hear in a public place.

These are just a few examples, i could go on for pages. What is lacking is self respect and respect for others.

punkin

It is only as we get older that we learn satisfaction, pleasure, and contentment only comes from doing kind things for other people - even just giving them the time of day.
Unfortunately the media, and advertisers, give a different message, which young people in particular, believe.

punkin

It is only as we get older that we learn satisfaction, pleasure, and contentment only comes from doing kind things for other people - even just giving them the time of day.
Unfortunately the media, and advertisers, give a different message, which young people in particular, believe.

punkin

It seems built into our nature to go after more and more self gratification to bring about a happy life. As you get older you begin to learn that it is in doing kind things for other - even just giving them the time of day - that you get an inner feeling of satisfaction, pleasure,
and contentment. The media gives us a completely different message unfortunately, which younger people believe.

punkin

It seems built into our nature to go after more and more self gratification to bring about a happy life. As you get older you begin to learn that it is in doing kind things for other - even just giving them the time of day - that you get an inner feeling of satisfaction, pleasure,
and contentment. The media gives us a completely different message unfortunately, which younger people believe.

Leelita

I have to agree with you there. Life is a great experience when we honour God by serving others in small or great ways.

I wish more people felt this way. My 11 yr old son was telling me last night that out of 400 kids in his school there is 8 that go to religion and instructions. So sad that parents are just to lazy to teach there kids about God!

punkin

I agree with you about the self gratification. i think if you just believe your on this earth to have fun and look after yourself then thats exactly what humans will look for "self gratification" ...

I have to agree with you there. Life is a great experience when we honour God by serving others in small or great ways.

Leelita

It seems built into our nature to go after more and more self gratification to bring about a happy life. As you get older you begin to learn that it is in doing kind things for other - even just...

I agree with you about the self gratification. i think if you just believe your on this earth to have fun and look after yourself then thats exactly what humans will look for "self gratification" But if you believe in God and a life after death then there would be a lot more loving in this world.

Skippy

Society is more violent. Humans don't have respect for each other anymore. Violence, theft & rape are all on the rise. I can remember a time when my mum would go out & all doors, windows were left unlocked or open & you'd go home to everything left as you left it. Now u don't even need to be out & you can be violated in your own home. Manners & respect have blown out the window. All the 'f' & 'c' that flow off human tongues in public is attrotious. Fowl mouthed mongrels is society of today!!!!

Motherparrot

With recent disasters in Queensland and Victorian bushfires before that I don't believe our community spirit is less, just buried more but comes to the surface during such times. I am very lucky to have lived in the same neighbourhood for 30 years but we take a little time to foster well being in our small section of the street, we have an annual street party at Christmas and other get togethers during the year. It just takes one brave soul to make the first step. Many charities have a special fundraising day eg Biggest morning tea so perhaps this would be the ideal opportunity to meet the neighbours; or in a multicultural street perhaps honour an event that is special eg Chinese New Year. Everyone just brings a plate to share in the theme, something to drink and if there are children, a game to involve them all - a treasure hunt with lollies is always popular and easy to do. Our next neighbourly event is Christmas in July involving 4 households but it's a great time to check in what people are up to. In the meantime, a friendly wave is all that's needed to keep in touch.

mustang6000

I feel that the media only looks for those with a negative attitude or wanting to express anger about an issue, as the old saying goes 'Good news does not sell'

As we have often seen, when there is somebody in need within a community, we as a people usually will band together to aid and support them. I have often done so myself as a member of a Service Club and it is this type of support that is given without the need for public acknowledgement.

So, my opinion is that if the focus is given to those with a negative attitude, it will permeate through society. However there are always people willing to give when needed.

Joydy

I feel that the media only looks for those with a negative attitude or wanting to express anger about an issue, as the old saying goes 'Good news does not sell'

As we have often seen, when...

Good to hear from someone who is out there helping - if we all did a bit the place would be a better - lets try and make or read the good stories - perhaps even demand to hear the good news!

Analog6

I think many of the problems of our modern society can be traced back to loss of community. Once you had local shops, with a general store, maybe a butcher and bakery, and you would meet the locals as you purchased your newspaper, your meat and bread and milk. Now we have huge malls filled with multi-national stores and our sense of community, in most areas, is gone.

We no longer know who are locals and who are not, and we feel suspicious of strangers because the media has a negative focus and the powers that be tell us terrorists are everywhere and foster suspicion and distrust. Even religions and church foster this culture of 'if you ain't with us, you're agin us'. What happened to love your fellow man?

We no longer stop to help people in trouble because we don't want to get involved, we might face litigation, we might have to go the extra mile for someone we don't even know (horrors!).

Our children don't walk to school anymore, so they don't know the neighbours either, and see older people as past their use by date, so not their business. And at school it is all about who has the latest designer this or that in clothing, technology and all else. This, of course, reflects the rampant consumerism of most homes, we must have the biggest and latest TV, home stereo, kitchen and even house. And if we haven't got the money for it, no problem, put it on the never never.

And we no longer take personal responsibility - if something goes wrong it must be 'someone's' fault. And if we are really lucky, we'll be able to sue someone for it and get some money out of it! Whooppee!

And I believe it all goes back to losing our sense of community and involvement with our neighbours and those close (physically and emotionally) to us.

I think one step in the right direction would be to discourage huge shopping complexes in favour of smaller local units, either mini malls or even individual shops - I believe our governments and councils or other local planning authorities should do more to foster local living (good for our environment, and health, too if we use the car less) by giving the tax breaks to small businesses, not the huge megaliths that currently do it so much easier.

(Sorry for the long rant, you hit on a pet hobby horse of mine!)

fletch

I think society is going downhill everyone is walking around looking at their phones and texting instead of talking and the young ones are really out of control and it does not seem to be getting any better

woodie

Many believe the world owes them and they can do what they want. I live in a Country area and overall the children are more responsible but there are still those who are not given responsibilities that have the me, me attitude. We also have many from the city moving here and their attitude tends to influence others as well. Unless parents take time with their children and learn to discipline and give them responsibilities, this will only get worse. The bureaucrats need to let parents be parents. I had both discipline and responsibilities as a child and grew up with a good view on life. I was smacked often too and it never did me any harm.

Alex

I think that good manners are essential to society in general, regardless of ethnicity.
Good etiquette is a matter of opinion, depending on your culture; common sense is a better exercise to follow, in spite of the politically correct B.S. which has crept in to everyone's life over the past decade or so.
Unfortunately, Community spirit has been compromised by over induction of immigrants, who tend to seek out their own people with whom they can communicate.
Probably just a human trait, but nonetheless it has altered the concept of what is a `Community'.
In big cities, it is hard to find an iconic Kiwi community anymore.
This is not bad, just a bit sad to see such a large cultural change take place in a relatively short period of time.
People come here to enjoy the relaxed Kiwi lifestyle, but once they get here, it is elusive, (in cities at least).

Lyn

City life is bound to cause disconnection between people. If we live in a small community where we know each other we tend to act more responsibly. On the other hand, a large city where most people are strangers makes us less likely to be held to task for our actions. It tends to encourage us to be less kind and friendly. It is also much harder to trust strangers than people we know so we tend to expect and even encourage disconnection from others.

devylkitten

We may appear to be more narcissistic in nature as it seems life has now taken a rather hectic pace - people are working more hours due to the rising cost of living, managing multiple tasks and dealing with companies that are less customer focussed due to the sheer volume of customers on their database. Are our manners worse due to the stress of 'keeping up' in the modern world maybe? Has so called 'progress' in society made people a little less community focussed and poorer in etiquette - simply because they are frazzled, can't cope and struggling to cope in the modern world themselves - so much so that they don't have time for the struggles of others?

fpucek1

What I have noticed in my short time on this rock, is that people's attitudes vary from town to town and state to state. In one town that I recently graced with my presence, I found most people genuinely friendly, talkative and so on. Yet in another part of this great country of ours, I found most people to be arrogant and/or angsty. I think it really boils down to what part of the world you live in and your own personal beliefs/attitudes towards life. We all have our problems, some people just deal with them in different ways I guess!

wowi

Until last week when i ran into trouble with my mobility scooter breaking down while crossing a busy road, i too thought society had changed immensely in the way that no-one wants to get involved by helping out another person in fear of retribution. The way some parents raise their children has certainly changed because good manners and respect seem to be a thing of the past with most parents just not caring what their children are doing with their lives or how they treat people. However the 2 councilmen that came to my rescue by loading my scooter on their truck and taking us home has restored some of my faith in mankind. I suffer from chronic oesteo-arthritis and at the age of 49 it has restricted my life immensely. I have been made fun of and teased by many teenagers who just didnt have any respect instilled into them by their parents. I was always taught that good manners and respect starts at home and is shown by example. Society today has a lot of responsibility to bear too when it comes to these situations because nowadays noone trusts anyone and that is a total shame. I have raised five children, now all teenagers and i am proud to say at least my five have been taught good manners and respect for others. Thank you greatly to the men who came to my resuce it was greatly appreciated and to show my appreciation i rang their workplace and paid them a compliment through the department for which they worked. It was only good manners to do so.

mysteron347

I moved to the West more than ten years ago. One of the things that struck me was that holding a door for someone as I had been taught was acknowledged politely whereas in Sydney it was more likely to attract a snarl of 'I can do that MYSELF!'

Sadly, I find that this, too is slipping by, even here.

I also find that it's the older people who complain the most who just as inconsiderate. They dodder about obstructing aisles but simply barge past you if you get in their way. No attempt to stand to one side of the aisle, slap bang in the middle, demanding that you get their permission to pass, confident in the support of the local chook contingent to protect them because they're old.

But it's not just manners that's grinding society down. It's lack of pride in work, sheer laziness, wanting to be paid in full for half a job and accepting poor service and quality for fear of being dismissed as a whinger or having some variety of prejudice.

And the politicians - of all creeds - head the pack, with their tame cohorts, the lawyers and the judiciary. All out for an easy ride - ignore the principle, grab the money and it's all for our immediate convenience. Anyone who disagrees with them will be decried from the hustings - and best of all, at their own expense.

And where's it heading? To a new dark age. We don't have laws any more - just a series of arbitrary contradictory rules applied according to convenience accompanied by the authorities' insane cackle of 'ignorance of the law is no excuse' - when the judiciary itself can't decide what the law means, the politicians change it to suit their political aims anyway while the lawyers feverishly stir the manure-pot.

Time was that a degree meant something and a licence was issued to show competence. Nowadays, a degree is no more than a fancy fees receipt for attending a course in nothing-in-particular and a licence is a bribe for a turn on the government's money-gouging machine.

It's all about the money.

skier

I despair at parents of small people in this day who allow their pampered offspring to bully the adults. There is little respect shown to or required by the adults, with those kids growing up without any guidance or inkling of what the consequences of their actions could be. Manners seems to be a forgotten notion, no please, thanks or may I be excused from the table as it is so old-hat to have a family meal away from TV!!!!
Double income parents are the worst offenders as they don't understand their kids' basic need; loving time with mum and dad--not the "stuff" overload. It is the home environment which gives the youngsters the guidance to consider others instead of just themselves.

ally

Imoved from Melbourne 2 years ago and it now sounds like a scary place from the media, but it was scary 30 years ago when I went from the country then. I think it depends on what you give out/nurture. Fitzroy and north fitzroy had a sense of community as I became more familiar and involved. My country town is also very genourous swapping produce and ideas. The secret is get involved, get to know people, we haven't changed, just a little more wary and frightened by the negatives from media.

Ingi

Today society has gone to wrack and ruin, no morals, no disciplines, no smacking, it's stupid. Even though I am an old bag myself now at 69 I always open the door for someone else especially if they are older than myself, it's just common courtesy, I used to offer my seat always as well, but now I have to sit as I am disabled and cannot stand for longer than a few moments, today the world is not a very nice place to live in, let's get back to basics.

BigRev

in general i believe we are becoming more impersonal, we learn to zone out, as there is so much communication happening around us, we deliberately take action to ignore everything around us as a distraction. yet we have seen how we can pull together in times of crisis, but, once that crisis has passed we revert to an apathetic state. i am heartened when i see/hear children act with respect, display manners, but god forbid i get before a tribe of students trying to board the train/bus.parents are afraid to punish their children, police cannot offend a suspect, while we condone the forcible jailing of immigrants and their children.

michb

I am 51 years old and do not believe how society has lost it's manners. I have found that even the older generation (aged 60-80 years) do not even use basic manners. Where have please, excuse me, thank you etc gone? And then people wonder why the children do not behave properly when they have no active role models. I am not ashamed to say my 26 year old son and I still use our manners in most circumstances, nay I AM PROUD THAT MY SON DOES! If I find I have stood out of the way for someone to pass by me and am not thanked, then I will loudly say " and thank you to you as well". I merely hope that it remoinds them that manners do exist still.

mummylady

It's all about me, me ,me. I need to be here now and you're in my way! Something as simple as holding open a door for a mum struggling with two children is too hard for some, and where I live is barely a city. And since when did it become alright to not stop at a carpark crosswalk for pedestrians?? I'm not talking teens here it's people my age in their 30's who are the worst for this!!

Raka

Please and thankyou should never become extinct or considered old fashioned but unfortunately in todays "Me" generation, these simple words can be lacking from conversation. The lack of manners and courtesy extends across all age groups though, no-one is exempt. Grrr dont even get me started on eating with the mouth open, lol. Does it start at home, Im sure it does, we can only lay the blame on our own doorstep. Im lucky enough to live in a community where people remember your name and the shop keepers greet you like old friends and we can still say "good morning" to eldery people withouth them thinking we are about to mug them!! If I took public transport I would definitely give up my seat for an eldery person. Unfortunately the media do LOVE to senationalize everything and the area where I live has not had favourable media attention in the past. This would make one assume that this is not a good place to live, work or raise children. I disagree with that and do all three. The media dont tell you about all the good stuff that happens in the community, only the bad stuff as this is deemed more news worthy. This doesnt just apply to my community but every community in NZ, the unsung heroes in the background, community workers, wardens, fundraising commitees, working bees, community patrols the list goes on. We live in a takeaway generation where not alot is saved for the future, will we still have antique shops in say 40 years time and what on earth would be in them, the mind boggles. But despite all that, its nice to know that in good old NZ the community spirit is still well and truly alive and that for some, manners and etiquette will always be considered essential.

kezmag

You just have to get in your car and drive to see how much society has changed for the worse. There are so many stupid people on our roads. They are selfish and only have tunnel vision. "As long as I am okay mate, I don't care about anyone else" That is the attitude now.

Jodah

I think that in today's society people tend to be more outspoken about things they don't like or that irk them, then things that they agree with or make them happy. It's like the News......bad news sells. When however there is a community or state wide emergency, people's true community spirit comes to the fore. My small regional community does have a sense of this community spirit as it often is looked down upon as a less desirable area, and not given as much importance by the local council for instance as those closer to town. We support each other in trying to have a greater voice and a fairer go in the shire.

Dazza09

I certainly believe that the teaching of manners to children when they are just learning to speak is not seen as being as important as it was. Parents don't seem to pick up on their children when they don't say please and thank you. Is it because some many families have both parents working and they are to exhausted to even notice

Poppy

Society today is all about the "me" There is general lack of consideration of other people; their feelings, abilities or for some even that they exist
If people considered themselves as part of a community, town, city country whatever. And then saw themselves as an interacting part of that group there would be less crime, roadrage, rudeness and we would all be much happier

Anonymous

We also need to look at telivision and see what was allowed on our tv stations a few years ago and see what is allowed now the telivision stations have relaxed dramatically

Anonymous

Yes society has definately changed when you look at the society years ago a ma would step aside for a lady waliknig towards him and the lady would say thankyou unfortinately not being sexist at all but the woman expect it now.
As for children they expect more and definately have no respect its bad when they wont get up on the train for an elderly person to sit down.

Martin

I often wonder whether the huge popularity of period dramas (think Pride and Prejudice) was due to the fact that the characters always treated each other with extreme (and formal) courtesy.
It isn't that there was any less selfishness, self-centredness or plain malice than in our own world, it's just that the world runs a bit better when people take the trouble to bother with manners.
I think that appeals to people in some deep and unconscious way. We all want to be treated with respect. Perhaps it's time for a little more of the old 'please, thank you' and 'may I?'........

Palladin

WITHOUT WANTING to envoke politics into this discussion it is becoming evident that politicians are the single greatest cause for "revolution", social disobedience and the disintegration of society in general.

What one side of politics says, the other tries to "sink" ~ regardless of virtue or value. The sad thing is that half of our society supports one whilst the other half supports the other. What a sad state of affairs ... perhaps the only solution is the immergence of a dictator ... ... or two.

Even more evil than brainless politicians is the greedy Media who have their own agenda and will embelish the truth for the sake of profit and increassed advertising revenue.

Sus1

Whether we feel society is more narcissitic probably depends on our view of the world and what we believe about it's state, whether it's static or in an overall state of decayal. If the world and the societies in it are decaying then narcissism will generally follow along with a host of other attitudes and behvaiours. I don't think we have to look far to see examples of narcissitic attitudes, ourselves includded. Who wants to think that maybe they aren't as important as they believe, that they deserve that car spot over someone else, they have worked hard and deserve the reawrds. A question is can society be redeemed from the decay?

Palladin

WITHOUT WANTING to envoke politics into this discussion it is becoming evident that politicians are the single greatest cause for "revolution", social disobedience and the disintegration of society in general.

What one side of politics says, the other tries to "sink" ~ regardless of virtue or value. The sad thing is that half of our society supports one whilst the other half supports the other. What a sad state of affairs ... perhaps the only solution is the immergence of a dictator ... ... or two.

Even more evil than brainless politicians is the greedy Media who have their own agenda and will embelish the truth for the sake of profit and increassed advertising revenue.

K13

when i was a kid, on the bus you got your bum out of the seat if an adult got on. today i was on the bus and there was a lot of school kids. there was about 10 adults standing up and not one kid offered their seat. the kids had their bags in the aisle and there was 4 of them standing in front of the back door making it hard for people to get off the bus. we would have been thrown off the bus when i was a kid

i remember having my mouth washed out with soap, being belted with mum's belt and other sorts of punishment. these days if you punish your kids, they run to the police and theyre actually listened to! i belive kids should have rights but so should parents

i was at the local shopping centre food court last week waiting in line. a woman jumped the queue and when i said that i was there first and she jumped the queue she told me where to go

i was walking up the street today and i said hello to an eldely lady who looked terrified! isnt it a shame when you feel like you cant say hi to someone in case they are frightened

i think society today is horrible. people have no respect for each other. parents have no rights and their kids know it and thats why kids are so rude today

on the flip side, ive seen some really nice acts of kindness lately too which restores my faith in society a little bit

Paulie

when i was a kid, on the bus you got your bum out of the seat if an adult got on. today i was on the bus and there was a lot of school kids. there was about 10 adults standing up and not one kid...

We recently spent two weeks in Singapore. Their underground is the most efficient, on-time subway system we've travelled on, anywhere in the world; but what really surprised us is the number of times a younger person stood, indicating one of us should sit. That has never happened to us once, anywhere in Australia.

I guess the other thing of major concern is the extent of violence in our cities.
We really miss our kids, but we're actually glad they live in large cities overseas.
Our perception, having travelled for decades, is that they're safer, far from home.

Chris

I don't think the media accurately reflect people, & I don't think people can be grouped into conveniently differentiated generalisations. Nothing is ever that simple in life. Manners & etiquette are just symbols of respect for others & in & of themselves can be meaningless without a true intention. I would rather feel that good intention from someone than a robotic learned response. The best thing you can teach your kids is to think kindly & to be kind, & you can only teach this by being it yourself, cause kids know the difference between what they are told to 'act' like & what they see demonstrated in reality.

June

Being from the older age group, I have noticed a marked difference in the behaviour of the public in general from earlier years. In general most people seem to be quite rude in the way they treat others. They don't consider others and will stand in the way on footpaths, sometimes in a group strewn across the path so that others walking past have to squeeze past. They don't even apologise or make an effort to move. They do the same in Supermarket aisles also. When you meet a shop assistant who is well mannered and polite and obliging to you. it's a real pleasure and quite unusual these days. Mobile phones are also used inappropriately, especially in cafes and at checkouts. I live in a regional area and until recently it did seem better here but I have now noticed that things are becoming the same here.

Jezemeg8

Some people say that basic courtesy is no longer needed, however, I've noticed that now some people (presumably the same ones) are also calling for manners to be taught as a subject at school
Unfortunately, as with most things, manners (courtesy) is best learned by a child within his/her own family, so it is unlikely to be successful as most seem to think acknowledging someone, saying please, thank you, etc is unimportant when placed alongside what is happening in today's world.
Personally, I think that the world would be a far better place is basic courtesy was in place, and the focus changed from what makes the individual feel good, to what helps others. Today's society is very much focussed on what benefits the individual, then what benefits others. God bless.

chez

Yes I think we have in some ways, the lack of manners in most generations is deplorable, it is not the young but older people can be just as bad. People have lost their self respect so can not respect others, this is not true of everyone I must add, but of those the media reports on, they only seem to report those.

gabesmate

Yes I think we have in some ways, the lack of manners in most generations is deplorable, it is not the young but older people can be just as bad. People have lost their self respect so can not...

I am sad that you feel this way, Chez. I am an older person and I believe in being polite, thoughtful and good mannered towards everyone with whom I have any dealings. It seems to me unfortunate that you believe that people have lost their self respect. Let's face it, of course the media only reports by and large on people who are doing the wrong thing. This is a shame, but I have a very bad feeling that the majority of people like hearing about the rotten things that happen. If my memory is right many years ago they trialled a little paper that reported only good news. Unfortunately hardly anyone was interested. That just seems to be human nature.

Stufish7

I am of the older generation and I have noticed in the last couple of years that women are surprised when I stand back to let them go first - out of a life for instance. So I guess the younger generation have not got the etiquette or manners of their parents any longer. Maybe this is as a result of the rise of feminism and the demand from women to treated more equally.

Catenary

The icy and dehumanising grip of narcissism has been steadily increasing, but there are 'green shoots in the snow'. A disproportionate number of "Gen Y" young people are doing great things in work with the disadvantaged, both here and overseas, a notable example being the Oak Tree Foundation. And there is a growing movement in some churches to cultivate real care for one's neighbours, in practical ways, not just from 'religious' motives.
I live in a suburban court, and it is gratifying to know that if just two couples in the court look out for their neighbors' wellbeing, it is as catching as measles.

bernmar

Society has certainly changed in recent years. There seems to be more violence and more self centredness. Manners seem to be a thing of the past. It is so refreshing when an act of kindness is generated as in a younger person standing up on public transport for the elderly.

Anonymous

I agree with what you say. Therefore I make a point of helping people with doors,parcels or children if need be. I also make a point of thanking people who help me. I like to treat people how I...

i agree.

Toki

agree with all you said

It is the small things that make a big difference in life, an act of kindness from a total stranger has the power to turn a person's day around.

Mazzs1

Wow you are my kind of people Sandy! I am now a senior (66) and have very silver hair and I find young people do give up their seat for me and smile at me. I sometimes worry about the way some...

I'm not far behind you in the age stakes and I find most young people are reactives not instigators. But our society has definitely changed with the rapid advances in technology it had to, unfortunately manners have suffered along with the written language. Mobile etiquette is my biggest bug-bear. I was at a funeral yesterday & people hadn't turned them off, and when out to dinner if you can't turn them off or onto silent then why go out. Years ago Telstra (then Telecom) wanted to bring in timed calls & everyone was up in arms about that, well people what do you think you have with mobile phones!!!
Most people in the suburbs never talk to their neighbours & probably don't even know their name. When walking down the street or the the local shopping centre SMILE it costs you NOTHING.

Mazzs1

since the QLD floods I have seen our community and region really come together as a community. On the day of the "super" storms (before Brisbane or Ipswich flooded) I witnessed unknown neighbours...

Whilst that is great that you banded together it took a disaster to make you all come together. Let us know in 5 years time if that same spirit you have now is still the same.

CAT17

since the QLD floods I have seen our community and region really come together as a community. On the day of the "super" storms (before Brisbane or Ipswich flooded) I witnessed unknown neighbours...

It is marvelous they way bad times bring out the best in mankind. I must admit I have never suffered from any kind of disaster (floods etc) but I am very much aware of how resilient people are and how they dust themselves off and get on with it! Aussies are so good at getting on with the job and it is a trait we are known for. "Come on Ossie come on come on" is very much how we are. What a great country we live in and what great people we are.

CAT17

I agree with what you say. Therefore I make a point of helping people with doors,parcels or children if need be. I also make a point of thanking people who help me. I like to treat people how I...

Wow you are my kind of people Sandy! I am now a senior (66) and have very silver hair and I find young people do give up their seat for me and smile at me. I sometimes worry about the way some people treat others, but I think there are still plenty of us out there who smile at each other, help each other and generally behave well. Manners are a little shaky with some, but if we all did the right thing by raising our children with manners and care for others, the human race will survive. Don't take what the media says too literally - they sure could use some manners!

CAT17

I agree with what you say. Therefore I make a point of helping people with doors,parcels or children if need be. I also make a point of thanking people who help me. I like to treat people how I...

Wow you are my kind of people Sandy! I am now a senior (66) and have very silver hair and I find young people do give up their seat for me and smile at me. I sometimes worry about the way some people treat others, but I think there are still plenty of us out there who smile at each other, help each other and generally behave well. Manners are a little shaky with some, but if we all did the right thing by raising our children with manners and care for others, the human race will survive. Don't take what the media says too literally - they sure could use some manners!

malt

I agree I cannot believe how selfish and self centred people have become over the last few years. There is so much more of the gimme this, gimme that without any thought as to how it may occur....

I agree with the majority of comments although I believe a lot of it is to do with us living in the "now"generation. I was brought up in a world where if you didn't have the cash to b uy something you saved up un til you could. Everyone did the same thing. I believe that this meant that you valued your possessions far more than people do today and you respected other peoples property as you know what had to be done for them to get it. These days everybody wants everything now and they aren't prepared to work for it but get it on credit, interest free terms or some other means. There is no longer any respect amongst the younger generation (not all of them) for anyone elses property or in deed themselves. Everything is a quick fix, an adrenalin rush and few are willing to gain a work ethic but expect to get the top dollar from jobs which they b elieve they are entitled to just because they completed a course. I am disappointed with the majority of todays society and am horrified as to what may occur in the future.

Lee

I agree with your comment. There is so much self centredness today and not a lot of people go out of their way to do things for others.

I agree I cannot believe how selfish and self centred people have become over the last few years. There is so much more of the gimme this, gimme that without any thought as to how it may occur. Unfortunately everyone leads busy lives, but there is no excuse for poor manners or the amount of violence and rage around. When you have children you bring them up with what you feel are good manners and belief in family bonds and doing the right thing by others - treat everyone as you yourself would like to be treated. It's a shame that society has changed the way some people feel about that.

goanna

Society has certainly changed in recent years. There seems to be more violence and more self centredness. Manners seem to be a thing of the past. It is so refreshing when an act of kindness is...

The law in this country is slack. Slap on the wrist isn't good enough when it comes to violent crimes. Parents aren't allowed to educate their decipline thier children with a slap when they're naughty because the law says its abuse but when the child hits out at the parents, they are being normal kids. This is not so. Kids today are getting away with everything and that's why we have stupid adults with no care in the world for others. They have no manners or respect for anyone. this doesn't go for all children, just the majority who aren't well trained.

thevet

Society has certainly changed in recent years. There seems to be more violence and more self centredness. Manners seem to be a thing of the past. It is so refreshing when an act of kindness is...

You have hit the nail on the head there is no respect for other people or their property from the younger generation. thevet

ral

I agree with your comment. There is so much self centredness today and not a lot of people go out of their way to do things for others.

since the QLD floods I have seen our community and region really come together as a community. On the day of the "super" storms (before Brisbane or Ipswich flooded) I witnessed unknown neighbours walking the streets during a break in the weather, carrying shovels and other tools offering assistance. As a thank you our neighbourhood got together and we basically had a week long street party during our flooded isolation. Neighbours became friends. We shared our supplies and resources. No one went without bread or milk. Men helped each other repair washed out driveways and recovering bogged in vehicles. Women made bread and hot meals and helped with the clean-ups. Then we went further afield, as the roads began to re-open to 4WD, and got supplies out to our neighbour's neighbours. Previously I would've agree with your comment on people being self-centred etc, but since those January floods I have seen true community spirit which has remained.

Poppy

I agree with what you say. Therefore I make a point of helping people with doors,parcels or children if need be. I also make a point of thanking people who help me. I like to treat people how I...

I too try and do little things that help people, make them smile. The other day I helped an elderly lady cross the road. I t felt so good, and such a little thing to do. I think perhaps we are so pushed with time restraints (many self imposed) and pressures of work etc that we fail to take the time and appreciate how our attitudes are affecting others. Particularly visible on the motorways in the morning. A smile doesn't take any time, it does take effort but it's worth it. I think the natural disasters we have been facing, including our tornado up here on the Shore, brings one back down to earth. It has me, anyway.

skinny649

I totally agree with you.
Gone are the days of manners, politeness, and in have come the cussing, fighting, more violence, more child death, a rapid increase in drug and alcohol...

i am 70 years old and deliver circulars and i find the Rotorua Teens very friendly and respectful so much so i think of them as family and am sure if i was in trouble or at risk they would come to my aid

sandy

I agree with your comment. There is so much self centredness today and not a lot of people go out of their way to do things for others.

I agree with what you say. Therefore I make a point of helping people with doors,parcels or children if need be. I also make a point of thanking people who help me. I like to treat people how I like to be treated. if I see someone wearing a colour or an item that suits them I tell them.
sandy

sandy

Society has certainly changed in recent years. There seems to be more violence and more self centredness. Manners seem to be a thing of the past. It is so refreshing when an act of kindness is...

agree with all you said

jenisweet

Society has certainly changed in recent years. There seems to be more violence and more self centredness. Manners seem to be a thing of the past. It is so refreshing when an act of kindness is...

I certainly agree with you as the young generation of today do not seem to value the older generation at all they do not appear to have any respect for their elders and appear to be a more selfish lot. But it all depends on how they are brought up. They do not appear to have a lot of patience, they see and want everything that is being advertised. Well who is to blame for all of this. I blame the media and the greedy advertising companies.

19chris51

I totally agree. Where have the days gone where people would stop and help others in the street - to cross the road, to carry the shopping. People in general however do not see people with a...

I am in total agreement with most of what is said, and I agree whole heartedly(if this how it is spelt) my son is disabled, and we see this all the time,people are very, very rude on a whole, and I am sorry to say its probably 50-50, as far as younger people and older people are concerned,I also had a father who was disabled (with Polio) , and let me tell you, with all of the hype (eg) disabled parks, disabled games and or other things that go around,people are NO better, in fact worse then they used to be with my Dad, the abuse we get(mainly from older people) when we use disabled parks, especially, where we live, it makes me so ugh ugh ugh.
So my opinion is that a lot of the younger (not all) are a so full of themselves, they can not see anyone else, and a lot of old people(not all again) but a lot , are just so self rightous, and full of sympathy for themselves, and their age, people are on the whole just damn RUDE,(then again,not all).
Our country and heaps of others from all I`v read is heading down a path, that is destroying our way of life,Heavens the Government and opposition is not doing too good either, with their manners, language and rudness (in Parliament debates) what can we expect from these examples.??????

Doc

Society has certainly changed in recent years. There seems to be more violence and more self centredness. Manners seem to be a thing of the past. It is so refreshing when an act of kindness is...

I agree with you completely.
You have expressed my sentiments better than I.

cricky

Society has certainly changed in recent years. There seems to be more violence and more self centredness. Manners seem to be a thing of the past. It is so refreshing when an act of kindness is...

I totally agree with you.
Gone are the days of manners, politeness, and in have come the cussing, fighting, more violence, more child death, a rapid increase in drug and alcohol abuse.
Todays society has really gone to the gutter.

vic

Society has certainly changed in recent years. There seems to be more violence and more self centredness. Manners seem to be a thing of the past. It is so refreshing when an act of kindness is...

I totally agree. Where have the days gone where people would stop and help others in the street - to cross the road, to carry the shopping. People in general however do not see people with a disability, In the past nine years I have had two operation on my leg due to an accident and have been blown away that people do not see that you are in a wheelchair or on crutches they just push past you let doors shut in your face. It only takes a few seconds to let the person hobblying/wheeling along to go through the gap first. Come on people opne your eyes.

ellamay

Society has certainly changed in recent years. There seems to be more violence and more self centredness. Manners seem to be a thing of the past. It is so refreshing when an act of kindness is...

I agree with your comment. There is so much self centredness today and not a lot of people go out of their way to do things for others.